Word goes out that some poor soul got a promotion. The entire LPI office at One Police Plaza was consumed by hushed whispers as they waited for the Chief to strike with grim accuracy.
He came out of his office with his chair stuck to his rear. "SOMEONE GIT MA FRED! HE PUT... oh never mind..."
With that, he pulled out a paper and said, "Aiden Maggard! Yer promoted to an Officer proper! Get yer arse in a Liberator!"
A few sighs of relief, and everything was back to normal.