Gone.

[Byron]

Sitting on the chair infront of his desk within the working room, John would check the network through, via an all-in-one screen computer. Rubbing his left hand along his chin, he read new messages regarding his fleet. While staring at the computer, he recognized a message suddenly blopping up at the right hand corner of the screen, indicating it's from his girlfriend. Clicking on the message, he'd read it, while his eyes widened in a less pleasant surprise. Quickly he shut down the device, standing up, making his way through his apartment, grabbing stuff like his wallet and his PDA, before he left through the entrance door of his apartment.
On his way to the elevator, he called a shuttle via the PDA, while waiting for the elevator. Once it arrived, he'd put the PDA back in a pocket, turning around towards the large mirrored walls, looking at himself, at his clearly stressed reflection, while taking sharp breathes. As the elevator stopped and the doors opened, he charged through the whole building, out of the building, right into the shuttle that was already waiting for him. Directing the driver, the shuttle made its way to the Brooklyn Hospital Center, taking only ten minutes. Paying the driver, he'd rush out of the shuttle, into the hospital, asking for his girlfriend's location, where he'd be directed to her room. With quick steps, he made his way towards it, opening the door, entering it.

As he entered, what he was seeing was a sterotypical hospital room, white blank walls with two opened windows at one side through which the sunlight is shining. At another side of the wall, a bed was standing on which Elena was lying, covered up to her throat with a white blanket. For a moment, he might thought she was asleep as she had her eyes closed currently, as if she was having a sweet slumber, but as soon as he shut the door behind him, she suddenly piped up, indicating she had been awake the whole time. Her hearably trembling voice sounded somewhat fragile and scared. "John", she just said, not opening her eyes yet.

His eyes widened in shock at the scene infront him, he was speechless for a longer moment, slowly stepping closer. Kneeling down next to her, at the side of the bed, his hands reached for her left arm covered by the blanket, carefully and softly. "I'm here, Elena." He almost whispered, in the lower tone his words are spoken.
His eyes became a little wet in sadness, compassion and pain, seeing Elena lying there, covered up to ther throat, worries filling his mind, made his body tremble slightly with fear, so did his lips, as his gaze wandered over his girlfriend, keeping a low breath, as he kneeled down next to her.

From her low, yet clearly audible and over-the-top regular breathing it quickly would become apparent to him that she was obviously trying to regulate herself, to keep her countenance so to say. What was going on inside her he could only guess at this point, but from how she was lying on that bed, it actually looked pretty calm and peaceful as if nothing had ever happened. More and more however, Elena pressed her eyelids and her mouth together before a sniff beca,e audible. As he was holding her hand, he would feel how she was tensing her muscles. "How does this look like to you?", she asked, still trembling, having difficulties to stay cool. In fact, she didn't even dare to look into his eyes right now, not wanting to see his expressions.

His eyes blinked briefly as he noticed her reactions, feeling her muscles tensing, a frown of deep worrying formed slight wrinkles on his forehead, he exhaled slowly and slightly, as she asks him this question. "Terrifying ... worrying, Elena. That is ... how it looks like to me ..." He'd take another sharp breath, turning his gaze aside for a moment, before it would return back to her, his with moistness gleaming eyes examine her facial expression. "What ... why?" He would only ask.

While still having her muscles strained, she clenched her teeth, her face looking pretty tensed, but also stressed at that moment. Knowing that at the very moment she opened her eyes she wouldn't be able to suppress a wailing attack, she still kept her eyes closed, though one tiny teardrop was already streaming from behind her eyelids. Her breathing audibly accelerated a little, however she soon managed to control her in- and exhaling again. Not knowing how to express the following words best, she instinctively decided to go with the bluntest approach imaginable. She had always been a diplomat, more or less knowing which words to choose for any given moment, but for this, no matter how long she searched, she really couldn't find anything suitable. "It's..." She halted again, gulping deeply as if she has a lump in her throat. Multiple seconds passed until she would manage to complete the sentence. "It's dead. Gone."

Just as he didn't think his shock couldn't grow any bigger, his expression would speak otherwisely. His eyes widened even more, still wet with sadness, though now adding a cold sheen of denial. He'd clench his teeth, only top open his mouth in a gap, unable to speak, soon returning into clenching his teeth once again. Shaking his head slightly, he'd take several sharp breathes, as he now was trying to hold back the same wailing attack alike hers. His left hand leaves her arm, brushing over his face, further to his forehead and through his face, before gasping between the words he finally manages to speak. "No ... no ... nonono ..." The cold denial would yet soon break, changing in realization, which finally broke the last bit of composure. With small globets of tears forming at the corner of his eyes, rolling down slowly his cheeks, his left hand would grab her arm once again, now firmly. "No ...", he said in an unsteady voice, mixed with slowly increasing sobbing, as he leaned his forhead against her arm.
For this young man, who was taken by surprise, worries and shock, the first time she announced her pregnancy, the world would slowly begin to shatter, as he seemingly had, even if he couldn't always show it due to his absence for duty, getting used to the idea of becoming a father, building a connection to the little thing that was growing within Elena's belly, that was his, that was hers, that was theirs.

Listening to his words, it wouldn't make it easier for her to look into his eyes, God alone knew at that point how they might look like at this stage, and to openly admit to him that what had bonded them the whole time was now gone. She simply didn't have the courage to do so, as she felt ashamed of herself, and above all was actually fearing his reaction. Yet she felt like she had to bring herself to finally do it, thus she opened her eyes slowly, and to nobody's surprise tears would immediately start running down from them. The lump in her throat became even bigger as she tilted her head to look at John as he huddled right beside her. Realizing what she had just done by this blunt statement. She had already opened her mouth to say something, however the words wouldn't want to come out, and all she felt able to do was shaking her head. She would have loved to just curl up and die right now, the uncomfort was clearly visible on her face. And the worst of all, she didn't know what there was to say. She couldn't tell John anything what she herself hadn't yet fully understood, after all.

Under shallow breathing, gasping between the sobbing, trying to slowly regain some composure to atleast be able to speak, he would as well, open his mouth, without any words able to be spoken. Taking another couple of minutes, he would finally find enough strength to speak. "How ... why ...?" It wouldn't last long, as he soon lost his composure again, falling back into another longer sequence of sobbing. Lifting his head slowly, he'd look into her eyes, with an expession of a broken man, redned eyes glisten with tears, the expression shifted from melancholy to simple heartaching agony. John would know the answer already, the answer of why their child would not be able to see the light of the world, not be able to enjoy a long life, not be able to grow into the symbol of proudness and care of two loving parents... and yet, he wasn't able to say it on his own. His lips would tremble, with the upcoming anger within his heart and mind, of his loss, unjust and icecold taken from him.

Elena really didn't want to give an answer to that, given that she knew far too well what the circumstances had been and what exactly had led to the baby's death. The question would make her feel ashamed even more, her face would start glowing in a discrete red as she turned her head around, not having to face John anymore. It was a relief, almost, not having to look at his reaction anymore. She had expected this to be painful, but not that painful. Using her hands to wash away some of the tears that had been running along her cheeks, she gave herself some time to think about an answer. And immediately realized that she just couldn't think about it right now. As she turned her head towards him again, her face had some almost begging features. "Please don't ask me that, John. Please."

He'd sigh deeply, nodding slighty, before he'd let his head hang, averting his eyes from her slowly, with a shallow breathing, he'd then remain silent, not asking further. In an inner fight of wanting to blame her, and knowing exactly that this wouldn't help, nor bring back the baby either, his eyes would restlessly wander from left to right, his lips still trembling, as his face would also gain a red hue, but with surpressed anger, as he clenched his teeth. His eyes would focus her again, staring at her with an expression that has now changed in disappointment, and anger as well. Rising slowly, as he released his hands from her he'd stand and turn around, grabbing one of these metal tablets on a small side table, throwing it, and the content on it, aside in anger, shouting his pain out, before he the hit the wall with all the pain in his heart channeling, powering his hit. Not even aware that he might just harmed his hand by that, he'd brush his hands through his hair, before he turned in her direction again, looking at her with his body trembling with pent up stacked anger and emotional pain. His hands clenching to fists.

Still in an attempt, though completely in vain, to hold back the tears, she stared at John with an aghast facial play flashing over her face, with an open mouth and widened eyes, blinking every now and then. She had never seen him that angry before, it caught her off-guard so to say, so there really was not much she could reply to this sudden eruption of agressions from him. It scared her a little though, as she was almost a hundred percent sure he was blaming her for all this, rightfully. But it all pulled her into a more and more helpless mood, taken by surprise. "I... I...", she just stuttered before lowering her head again to not fall into tears right in front of him.

Breathing and gasping heavily, the muscles of his arms would slowly relax, and so would his fists. Noticing her reaction, John realized he wouldn't care right at the moment, not if he scared her, or was the cause for tears.... his expression would cool down, from anger to a blank face. He then speaked with a depressed tone, that still had the hint of anger and suffering at the same time. "There are so many... ugh!" He shook his head slightly. "I need distance now... time to think, time to calm down - time to... cope with that. Get well soon, Elena." He then made his way towards the door, reaching for the knob, he looked over his shoulder at Elena again, for a brief moment.

He would leave a completely broken Elena behind him in the room, sitting in her bed and recapitatulating what had just happened. It all seemed to surreal to her, but if she thought about that, everything seemed surreal to her. There was still a tiny bit of hope left though, hope that all this was just a bad dream and that she would once wake up, find herself next to her boyfriend and could fall asleep again with a smile on her face. But more and more did she realize this would never happen. This was reality, reality had made its move, now it was her time to cope with it and make her own one. However, that was still just wishful thinking, and a thing of the future. For now, she would have to live through the despair that had come over her. She felt like a void, something was missing, something she realized she might not be able to live without with anymore. And the worst thing: She hadn't even been able to say goodbye, truly. It had been taken from her without a warning. She had taken it from herself.

//Done via Skype, might be messy.