Deterrence Drains Droppings after Destruction of Delivery
by Petroula Carvos (Unofficial Corsair News Network)
Here's a quick breaking of news for you, readers.
I know a lot of you tend to read my articles while otherwise ...indisposed. Well, I hope you aren't looking at doing this on a Deterrence Vessel, or forget last night's spicy ration pack, you might just end up with a whole new meaning to "Burning Ring of Fire".
I have managed to come across a report stating that yesterday, Deterrence lost a transport vessel. Not to Nomads, Outcasts or Core, but to bad digestion and navigation.
Yesterday evening, the DTR-Marraco set out for a routine trip to deliver Hull Segments for a base in need of repairs. Unfortunately, it never made it.
<Satellite Images capturing the doomed vessel's final moments - Courtesy Solar Scanning Systems>
Mid-trip, the pilot suffered, shall we say ...digestive problems.
Stepping away from their controls with some urgency, the pilot seemingly forgot to set their nav-computer. In the meantime, two vessels from the Technocracy of Auxo found the vessel. We won't pretend their intentions were friendly, as they are known enemies of the Corsairs, but, as far as can be determined from satellite photos, did not fire a shot.
While radio signals were detected, the exact nature of the conversation is lost, as the satellite wasn't tuned for communications, but rather solar observation. The systems managed to eject the now very black box prior to explosion, which provided most of our information.
<Auxo vessels were spotted in the area, no shots were determined to have been fired. - Courtesy Solar Scanning Systems>
Recovered records show that the vessel had already been set to travel too close to the star, presumably to shave some kilometers off of an already long trip. Frantic to return to their controls at the sound of radio chatter it appears that the pilot accidentally steered the vessel into the star's corona.
A tragic loss, we can only hope the pilot had time to pull up their pants prior to their spontaneous ejection into space.
The pilot was later recovered, fully clothed, but severely burnt. No interviews were permitted by hospital staff.
However, this is not the end of the story. There was one line in the recovered records that raised eyebrows back here at the Unofficial Corsair News Network.
"Fertiliser Collection System 90% Full"
For answers to the pressing question of "What fertiliser?" we turned to the Deterrence Commander of Local Operations, Multannus Cerratus: Commander Cerratus, what is a "Fertiliser Collection System"? Well, up till now, we have relied upon raids on the Houses to supply all of our fertilisers for what limited farming we have. However, shipments of the goods have been scarce of late due to the increase in Synth Food's hyper-scaled products. In an effort to increase the crop yields here on Crete, we've been forced to turn to producing our own fertiliser products.
Are you collecting what I think you are suggesting? Human waste products, yes. I don't know if you have been on a ship or space station in the last few hundred years, but everything is collected and recycled. Carbon Dioxide is scrubbed and collected for reconversion to carbon and oxygen, urine is collected, purified and cycled back into the drinking supply. Spaceships are by nature, self-contained. Normally human waste is dehydrated, stored and removed by station or maintenance crews.
Wait... so when I am on a spaceship, the water contains human waste? Eww... No, it contains pure water that has been extracted, filtered and distilled. Even then, only on larger vessels. Smaller craft simply store the waste as is for removal.
If everything is already being reclaimed, what is the difference with this system? There are two main differences, first we do not dehydrate the waste. Instead we are storing it as biomass. Secondly, we are experimenting with treating the biomass with specially selected alien organisms collected right here in the Omicrons.
Are these alien organisms safe to use? Absolutely. After treating, the biomass is fermented while still in the ship. This kills off any dangerous organisms. As a bonus, we also reclaim methane gas from the process, which is stored in a secondary system. It's not yet at the level of being commercially viable for bulk distribution, but we are attempting to make headway. None of this could be done as cheaply or easily if we followed the standard dehydration process.
I'm probably going to regret asking this, but how does the diet of your pilots affect your... collection? This is a good point, the quality of the collected goods varies wildly from pilot to pilot. While we are homogenising the processed product, this can sometimes result in a lower quality than we would like. To this end Ravenna Nagash herself has signed off on a new plan.
A "New Plan" from the Executor? Special customised rations assigned to any larger ship that has the space for this system to be installed. We are using Synth Paste and Synth Gel donated to us by any generous Synth Foods pilots we meet, to create specially balanced diets for our space-faring crews. We are producing them in a range of... colours and flavours... as requested by Ravenna Nagash.
So far, we have mostly positive reports from the trial vessels.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have other tasks to attend.
And there you have it loyal readers, Deterrence is always trying to find ways to contribute to the well-being of Crete, even when their members are taking the time away from their battle stations.
Now the question is, should I hold it till I'm back in the office?
Reported in 828AS by the Unofficial Corsair News Network