Caught Between Two Worlds

[Fiorella de Marco]

It was complete silence. All she could hear were her own thoughts and nothing else. Feelings, maybe? Oh yes, thoughts and feelings enclosed her own universe. There was nothing further, nothing existed. And did time even pass? What is time? What is time for? Why does she call herself 'she' anyway? Why does she think like that? What does it mean?

None of this was clear. A sense of calm and peace was replaced by curiosity and confusion. Her own universe was changing. But why exactly? Ah yes, more and more questions gradually floated up from the back of her own mind. Her train of thought turned to the question of time. It was important. Very important.

But what did she need time for? Her mind existed in the here and now. Good, her thoughts were moving. An important question had been answered. She knew it - but which one? There were many, thousands, millions, countless. Another shift. But what did it feel like now? The universe was no longer still, eternal. She felt pleasure, euphoria at her success. She almost immersed herself in the feeling, breaking the thread of her thoughts.

No, she couldn't let that happen. Again, she had already answered the question of time, but how had she ever answered it? Her mind existed here and now. The answer, the true answer. She was in the present, but the very nature of the present implied the existence of the future - and the past. That was it. Time was known to her, she needed it, she used it. It determined her existence. Did she need it now? Yes, she does.

That feeling of euphoria again - stronger, more intense. It shook her universe, her being. Her thoughts sped up, her mind began to spin. Her universe was no longer still, it was changing, swirling. More sensations filled her mind. They were unpleasant, numbing. She knew them well, remembered them. Pain. Sharp pain.

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Fiorella Arianna de Marco | As Dawn Mayflower
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