Well, overall, I do like the proposal. Also like everyone else, I am concerned about the BS granting powers.
I think there it would be very hard to prevent any sort of favoritism and this needs to be addressed. Even if a faction leader honestly thinks he is not letting bias influence his decision, there could still very well be an unconscious influence. I can think of three ways to address this, the first of which has been mentioned before:
Only allow factions to recommend the removal of battleship privileges.
Allow them to grant battleship licenses, but provide a rubric or system that the factions have to use to decide whether someone should be granted a license. Or have them make their own rubric and approve it. It doesnt have to be terribly specific but has to provide players with grounds to appeal the faction's decision and an idea of what the faction expects of an acceptable submission.
Allow factions to grant and ask for the suspension of BS licenses but also offer the licenses for sale. This will encourage people to make proper RP and work with factions but will make it so there is an alternative.
Edit: well, after that post from Xoria I guess option 2 wont work, have to go with option one or three. Or neither, which is seeming like a strong contender...
I am also a little concerned about allowing official factions to restrict access to the system that they own. It seems like that means the can effectively restrict access to any ship sold exclusively in that system. I can't say I support that.