Omicron Oddities - Series

[Pennyfield]

Pilot Episode: No Blood After Dinner


Jill lounged on the couch, flipping through holovision channels, her feet tucked under a blanket. She exhaled contentedly, savoring the rare peace in their chaotic Crete home. The Theta Treaty—thirteen years strong and still holding—had brought a relative calm to the system. Even so, life in 848 AS was far from boring. Well, anything else than married life.

In the kitchen, Javier, her Corsair partner, was slicing vegetables with theatrical flair. He wore a frilly apron that read "Kiss the Sair" over his casual clothes, a stark contrast to his usual rugged demeanor. His sleeves were rolled up, revealing scars that told stories he’d never entirely share.

Can we invade Malta? Kill someone? he called out suddenly, his tone hopeful.
Jill didn’t even glance up. No, Javier. No wars between 8 PM and 12 PM.
Javier slammed the knife onto the counter with exaggerated frustration. But pleaaase, ju-. JUST some Bretonians? Pweeaaasee! he whined, leaning into the doorway with a mock pout.
Jill smirked, barely lifting her eyes from the screen. Oh, that beautiful Corsair face. Fine. But no blood baths, and come back clean. Anya is still upset about the smell last time.
Grinning, Javier darted for the door, grabbing his Legate helmet from the rack.

Wait! Jill called. Javier froze mid-step.
Forgot something? he asked, half-grinning.
Yes, Jill said, still lounging. Bring me something nice. No livestock this time, and it better be shiny. And remember Anya. She still thinks you’re a selfish conquistador.
Selfish?! Javier clutched his chest, feigning insult. I am the most generous Corsair in the Omicrons! He grinned wide. Fine, shiny things for you both. But shiny things don’t just appear. I’ll need to… borrow them.
Just no wars, no explosions, and definitely no livestock, Jill warned, turning back to her holoscreen.
Crystal clear! Javier said with a mock salute, darting out the door. Moments later, his Legate’s engines roared as it drifted into the void.

In orbit, Javier’s cruiser prowled the trade lanes like a predator. He scanned the lanes, muttering to himself, Alright. Something shiny, something nice, something for Anya. Easy. No explosions… unless necessary.
His scanner beeped, marking a DSE freighter loaded with Luxury Goods. A wide grin spread across his face. Perfect, he said, steering toward the target.


Hours later, Jill was sipping tea, chatting with Anya on holo.

So, what did Dad promise this time? Anya asked, her tone laced with both skepticism and amusement.
Something shiny, Jill replied, smirking. Let’s see if he remembers you this time.
If it’s another goat, I’m disowning him, Anya quipped, her eyes rolling dramatically.
Jill chuckled. He’s learning. Slowly. For a Corsair.

When the airlock hissed open, Javier strode in, lugging a large chest.
Mi amor, he declared, placing the chest on the counter. I present… treasures of the Omicrons!
Jill raised an eyebrow. What did you bring this time?
Javier opened the chest with a flourish, revealing sparkling jewels, alien artifacts, and—a very shiny toaster.
A toaster? Jill asked, incredulous.
A very shiny toaster! Javier said proudly. Thought it’d look great in the kitchen.

Anya’s holo-avatar appeared beside the chest. She leaned forward, inspecting the contents with her signature critical gaze. And for me? she prompted, crossing her arms.
Javier rummaged through the chest and pulled out a glowing alien trinket. This! It’s… uh… some kind of artifact. Shiny!
Anya tilted her head, examining the object. As long as it doesn’t try to eat me, I’ll take it.
Jill turned to Javier, arms crossed. See? No livestock, no blood, and you remembered someone else for once.

Javier gave an exaggerated bow. Your pirate-in-shining-armor, at your service!
The two laughed as the shiny toaster began to hum faintly on the counter, its glow pulsing ominously. Anya’s eyes widened. Uh, Mom? Is it supposed to do that?
Jill sighed. Let’s hope it’s just defective and not… alive.

Outside, the Omicron skyline glittered with darting ships—a chaotic, beautiful reminder of their unpredictable life together, bound by family, treaties, and just the right amount of mischief.