Looking for a Loan

[Tomtomrawr]

*** INCOMING TRANSMISSION ***

[font=Agency FB][color=#000000]PRIORITY: [color=#FF0000]High
ENCRYPTION: None
IDENTIFICATION: Simon Thompson, Freelancer
SOURCE: Planet Denver, Colorado
TARGET: Mr. Jeff Kinney
SUBJECT: Loan

Greetings Mr. Kinney.

I would be happy to provide you with this loan as soon as you need it. But as a precaution I require the following contract be filled in and sent back to me before I send the money.

I, (name here), agree to pay you, Simon Thompson, the sum of (insert amount here) credits by the (insert date here). If not, I agree to the 5% increase in the original 15% interest until I pay the money back.

Signed:
(Insert name here).

I hope you consider me to be the one who loans you this money.

[font=Agency FB][color=#FFFFFF]*** TRANSMISSION TERMINATED ***

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[17:45:39] Wolfs Ghost (Murphy): Tom, you have problems. Go kill yourself.
[19:25:12] Johnny (Jam): Tomtom, I will beat you with a spoon.
[14:22:56] Prarabdh Thakur: KILL HIM WITH A SHEEP.
[17:40:48] Eagle (Junes): Tom should be slapped with a spoon.
[11:32:18] Warspite: Thank you for being so awesome Tom. <3
[18:17:36] Metano: I love you tomtom
[20:06:24] Warspite: I will seriously give you epic head.

Edit: also, Tomtomrawr, fappin' like a boss.