Tales of the Admins

[Laowai]

As he crouched deep in the underbelly of the lost battlestar huddled over a particularly stubborn stain that the toothbrush just couldn't seem to shift ADMIN Laowai pondered his fate.

How had this happened? how had it come to this? It was all a blur, one minute sitting comfortably in orbit over Malta, the next, destroyed in a blink, and he hadnt even seen it!
He knew THE computer was to blame, the machine that he interfaces with and that allowed him control over the powers of ADMIN; it had inexplicably failed leaving his ship vulnerable and unable to function.
But the ADMIN tribunal would hear none of it, and here he was.....


He felt angered, betrayed, humiliated, things had not meant to happen this way! Those Outcast vessels should have been put in their rightful place, and yet he had been destroyed and ADMIN-JihadJoe had had to clean up the mess! It was unthinkable.
He had been handed back the keys to his vessel, but he could not bear to look at it and had had it changed immediatly, but now serving out the remainder of his cleaning sentence, his thoughts drifted from extreme to extreme.

"It was just a simple error, and the Outcast got lucky, its no matter, just head out there and take care of them all, like you always do". A little voice on his left hand shoulder said, glancing aside, he saw an image of himself; clad in white, with small wings and a Golden harp, above its head, a halo hovererd. "Ah... its you, good Laowai" he said
Though anyone looking into the room would have seen him talking to himself.


"Yes Laowai" the little figure said "It is I, good Laowai" he strummed a note on his harp "Nevermind these things that happen to vex you in Life, even mighty ADMINS have to overcome trouble. Just remember that yours is to seek and to aid, to render assistance to those who cannot help themselves, the weak, the needy, the oorp-namers, the stuck-in-bases, the bickering who need your gentle hand..."


"BOLLOCKS!!" another voice growled on his other shoulder. ADMIN Laowai turned insurprise to find a small, red image of himself, black horns jutting from its head and a sharp, forked pointed tail pointing threateningly at the figure of good Laowai. "That outcast so-and so- needs to be put in his place, look at where its landed you! down hear cleaning the pipes! Is that where you want to be! He's out there having his triumph over a trick of fate and you're doing this! Well enjoy pipe boy!" he huffed, little puffs of smoke coming from his nose "You COULD go out there and let 'em know who's boss you know, put 'em in their place, a little .kill there, an accidental .beam to Xerna... "

"No!" the voice of good Laowai chimed in! "That would be a gross violation of his sacred duty of protection! of stewardship! These outcasts do not know what they did, they are but simple inhabitants of this universe and unaware of the nature of the power of ADMIN, to abuse it in such a manner would be....."


"Fun?" Evil Laowai chuckled.... "Think of it, they undock and BOOM! no explanation, no nothing, you dont even have to do it from your ship! you could do it from out here... in your mind... or wait! Better! just go up there, kill a bunch of them! haha! make 'em run cryin' for their momma's!"

"Phillistine!" Good Laowai interupted again, "And what of the weak, the young baby Nubs who do'nt know better, they need your guidance and wisdom, and unfortunate who are ganked by the pvpwhores who need your protection, remember your sacred duty is one of trust and..."


"BORING!!" Evil Laowai moaned "Come on! what are you ADMIN or mouse? You're cleaning pipes for godsake man!!! Look, you've got bastille jujst sitting there"

"No, there is no justification for that!" Good Laowai huffed at him, "under what pretext could you even suggest that course of action"


"Under the justification of "Cos' i can?" Said Evil Laowai, "Or why not remove some money, better still, YOU take all the money, buy a big ship! gank EVERYONE!! hahahahahahha"

"Right, thats it!" Good Laowai leaped off his shoulder and attacked Evil Laowai who reacted quickly and a scuffle ensued and suddenly, the two of them vanished in a puff of black and white smoke.. leaving ADMIN Laowai to consider what he would do....

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