Maximum Awesome

[Blighter]

sv_cheats 1
changelevel Dreadnought-LDX-247.bsp
loading map...
loading Ambient.wav
loading Beep-beep!.wav
loading SLAP!.wav
loading LDX-247.tex
loading Hale.ai
loading MacElroy.ai
loading Sarge.ai
loading Stark.ai
loading Willows.ai
loading Ganja.flav
loading Whip.fear
entering level...

[color=#FFFFFF]*Beep-beep!*
[color=#FFCCFF]"Ugh... god..."

Remember how it all began?

[color=#FFFFFF]*Beep-beep!*
"Mmmh... where the hell am I..."

Yawning and a hangover?

*Beep-beep!*
"It wasn't a dream..."

Yup, another day in the life of Sarah Willows was just about to start...

*Beep-beep!*
"Oh **** me..."

...with her waking up, yawning, being hungover...

"Mmmh... not again Sarah... later... pleaaase..."

...and laying next to a lovely lady in her bed.

"Huh... oh. Good morning Annie."

Hey, atleast she still remembered.

"Morning honey... what time is it?"
*Beep-beep!*

Turning her head to face the clock and shutting off the alarm, Willows noticed one very important thing.

"It's way too ****ing early."
"Ugh... I don't want to get up..."
"You don't have to, but I do."
"Huh?"

She just flashed that wry smile of hers at Annie, who was rubbing her eyelids and looking confused in an oh so adorable way.

"I'm saying, you're ordered to stay in bed, sleep, and generally be lazy until I return, Lieutenant Stark."
"Mmmh... okay honey. I'll do."
"Good girl."

Didn't take more than a little kiss and a couple of moments and Annie was asleep again.
Willows on the other hand walked over to the bathroom and took a long look in the mirror.

"Oh man, bad hair day."

She wasn't pleased with what she saw. Her hair was a royal mess, and she just looked like she had slept for maybe half an hour.
After three days of partying non-stop.
Yeap, partying hard was really her thing, if you didn't guess that by now.

While muttering something to herself about wake-up times in the Navy she did the usual thing.
Brushed her teeth, showered, got her - by now way too long - hair in order and prepared herself for work.
Which just meant getting dressed somewhat, putting on her Captain's Hat and smoking a fat one.

"Mmmh...
I smoke two joints in the morning...
I smoke two joints at night...
I smoke two joints in the afternoon...
And it makes me feel alright..."

Or two, rather.

*Beep-beep!*

That was the phone on her desk.
No, I'm not going to have it go "Ding-ding-dong!" like the Ding Dong Song.
Anyway, she answered it.

"Whoever's there, it can wait."
"Nay, it cannae wait Boss."

Much to her dismay, she knew that when Mac said that, it really couldn't wait.

"What is it Mac?"
"'Ah guess... err... well..."
"Trouble?"

There's always trouble in Willows Country.

"Aye lass."
"Good or bad?"

Now the question is: What is "good" trouble?
Will we ever find out?
I don't know, I just go with the flow!

"Bad kind. 'Ah think last night 'ah messed up a lil'."

What happened last night again?

"Eh, weren't you at the party like everyone else?"
"Nay, 'ah was at the bridge for a while, figured 'ah would take a stroll an' all."
"And?"
"Christey happened t'be nearby."

Oh look, it just clicked in her head.
Good thing about it: She just went from sleepy to fully awake.
Bad thing about it: She just realized that something had gone FUBAR, and that it involved her former...
Love interest. Sort of. Commodore... well not really.
Exotic Dancer Christina - or better: Christycupcakes - Robinson.

"The hell'd you do Mac?"

I suppose now would be a good time to mention that a certain drunk Commander doesn't tend to get on well with a certain Commodore.
For no apparent reason. (For teh Lulz? Or is there a mystery to be unveiled? HURRR!)

"'Ah din' do anything, lass. Was entirely her fault."
"How'd you mean?"
"Think at some poin' she jus' couldn' be bothered to talk t'me, so she wanted t'see ye."
"And you told her what?"
"That y'were at the partay."

Willows raised an eyebrow.
It didn't sound very troublesome so far.
I mean, sure, she did have that thought that Mac might've been talking about Christy's dressing habits and all.
Skimpy, tight-fitting minidresses simply weren't what you were supposed to wear in the Navy all-day long.

"So all you did was follow my orders, no?"
"Weeell, ye could say that."

Well, it can't be that bad, can it?

"What the **** did you do?"
"I din' do anything!"
"What. The. Hell. Happened. Mac?"

Somehow she could hear him blush.
Yeah, I know, sounds weird. Call it a sixth sense or intuition or whatever.

"'Ah think 'ah sent the Durango to drydock.
An' some other boats too."

So much for "it can't be that bad".

"Maaac..."
"Sorry lass, 'ah really am sorry."

Fury-mode, here we go! AGAIN!

"WHAT THE **** MADE YOU SEND THE DAMN DURANGO TO THE DRYDOCK?"
"Err, lass..."
"MAAAC! WHAT BY ZEUS' ARSE WERE YOU THINKING?"
"B-b-but it wasn'..."
"WASN'T WHAT? WASN'T PLANNED? WAS MAYBE SOME RANDOM JOKE? SOMETHING YOU DID OUT OF BOREDOM?"
"Nay, it wasn't my..."
"YOUR WHAT MAC? WASN'T YOUR DAMN INTENTION? YOUR GODDAMN PLAN? NOT YOUR IDEA MAYBE?"
"It wasn't my fault! 'Ah swear by ma' beard it wasn't!"

Full stop.

"Whaddayamean, wasn't your fault?"
"She started it."

A wide grin appeared on Willows' face now.

"You pissed her off?"
"Maybey a lil', lass."
"And you wrecked the Durango?"
"Aye. And sent some other lads runnin' in a way."
"Wrecked?"
"Aye."

Oh baby, this was going to be an awesome day afterall.

"You did that with this bucket?"
"Err... aye?"
"Mac?"
"Aaaye?"
"I love the Navy."

That was her way of saying she loved Mac, more than anything else.
He couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"Oh lassie... so what's it we goin' to do?"
"I think we're going to call Dave and make sure we get whatever we want."

Willows' logic. You'll understand later.

"Sounds like a plan, lass."
"Yep. I'll be with you in a minute."

A moment later she hung up and walked back to the bedroom.
She didn't wake up Annie with her yelling, luckily, so she smiled and gave her a kiss on her forehead before she left her quarters...

"Good morn... *hic* mornin' Sarah... err... Admiral, I's meanin'."

...to be greeted by the Marine Sergeant who was supposed to guard her door.
Well, he was doing just that, with a bottle of Vodka in his hand.

"Sarah will do until you sober up, Sarge."
"Awlryte, Adm... *hic* Sarah!"

Picture a man wearing a typical fully-armored combat suit.
Tall, muscular guy. Mean-looking. Five o'clock shadow.
A Plasma Rifle shouldered, and said bottle of Vodka in hand.
Still sounds okay, doesn't it?

"You 'ave any orders for me Sarah?"
"How about you wipe that paint off and then make sure my Sleeping Beauty doesn't get disturbed?"

Now picture him covered in pink paint.
Don't ask why.
Just do it.

"Okay, I think I can do that. Uhm. Yeah. I think I can."
"Good thing Sarge. Would suck if you couldn't."

She flashed a devilish grin which made a shiver run down the Sergeant's spine.

"Yeap, sure would.
Oh, say, uh, permission to speak freely?"
"Granted."
"You're lookin' damn fine this mornin', Sarah."

Aww, cute. It made her blush a little.
Seems she had managed to look good on this morning afterall.

"Oh Sarge. Just make sure she doesn't get woken up by some moron until I'm back."
"Will do, Boss."

It only took a few minutes for her to make her way to the bridge.
The only things worth mentioning on the way were a lot of passed-out crew members, another lot who were either badly hungover, or still drinking.
A few whistled nonchalantly for some reason as she walked through the corridors of the Dreadnought.
Oh well, enough boring stuff.
She arrived at the bridge, only to be greeted by a saluting MacElroy.

"Boss."
"Mac."

He raised an eyebrow for a second as he saw her enter.

"Bad hair day, lass?"
"Yep."
"Not cold?"
"Nope."
"Fine by me then."

That last line was followed by a shrug.

"You wan' a look at 'um transcripts from after the stunt last night?"
"Why not."

Mac handed her a little clipboard.

"Anything overly interesting?"

She was skimming over the papers as she asked it.

"Can cut it down to Christey sayin' she hates ye."
"And you pissing her off more after?"

The big man blushed a tiny bit, which didn't go unnoticed by her.

[color=#FFCCFF]"Yeah, you did.
Whatever. Time to make a call."
"Aye. I'll connect ye."

After flinging away the clipboard over her shoulder, which was followed by her stretching her arms and yawning a little, she sat down in the Captain's Command Chair.
The "Hot Seat", as she liked to call it. Sitting down brought a faint yet beautiful smile to her face.

"Been a while, eh lass?"
"Sure as hell Mac, sure as hell."
"Ye ready?"
"There any time I ain't?"

Both were grinning at eachother. It was kind of a heartwarming moment.
Somehow, sitting in that chair with Mac standing by her side made her feel at home in a most peculiar way.

"'Ere we go."

The huge holoscreen in front of her came to life, and a busy-looking Admiral David Hale, sitting behind a large Mahogany desk - decorated with fine Walnut inlays -,
obviously deeply focused on some papers scattered in front of him, appeared on the screen.

"Good morning, Admiral Willows."

He didn't even look up as he said that.
Willows however threw a scornful look at Mac before she spoke.

"Admiral Hale."
"That's Fleet Admiral Hale now, Sarah."
"Love you too, Dave."
"I'm not in a mood for light-hearted humor, Sarah."
"I ain't either."
"You sent my ship to the drydock last night."
"Wasn't my fault. Nor Mac's."
"Robinson says other..."
"**** her?"

Hale paused his paperwork, but still didn't bother to look up.
He just clenched his fist for a second instead.

"That's what your son does, they say."
"Yeah yeah, whatever, he's a big boy now.
Anyway Dave, to business.
I'm going to work out a list of junk I need with Mac later.
I'll send it over once it's done, I just want to make sure the **** gets delivered here pron..."
"You ain't going to get a damn thing until you've explain..."
"Explained what, Dave?
That she can't get it in her head that I left her?
She fired on this bucket, 'cause of what?
'Cause Mac pissed her off a little?
He was off-duty as the rest of the damn crew, my orders.
And, despite everyone technically being off-duty, despite this here being the worst rustbucket you could find, the Durango was wrecked.
Along with some other poor sods' tin cans who had the great idea to side with her."

Hale just sighed. Somehow he had known this had been coming all along.
He closed his eyes and rubbed his eyelids, then leaned back and stared at the ceiling as he lit a cigarette.

"She shouldn't have given the order to fire and Mac shouldn't have pissed her off.
Both're guilty."
"Doesn't change that this bucket wrecked your Secondary Flagship."
"Did he really have to go all the way?"
"He doesn't go all the way if it ain't absolutely necessary.
You know how... well, you know."

Mac pretended to not have heard what she just said.
Hale just kept staring at the ceiling, hands behind his head, cigarette between his lips.

"Yeah yeah, I know."

He sighed and rubbed his eyelids again.

"Send it over when you have it.
If that handful of men you've got aboard that rustbucket did that already, I can't wait to see how it'll go when it's all back in shape."
"Thanks Dave!"

After taking a deep breath he looked at her...

"No prob... OH SWEET JESUS, WHY THE **** ARE YOU ONLY WEARING YOUR UNDERWEAR?"

...to see her there, sitting in the Hot Seat, only dressed in her bra and panties.
Well, and the Captain's Hat.

"What was that Dave? I can't hear you, the link must be breaking up..."

She motioned Mac to disconnect the communications link, which he promptly did.

"SARAH I SWEAR I'M GO---"

So much for business.

"So, what now lass?"

She stood up, walked over to Mac...

"Well, first thing..."
*SLAP!*

...and slapped him on the cheek... gently.

"Ow... wait a secon'... that din' even hurt."
"Yeah I know. You just did your job."
"Ye ain' mad?"
"Next time just mention you talked to him before I go into a conversation like that."

Well, Mac - and me too, for that matter - forgot to mention to her that he did have a nice in-space conversation with Hale last night.
Aside from the usual friendly chatter between two buffets of manliness, he did leak out that she had "promoted" herself to the rank of Admiral.
But anyway, DEEETAAAILS!

"Will do, lass, promise."

She scowled for a moment, but really, she couldn't be mad at the man.
Not after such a long time knowing him.

"Mac..."
"Aye, Sarah?"
"**** work. Tell the crew they've got time to sober up until I'm awake again."
"An' what about ye?"

She jumped on him to wrap her legs around his waist and throw her arms around his neck.

"Carry me to bed, my King!"

He held her tight and grinned.

"As ye wish, my Queen."

She'd fall asleep on the way back to her quarters and wouldn't wake up until much later that day.
And when she did, she wouldn't get out of bed for a long, long time.
Why?

Excessively cute and cuddly snuggling action with her Sleeping Beauty of course!