Good day Mr. Smallpiece and thank you for your application.
Security must find something alluring about your rough and readiness: they are interested in your hands-on approach to ferrets, and wondered if it could be applied to human sized creatures.
H.R are prepared to take a gamble on you and put you on the payroll, provided that you can: keep your hands to yourself when the paparazzi are around, not grope any senior female staff, and keep any discreet cargo movement off the grid.
If you can agree to this, drop your name at the Denver reception to receive your unquestionably stylish, red and white ensemble. Roxanne Spaulding, Acting Human resources liaison.