Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta
Oh FISHMAN! I had the greatest time last night! See, there were these people... well, there was this one person, and also a not-person, and a few not-quite-but-almost persons... I guess it's best to start from the place of starting.
See, there was this Champion-guy, and he was all, "Attention all units, problem ship detected at D-3." He clearly needed my help, so I came! And there was a lightshow with a Library Bug-Boat, and a pointnose, and some other things. And it was all "Pew! Ka-pow! Pyoo pyoo pyoo!" Soon, some other guys came along, and the Bug-Boat went POOF! No more Librarian.
So I sat around with some other guys, the ones who were in the lightshow with Library-man. Then this other man came along!
CA-44:Vincennes: All righty, boys and girls - time to check for Rheinlanders... Brakelatabasaasta: Am I one? CA-44:Vincennes: Line up and cooperate please... Codebreaker-: line up and cooperate? Codebreaker-: i think not Brakelatabasaasta: Brakelatabasaasta will cooperate! Brakelatabasaasta: Cooperating is my seventh favorite thing! CA-44:Vincennes: I'm inspecting for Rheinlanders... Ajij: umm.. ok Maelstrom: There's a Rheinlander! Brakelatabasaasta: Oh! Oh! Pick me! Am I a Rheinlander?
Apparently I wasn't a Rheinlander, though. So while that guy was looking for Rheinland-friends, a Police-dude arrived and was all like "What's going on here?" A Junkperson in a Junky-looking Box-ship started talkin' to the Police-dude.
Maelstrom: Karl! Maelstrom: Go on a date with me! Maelstrom: Date me dammit! LPI-Karl.Agathon[D]: I'll have decline, as I do not know you.. Maelstrom: You can date me as a free man, or you can date me handcuffed to my bed. Maelstrom: Which is it going to be? CA-44:Vincennes: You have good leather ties? Maelstrom: Yes. CA-44:Vincennes: Ummm.... Maelstrom: I have the full range of... accessories. CA-44:Vincennes: Hmmm.... CA-44:Vincennes: This could be ... LPI-Karl.Agathon[D]: Well, as far as junkers go, the LPI have rules about not dating them *laughs* Maelstrom: Aww. Maelstrom: You're "not interested" in girls then? Maelstrom: You should've told me straight out. LPI-Karl.Agathon[D]: Oh trust me, "women" are very interesting LPI-Karl.Agathon[D]: however... I'm not entirely sure a Junker could be a woman CA-44:Vincennes: Wait... Vic.Thorn: *laughs* Maelstrom: I am offended. CA-44:Vincennes: Have you SEEN a picture of this lady? CA-44:Vincennes: Seriously, Karl... CA-44:Vincennes: You need to get out of your ship every so often...
It sounded like they were getting along quite well. The "Mail-storm" lady seemed like a very nice person. Karl started to say that he was on a business meeting for the past few whenevers, and the Mail-storm lady said that he had been, too.
Maelstrom: My last holiday involved getting snowed-in with 4 Kusari girls of questionable age on planet Denver. Maelstrom: I suppose you could call it a corporate "meeting" of sorts. Brakelatabasaasta: Ooh! Ooh! Am I a Kusari girl of questionable age? Maelstrom: No. Brakelatabasaasta: Aww... LPI-Karl.Agathon[D]: careful where you go with this story... I may have to arrest you *laughs* Maelstrom: Oh, yeah. Oops. Maelstrom: Forgot you're a cop. Maelstrom: They are all 18 or older. Maelstrom: As am I. Maelstrom: Nothing illegal or immoral occurs here... nope... nothing suss. Brakelatabasaasta: My face is training to be a cop. But the left ear keeps tripping him up on the exams. Brakelatabasaasta: He's the rebellious sort.
So then the Mail-storm lady got to talking about squishy-bits, and a knucklehead made a joke!
Knucklehead: I always find the 1's seem more squishy than the 0's... Brakelatabasaasta: AH HA HA HA HA HA... Brakelatabasaasta gets the joke! Maelstrom: Could you explain it to me. Brakelatabasaasta: No. Maelstrom: Meany.
She had to leave, though. Something very important came up, or something, and she flew away.
Maelstrom: Karl! Brakelatabasaasta: Karl! Maelstrom: uhoh... Brakelatabasaasta: Oh no! What? Maelstrom: Seems I've been discovered by..... GASP... my girlfreinds! Maelstrom: I must go before we are all beheaded! LPI-Karl.Agathon[D]: hmm... goodluck I suppose LPI-Karl.Agathon[D]: perhaps we'll meet again Maelstrom: Not a word to anyone. I was never here. You do not know me. Maelstrom: If they find out about us, we're both screwed. Maelstrom: I'll write to you sweetie! Brakelatabasaasta: Words to everyone! Someone was here! I kind of knew them! Brakelatabasaasta: If they find us, we... something about Ebenezer Scrooge! Brakelatabasaasta: And I like sweet things.
Afterward, I had a talk with the Knucklehead. Turns out he didn't actually have knuckles on his head, but that he did have heads on his knuckles. He got bit by a radioactive hand-head monster.
Then I went back to Manhattan to find an Angelman. He hadn't earned his wings yet, though, so he was just a Gel-man. No "aynj". At the time, he was spitting out people. Not enough to require that we open up a beach, though.
[The_Angels]Kazinsal: I'm not allowed to have pilots on me... [The_Angels]Kazinsal: Technically I'm not allowed to shoot people either. Brakelatabasaasta: I'm not allowed to have my cake and eat it, too, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?! Brakelatabasaasta: I did. [The_Angels]Kazinsal: I'm sorry sir, but you're broadcasting to an entity on another plane of existance.
There was also a man who needed Brakelatabasaasta's help. He was askin' questions, so I gave him answers!
Graham: do you need anything to mine asteroids? The_Jasonist: a gun The_Jasonist: go to the penn system Brakelatabasaasta: You need a Brakelatabasaasta. Graham: ha Brakelatabasaasta: A Brakelatabasaasta is the perfect tool for ANY job. Brakelatabasaasta: Great for those difficult jobs around the house! Brakelatabasaasta: Cleans to ceiling fan! Brakelatabasaasta: Grooms the cat! Brakelatabasaasta: Vacuums the sink! Jennifer.Government: *mutters* and drinks out of the toilet too Brakelatabasaasta: Hangs the carpet! Brakelatabasaasta: Eats all your food! Jennifer.Government: Flosses the gerbil.. Brakelatabasaasta: Brakelatabasaasta: A product you can't live without! Brakelatabasaasta: Buy one today! The_Jasonist: chop the chickens and feed the wood Brakelatabasaasta: Oh, a competitor, eh? The_Jasonist: lil bit
It's the BEST THING EVER. Everyone needs a Brakelatabasaasta! Yes, I totally named this awesome product after myself. I mean, fish yeah! Brakelatabasaasta is the greatest! Some ways into my sales-pitch, Jenny-Govvy came by. And oh, had I known then the chaos that would ensue from her presence... I probably would have just kept going along with what I was doing. 'Cause it was fun.
Jennifer.Government: Buy one. Heck, buy two Brakelatabasaasta: Buy twelve! Jennifer.Government: Or that Brakelatabasaasta: One for each of your kids! Jennifer.Government: I don't think I have twelve kids Jennifer.Government: Don't think I have ANY Brakelatabasaasta: You will! One swipe of your Brakelatabasaasta, and you'll be a baby-spawning machine! Jennifer.Government: *chokes* Jennifer.Government: Just for that comment, I'm gonna clean your clock
Yeah, she got kind of angry. All I was doing was advertising, so I don't see why. But she started threatening me and stuff from that point on. Meanwhile, I asked happy customer for his opinion on my amazing product...
Brakelatabasaasta: Excuse me, my good "I'm on another plane of existance" man... [The_Angels]Kazinsal: Yes? Brakelatabasaasta: Would you like to tell the folks at home... Brakelatabasaasta: Just how handy Brakelatabasaasta: Your Brakelatabasaasta Brakelatabasaasta: Is... around the house! [The_Angels]Kazinsal: I don't own a Brakelatabasaasta.
However, I'd forgotten that he hadn't bought one yet. Oh well. Then Jenny-Govvy finally came to me! I was so happy to see her that I practically exploded! But I didn't explode. Because if I did, the debris would probably kill several innocent monks. And monkeys.
Jennifer.Government: That's it Jennifer.Government: You're going down! Jennifer.Government: *grits teeth* Brakelatabasaasta: Jenny-Govvy! You're going UP! Jennifer.Government: You're next Brakelatabasaasta: UP with the Glee of owning your own, personal Brakelatabasaasta! Jennifer.Government: Brake..whatever Brakelatabasaasta: Brakelatabasaasta! Buy one today! Jennifer.Government: I am UP with the idea of spreading your ship across this system Jennifer.Government: Harassment is not tolerated by the Government Brakelatabasaasta: Go ahead! Spread your brand new Brakelatabasaasta about, and compare! Jennifer.Government: Anyone want to pay me to shut this thing up? Brakelatabasaasta: See how clean your system will be, after you use Brakelatabasaasta's patented things and stuff! Jennifer.Government: This is going to hurt Brakelatabasaasta: Look folks! Jenny Govvy has come to pick up HER Brakelatabasaasta. Brakelatabasaasta: Why don't you do the same?
I don't know why, but at this point, Jenny-Govvy started a lightshow with me. Gleefully, I spun around her as fast as I could to make it even better! But I still had to do my job, of course. I had a made-up-on-the-spot product to sell!
Brakelatabasaasta: Jenny Govvy! How's the new product holding up? Jennifer.Government: *screams* Brakelatabasaasta: That good? Wow! That's amazing! Brakelatabasaasta: The Brakelatabasaasta, folks! Buy yours TODAY.
Whew, what a day. And it's not even over! Oh there's so much more that happens with Jenny-Govvy and foreigners and the Gel-man and arsonists! But it'll all have to wait until nest time. I mean, all of these messages go straight to Brakelatabasaasta, and being a Brakelatabasaasta myself, I know that I get tired of reading such long reports. So I'mma break it up, and fill in the blankness later.
Tune in next weekdayyear sometime! Same Brakelatabasaasta time, same Brakelatabasaasta Kurgarble-jarbleson!
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