Special Inspector P. Wee

[Angelfire]

Today was, by any standard, an interesting day!

A note was slipped under my office door with the words "Manhattan Donut Stock in short supply" hovering above the organic plate.

After brief enquiries at the local bar, I swiftly ascertained that the answer lay just outside the docking rings of Manhattan.

Two cups of tea and a massage later, I jumped into my loaner Starflea and headed space-side where I was greeted by...

(Drumroll)

...

Nothing.

It was then that I noted a silent 'lolwut' wafting by, shrouded in a blanket of ominous silence. Despite my various attempts to pinpoint his whereabouts at the time of the alleged aforementioned Donut disappearances, he maintained a suspicious silence and diligently continued his wafting. Either the man is deaf or rude. One can only guess that his comms were faulty at the time. (Previously his incoherent babblings were broadcast with great abandon on open comms). Nevertheless I recorded the occurrence whilst giving him the hairy eyebrow.

It was not long before a fellow with the rank of 'General' came whizzing past in a loner Starflea (much like my own at the time). He too ignored my hails... one can only imagine that a General in a Starflier has bigger things on his mind than a dwindling donut supply. I let him to his business and bothered him no more.

It did occur to me that these silent types might have Donuts stuffed in their mouths in some greedy attempt to hide the evidence but I brushed this aside as petty paranoia and continued my crusade for clues..

It was about the time of the Starflea Steering General that a particularly peculiar person in a sleek sophisticated Hessian looking ship of some sort, (A Sabre I believe), came into full view of my scanners.

The hull had the insignia 'eXistenz' branded upon it. A thought crossed my mind and unfortunately rolled out of my mouth before I could close it in time! ''Thats a quaint name for a ship''; said the idiotic I; "Does it come in man size?"

My comms suddenly came alive with an "oops" and the next thing I knew I was floating outside Manhattan in my life pod.

Dammit... the rental people are gonna kill me!

A small glitch in my matrix, a slip of the tongue and the flick of a switch and ''oops''.

I tell you, these Manhattanites take their Donuts very seriously!

When my court Marshall pertaining to the mysteriously exploding Starflea is done, I shall once again convince the rental company to give me wings!

Until then I shall be watching all who surreptitiously sample the delightful donut displays!