"Why would we need a soiled pillowcase full of assorted hardware? Seriously, man, be reasonable."
He turned out of the doorway, assuming Scotty would follow, doing what could be charitably called a sashay if you squinted hard enough. He lacked high heels but stood on tiptoe, legs crossing over with each step. The man moved with surprising grace for someone of his years, but then again he was playing a part now and you don't spend twenty years in the luxury fleet without learning how to slip into character, even if it's someone else's character. Especially if it's someone else's character. He dove into a well rehearsed narration.
"The Enterprise-class is the flagship of Orbital Spa and Cruise. While we use the Oasis as the workhorse of our commuter routes and newer Kusari designs for deep space excursions, the Enterprise is the face of the luxury fleet. When the movers and shakers of Sirius need to do their moving and shaking, this is the first and only choice of vessel. Every inch of her is designed to see and be seen. Peter Englund first designed the Enterprise for White Spa Lines, a subsidiary of the corporation, with the intention of providing luxury accomodations to passengers en route to the spa worlds of Curacao and Baden Baden. Many travellers, especially first time travellers, were spending their first days on the worlds simply decompressing from the journey with low intensity acitivities like massages and beach lounging. Englund thought, why not build a vessel that makes the journey as plesant as the destination? And let the people get to purchasing higher end excursions that much more quickly once they're planet side?"
"The first vessel, the original Hawaii, became a status symbol among the elite of Sirius. Tickets became hotly contested and the fleet was expanded to accommodate the increased need but capped to keep that sense of status. Orbital started to build a mythos around the ships, and custom printed mementos of the journey like paper tickets, ship itineraries, and menus become valued collector items. Parties of the rich and famous would eventually feature at least one lively discussion comparing the merits of the various ships. Groups would take fiercely contested sides in debates about which vessels and captains they fancied. There are rumors that the Gas Mining Guild's final pivot from Samura to Kishiro technologies started with a chance conversation that found two high level executives defending their recent trips on Hawaii from a group stressing the benefits of Shetland."
"Eventually, the business model started to change. The liners had been greatly expanded and improved with their amenities over the years, becoming destinations in and of themselves. Eventually, the percentage of passengers using them as cruise ships surpassed those using them as liners, and the company shifted gears as a result. Now the venerable vessels would be parked as destinations around the most beautiful planets Sirius had to offer. Hawaii was modified to re-route her powercore from propulsion to defensive assets and parked in orbit over Planet Hiran in Sigma-19 and the others soon followed suit. Now serviced by lesser ships, the "classic" Enterprises sit in court, entertaining their newer brethren as glorified runabouts."
"That's not to say the updated Enterprises are anything to sneeze at. While the iconic fascades are identical, we're now up to version six of the ships. Orbital has learned from decades of logistics and luxury management to produce a ship that is capable of quickly and effortlessly meeting every need its passengers may have. The latest iterations, of which my beloved Breezewood was counted among..."
Seabourne suddenly stopped and stared off into the distance. His hand gently stroked a railing for a few seconds before it clenched into a fist and the rest of him shuddered. A smile snapped back onto his face and he continued as if nothing had happened.
"...the most flexible ships ever produced. The ship is networked with a series of tunnels and accessways that allow the crew to service any section of the ship instantly without being seen by passengers, giving the crew a bit of mystique. Many passenger's first memory of our cruises is opening the doors to their stateroom only to find their luggage has already been delivered ahead of them. On a large scale, the ships are very modular, with dedicated spaces for passenger amenities able to be changed or swapped out at the captain's discretion with only moderate downtime in dock. Passenger rooms themselves have automated bulkheads that can be re-arranged from the bridge to change room configurations and open or seal doorways to turn a dozen utilitarian berths into one large stateroom. The real genius is in the furniture, which is likewise designed to fold up and out of the way on command or deploy as needed. An Enterprise can go from hauling passengers on a budget to accommodating VIP suites in less than 10 hours. Why, I remember when we tore out most of the ship manually to accommodate refugees from Leeds during the tail end of the war, you would not BELIEVE the mountain of accoutrement we left on California Minor. We could have flipped a switch and gone into our ballroom configuration for maximum space, but even folded up the furniture still takes up cubic. The redecorating let us put another couple of hundred refugees in. Hell, we even ran a skeleton crew for those trips and opened up the crew quarters for it."
"Speaking of which, welcome to the crew quarters! As you can see, they are much more utilitarian than the rest of the ship, but they feature generous laundry and uniform storage to keep our Orbital attire in ship shape for passengers. They also feature more generous showers than most vessels for similar reasons. You'll also notice a lack of soundproofing down here compared to the passenger modules. Most of the ship's critical systems are routed down the middle of the crew sections. Englund was adamant that the crew should be always surrounded by such things to hear the heart of the ship, as he called it. New crew complain about compromised sleep schedules at first, but it's been a lifesaver on several journeys. Engineers will notice that something doesn't sound right long before a diagnosis reveals a problem."
"Ah, here we are! Crew infirmary. Not as accommodating as the passenger medbay, of course, but we don't need any fancy diagnostic equipment or autosurgeons, just a shot of good old epinephrine!"
Seabourne rummaged through a cabinet or two before extracting a small cylinder that was vacuumed sealed in plastic. He ripped open the plastic with his teeth, extracted the cylinder, and offered it to Scotty.
"Be a dear and stab me with this somewhere that isn't terribly painful?"
Seabourne collapsed to the floor, smiling all the way down. A squashed and leaking grapefruit tumbled across the floor.
