Uhm, hey, uhm... I do not know if you have noticed, but I put a key card into the pocket of your jacket, so, uhm, you can open the door to my room whenever you want. Like, even when I am not around, you can just sleep there if you want, and, uhm, if you have trouble with anything at Valoran, you can just go here and, uhm, take a break. There is a box with snacks and synth paste under the bed, water for weeks and some spare clothes I bought, since, uhm, you know, we have the same sizes.
Against better fudgement, I was in Tau-29 again and just kept looking at the sun and the way the light reflects from the asteroid belt. Nothing went wrong this time, so, uhm, I am okay. But being out there helps me a lot, in a way, to calm down and think about things. I think I am starting to process things now, with my escape from Pittsburgh and all that. I do wonder a bit where I could belong to. Not like, uhm, a faction or company or anything, I am pretty sure I want to stay out of trouble and those things. This woman at the freeport, I think Ezra? She kept talking about the leaks on the neural net and that I should really care about all that stuff, but I am still sure that, uhm, that this is best left to other people.
I am still of the opinion that everyone is doing horrible things, and that trying to find out about all these things does not make me any happier. I am sure there are many other slave pits like Pittsburgh or similarly horrible things, but, uhm, I would rather like to think about how pretty space is and, uhm, all the friends I have now, and about learning so I stop saying things that confuse other people. I sat in my cockpit and played harmonica, and I thought about getting a violin, too. Being in space has the advantage of nobody else but me getting to hear my pitiful attempts of making music, tihehe!
Uhm, if you have some time in the near future, I-I would like to ask you some questions, which are a bit more, uhm, personal. Because, uhm, I do wonder if- uhm- if, I do wonder if-
Uhm, nevermind, I, it us a difficult topic- and, eh- uhm- I do not- think there is any good- response-, uhm.
...neural.uplink detected...
...starting encryption...
...establishing connection...
identified: Lazurith
transmission point of origin: Freeport 14
current transmission has been successfully relayed to: 5 nodes with a delay of: 7 minutes ⚠ AUG-RA01 MALFUNCTION DETECTED: - check "DIAGNOSTICS.btk" log file
...TRANSLATING DATA...
Good grief. I didn't know you'd actually go through with that Lucky Seven thing... nngh. Let me check if I can get to your location... Curacao's pretty close from here.
...Oh. Oh, wait.
Oh, what the hell. How the fuck did you end up in GALLIA of all places?
Gosh, I'm... going to have to plan a route here. I'm guessing they've taken you out on some kind of tour... nngh. Blasted Spa & Cruise people. Why can't they just give out an ITINERARY before taking people all over Sirius?!
Okay, look, I am in the Montlaville Hotel on Blo- on this gallic planet, everyone here speaks gallic, uhm, I have no idea how to tell them to stop, and, uhm, there are like- uhm, I think seven gallic women in the bedroom here that kept me, uhm, there, and-
Uhm, just get me off this planet, please, really! I do not know where my clothes are, someone tattood "Property of OSC" on my lower belly, I do not even remember what happened after landing on Curacao, how I got here and why the OSC people are gone, and these women... have exhausted me, and my head hurts, in fact everything hurts, I have love bites all over my body and I have no idea how to get back to the star port without clothes, really.
I got a message from OSC about them being thankful for having killed a pirate?
[Knocking can be heard, followed by mutliple female voices, giggling and singing.]
[Female laughing can be heard, a loud plopping noise, too. Something heavy fell down. More laughter. Female cheering. The sound of sparkly water filling glasses can be heard. Sparkling foam. Undistinguishable gallic words are spoken in amused ways.]
I'm not... going to make it to the apartment tonight... f-feeling so sick. I'm so--so very cold. And sleepy. Tired. I'm hurting all over my body. My head is burning. I want to barf my guts out.
Everything hurts.
Do-don't look for me. I don't even know where I am... just... just want to sleep. Forever.
I do not understand anything anymore, really. It has never been this worse. My life feels incredibly surreal right now. I am hiding.
... you probably know that I hired Caliban to help me. You two seem to know each other well.
I, uhm. I asked Kimiko about how you are right now. She is looking after you, so that is good. I talked a bit with her, asked her a few questions. I understand her a bit better now. Or maybe not. I do not know. Every time I talk with her, I feel more and more confused. Somewhat intimidated. Somewhat bedazzled.
Does not matter, though. Everyone and their mother keeps telling me to reach out for Rebecca and you and try to talk. I feel like people think I am exaggerating when I say that she wanted to kill me. That she was almost successful at it. That she is incredibly dangerous. That she is a stalker. That she can find me anywhere, and will kill me. People make it sound like it is my turn. That I should reach out to her.
"Hey Rebecca. Remember the time you almost killed me? Ti-hehehe, that was a good time, right? Let us just forget about that, all is fine! Best friends, right? Buddy buddy? You surely would never again snap out like that and actually kill me? Oh, by the way, I slept with the person you love. Yeah, the person you love does not love you back. That person loves me. But hey, buddy buddy? Great fun, right? That is a nice crowbar you have there-"
This is not going to end well, Kris. There is no way out of this. I need to vanish. I thought I could do it on my own terms, but throwing all my money at Caliban just resulted in him telling me that he will not kill me, it would be against his reputation.
Everyone and their mother tells me he is a dangerous assassin, and yet he did not want to do it. He would just have needed to shoot at me. I would have dropped the shields. He would have gotten the blame, I would be dead, Rebecca would be fine and you two could just have been with each other without any further issues.
I do not know what to do anymore, Kris. I just want it to be over. I left Pittsburgh, I wanted to never feel the things the horrors down there made me feel. Yet I am again fearing for my life. I feel completely lost. It is cold here, people speak a different language and I am at the mercy of someone I barely know.
Remember what I've told you when we were on the Freeport?
"I really do not want you to die on me".
You promised you would let me look after you, just like how I'd let you look after me.
I know she's done wrong. And it can't be excused, and you have every right to be angry, furious even. Hell, I am going to have a good long talk with her right now, about why this is all kinds of wrong. I will try my best to keep her away from you as much as I can, because you have every right to not want any involvement in this hodgepodge.
But listen to me. Listen very closely, you handsome classy bumbling gentleman from Pittsburgh. You don't have to be afraid of me. I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you, because that's what friends do. There's so much more to life than the slobbering attention of the media. There's so much more than the creepy space squids or Caliban or Rebecca or Revenant. Think of all the times you said you'd want to visit Erie. Think of all the things you have yet to feel and experience. Life's awful, and yet it's fantastic at the same time. Don't you want to try out new things with yours truly, instead of just throwing everything away because of some problems? Suicide isn't the answer, and I have pointed a loaded gun at my own skull before, so please listen carefully.
I know you are tired. You just want to run away and trust me - I know the sentiment. You don't know how close I was from giving Revenant the finger and leaving her in a haze of smoke near Canaria. But I couldn't. Because-- because. Because I just can't. I can't run away.
But you can. You can try as many times as you want in life. These are all little truths I found out with a lot of pain and meditation. So let me help you on your feet, you've got a lot to do before you kick the bucket.
I've paid Caliban already. He will leave you alone now. He won't back down from this, because there were a dozen people in space listening to this pact I made with him, along with the entire air frequency of Freeport 14. There is no way he will ever come back to you. Doing so would destroy the reputation he cares so much about. He will leave you alone from now on. I'll talk to Becca to solve the other half of this problem.
Let it be known that Becca paid the bill. Check the attachment file at the bottom of this recording.
[Sighs, in both exhaustion and relief.] Now, you said you're in a freezing and very cold place, at the mercy of someone you don't know. Care to tell me a little more about that? Do you want me to come pick you up with the Homerunner? We'll have a trip on the way home, if you want. Heckle some spacers, drink some beer. We'll sit together on those awful chairs with the crappy leather that's actually more sponge than leather. It'll be fun. And we'll be happy.
...Or would you rather still have me away from your life.
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