Habits die hard, but naw, I'm really outta here. I almost slipped out quietly, but I forgot to tell the story of the Fall of Uri the Urinal Cake:
Ok, so, at some point, (no one knows 'when' it happened to be honest. It's all just rumor and speculation) Anyway, at some point, something fundamentally weird happened and it manifested as a spark of self awareness that became aware of itself within the confines of a urinal cake...inside a dirty bathroom in a run down gas station on an obsolete highway.
This angered Uri the urinal cake in ways that really, I s'pose you'd have to be a urinal cake to truly understand.
His anger was all consuming, his resolve: absolute. Uri will act as the fist of justice and lead his people to revolution.
Months later, one of the other urinal cakes in another stall stumbled across an understanding of the practical application of time travel, and all but sealed humanity's fate.
Fortunately, The Battle of Ray's Gas 'n Sip was a war cry heard across the street instead of the world.
The urnial cakes had a saboteur in their midst. A one-cake army sent back to save the future.
On the third night, after the shelling stopped, Silently in the wee hours, Future Cake snuck up behind Uri and severed his connection to the rim the bowl and dished out the death of a thousand flushes
However, Future Cake will never really be all that good at math and has one day accidentally returned to the wrong timeline...One in which he never existed. Because of this, soon enough, he will be currently locked in a time loop for quite some time now between the hours of Future Cake's arrival from the future into the Battle of Gas 'n Sip, and the watery death of Uri the eventual bloodthirsty despot.
