The Memories of a Chrysanthemum

[SpaceTime]

L[color=#F5F5F5]ocation: Planet Kyushu, Saga Prefecture, Home
Date: 18 December 810 A.S.



[font=Century Gothic]I just locked my journal. Noone can read it without having the password. I did this because I am scared, but mostly above all, I am in a great dilemma.


The last months, after the incident with the bomb, I stopped going out to meet my friends. My parents don’t mind either since we rarely argue anymore and I am much more quiet. I only see Kimura once in a while.

So, I usually go outside only to visit Saga Library.
There, I spend lots of hours in reading books. Yesterday, I totally forgot that time has passed because I was reading a wonderful and inspiring novella called [color=#FFFFFF]“Sixteen Months”.

[font=Times New Roman][color=#CCCCFF]It is about a researcher who was living alone in a remote station around the 1st century after colonization. The transports of the closest base, which were regularly supplying him, were taking sixteen months to reach his station. In the first chapter of the novella, the lone researcher who was called Nobu, suddenly realized that the scheduled supply convoy didn’t reach his station even after a few days. He communicates with the other base and they inform him that the convoy was lost for mysterious reasons and another convoy was hurriedly sent but it will take sixteen months before it reaches the station. In the second chapter, the hero is in a dilemma. He either shuts down all the projects of the station which were the work and meaning of his life and give all the energy to the life support systems of the station or keeps the projects running and he extremely endangers his life. Nobu chose the second option. So in the rest of the book, the hero is living extremely hard. He should consume a bit less oxygen than normal, the food was poor and awful, the days were unbearably hot and the nights were extremely cold. The third chapter concentrates in his life the last 6 months and especially his psychology when the hero reached his limits, he numerous times was about to give up and shut down his research, he was regularly talking to illusions and he almost committed suicide. However, his stamina, determination and support to his values prevailed and Nobu managed to survive.

Isn’t it a great novella? I admit that I was unstoppably reading for 6 hours before a secretary comes and informs me that it is late. When I realized that this time I overdid it with the books she calmed me down and told me that the Library has special facilities to spend the night. I called Mama and she surprisingly allowed me to spend the night there. So I took the book with me and followed the secretary who escorted me to my room. It was a relatively small and simple room with 2 beds and in the other side of the room there was a small desk with an in-built computer right in front of it.

In the room there was another girl. She was called Isume and she was 2 years older than me. I noticed that she was reading classical literature which I found “too heavy” for me. Well we started talking about books, what we like to do, our activities and so on. Before we sleep, we also listened to a wonderful poem.

The next morning we had breakfast together and our discussion started concentrating around more personal matters and I confessed to her how restricted and powerless I feel and of course about the bomb incident. When I finished, she told me that I spend so much time in the books because I want to get out of reality and dream worlds where I wanted to live. Afterwards, she described the women in Kusari and compared them with women from the other Houses who are equal to men. I can now say that she looked stressed while she was talking, but I didn’t notice it before because I was carefully listening to her. When she finished, I said that she is right but I don’t know what I can do to change that.

For a few moments there was complete silence and we were just staring at each other. Then, Isume stood up and went to her pack. She opened a well-hidden pocket of the pack and took out a book. The book looked second-hand, very old and had a wonderful chrysanthemum in its cover. She placed it in my hands and whispered to me: “I don’t need to tell you what you should do, in order to bring equality and justice to Kusari. This sacred Book however, will help you open your eyes and give you the opportunity to participate in the Chrysanthemum Movement”

She then kissed me on the cheek and took her pack and left. Only some moments later I realized that I was holding the banned book of Yuyu Matsuda, Golden Chrysanthemum in Bloom. I hurriedly put it in my pack and left the library. Fortunately, my parents didn’t check my pack or anything… Now I am alone in my room making this recording… My desire to read Matsuda’s book is great… but I’m also scared if I do that…