"How Roger beat the Junkers"

[Tomtomrawr]

A transmission is established with a poor connection and strength. The source of the transmission is the Beast's Belly. However, through the grainy picture a man can clearly be seen. He wears an impressive suit, and is extremely clean. Not a hair is out of place on his vibrant jungle of a head. He's freshly shaven, and it's obvious a real effort has been put into making him perfect for the camera. He's sitting in a wooden chair at an angle from the camera. There's a window behind him, with the curtains drawn. A candle flickers close to him, and shows what he's holding.

A book. But it's a childrens book. Large paper size, almost a square, with large letters on the front. He holds it at his side, showing the cover to all. The cover shows a cartoon sketch of a Roc Civilian Bomber, flying through the dust cloud of Omega-7. Behind the Roc lie scrap remains of several ships. The Roc is launching a Supernova Antimatter Cannon shot at another ship, which is the last survivor. It's a Salvager.

The man clears his throat, and then begins to read the title, which is written in cartoony letters on the front of the book.

'Today, children, we're having a special story. This one is called "How Roger beat the Junkers", by Roger Claymore. I'll begin now.'

He turns the cover to show the first and second pages and he shows it clearly to the camera. The picture quality suddenly improves, allowing you to read the story as the man reads it. The pictures show the same Roc from the front cover. Except this time it is chasing a Pirate Transport out of Omega-7.

'There once was a pirate named Roger. He enjoyed his piracy. One day, he decided to try a new prey: Junkers. He found some Junkers who were in his piracy zone, and pirated them in turn. He had to destroy one of them, and chase away the other. See the picture here?' The man points at the Roc, then the Pirate Transport. He turns the page, with the next two pages clear to see with a large picture of men at a conference table. There's a board with a copy of the picture from the previous pages, with a large red cross through it.

'But that Junker who got away had friends. And these friends didn't like Roger anymore. So they decided to get revenge. They put a bounty on him, and then sent ships after him.'

The man turns the page, and the next two pages show the familiar rock field of Omega-5. The Roc is cruising away toward a distant station, with the distinctive wreck of three Recyclers lying behind him.

'But the Junkers failed in their attack, and only made Roger feel even more invincible. They were losing to a single man in a Roc. But then, their bounty was answered by a single man.'

He turns the page, with the next two pages showing two Rocs in battle.

'This man, Dylan, managed to destroy Roger's Roc five times. An incredible spectacle for the Junkers, who laughed as they paid the victor. Roger then died of cancer and everybody lived happily ever after. The End.'

The man pauses for ten seconds, doing nothing. The candle continues to flicker. Then the man turns the page, showing a new picture. This shows the two Rocs from before with their noses pressed together. Cartoon hearts have been drawn around the scene.

'But not really, for Roger had a trick up his sleeve. He called Dylan, his friend, in to enact his plan.'

He turns the page, and the next two pages show Dylan's Roc engaged in combat. But it wasn't against Roger's Roc. It was against a CSV.

'Roger bought five Combat Service Vehicles and put his name on the transponder. Then he let Dylan destroy them., one by one. The Junkers paid him the massive eighty-five million credit sum, and he and Roger then split the money.'

He turns the page, to the last pages. The two Rocs are flying away toward the sun of Omega-3. Cartoon money has been drawn around the scene.

'Roger and Dylan were rich. The Junkers got what they deserved. But what happens next is a mystery.'

He closes the book. And the camera then shuts off. Another camera is turned on, this time with another man being shown. The picture quality has returned to its grainy quality as the scruffy man puts his face right up to the camera. The top right hand corner of the picture shows his identity.

[color=#FFCC33]Roger Claymore

Roger is laughing his head off.

Ya have no idea how long I've been waitin' for that guy ta read that littl' story I wrote. But it ain't really a story, 'cos it's all true.

I got ya good Junkers. Now I got ya creds that ya paid ta get tha mercs on me. I told ya that ya'd 'ave ta teach me a lesson yaselves, instead o' sendin' ya goons after me.

So now: are ya gonna come after me? Or will ya put anotha bounty on me, without takin' in tha lessons 'ere? 'Cos I got plenty more people ta hire 'nd destroy a few more CSVs. Those things are real cheap ta buy. I remember one o' ya said "ya could do it all day". Well, so can I.

Roger bursts into laughter and the transmission is cut off.

---

[17:45:39] Wolfs Ghost (Murphy): Tom, you have problems. Go kill yourself.
[19:25:12] Johnny (Jam): Tomtom, I will beat you with a spoon.
[14:22:56] Prarabdh Thakur: KILL HIM WITH A SHEEP.
[17:40:48] Eagle (Junes): Tom should be slapped with a spoon.
[11:32:18] Warspite: Thank you for being so awesome Tom. <3
[18:17:36] Metano: I love you tomtom
[20:06:24] Warspite: I will seriously give you epic head.

Edit: also, Tomtomrawr, fappin' like a boss.