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Doc sighed and then nodded, "I had a suspicion that's what you were going to ask me about, Senora. Not to be offensive but I've had Outcast females approach me with that same request, the difference being that the Outcasts have done it to themselves with that damned cardamine." He got a cross look on his face when he mentioned cardamine.
He then looked at Jaden with a concerned look, "The Corsairs make females give up their reproductive rights to prove themselves?" He then shook his head and said in an exhale, "my God."
He then looked back to her, "Don't take my reaction wrong but that is so...." He paused, looking for the right word, "......wrong. Again, it's just as wrong as Outcasts using..."he winced "....cardamine to force pilots to show loyalty."
Doc took a breath, collected himself and returned to his casual self, "You obviously want to conceive. I will do my best to help you. If you're willing to stay a few days and undergo some exams, I can get started here in Baffin. If you have any medical files on yourself, that's a good start. I have quarters for you on station if you wish them."
He took the last taste of his sparkling water and ordered another. "Another drink, Jaden?"
The Chimichanga in the woman's hands cracked and popped slightly as she tightened her grasp while listening to Doc. She had mixed emotions on his reaction to her people's ways:
On one hand, she felt like rebuking him for his seeming insensitivity. The Rite of Adulthood was there because the Corsairs didn't have the resources in their homeworlds to maintain high populations. It was a ritual made out of necessity, so that not only would the Empirio have just enough supplies to keep its people from starving, but also those that do survive the Rite and were able to produce children were respected as being worthy enough to take on the Empirio's heritage. She took great pride in looking up to those that could conceive as the chosen, the strong, and the pure. And to hear Doc say this ritual was wrong was like hearing him say marriage was wrong and immoral!
... On the other hand, the fact that this Rite was even necessary always did made her cry. It wasn't her people's fault they were forced to etch out a cruel existence on a barren rock in the center of a radioactive system for the better part of a millenia. It wasn't their fault they faced constant peril day in and day out, even as the rest of Sirius found them centuries later. It wasn't their fault they had little to trade to the other colonies except Artifacts. It wasn't their fault that, despite the Artifact boom, their non-aggression pacts and their trade agreements with several factions, it all still wasn't enough. They still needed to limit their population growth through the dreaded Rite. It was a simple fact of Corsair life, one that she hoped to one day prove unnecessary.
So the woman stayed silent and continued munching on her food as Doc voiced his painful, yet understandable opinions to her. Thankfully, the conversation changed topic to that of her condition, and she listened eagerly when he said he would do all he could to help. Of course he didn't guarantee results, but Doc seemed confident of himself, enough to have her consider his offer.
But before that, he did remind her of her Black Grog that stood by her, almost untouched. She slid the tankard in front of her, thought for several moments, and finally smiled to Doc as she replied, "Not necessary, Senor Holliday, I still have this poison to finish. But since I'm not in a suicidal mood right now, I'd like to enjoy my drink for once, so a shot glass would be nice. I won't even mind if you feel like grabbing a shot glass yourself and helping me down this little puppy. I promise you'll have a real bueno time if we take it slow, hahah!
"... That is... if you'd like to, Senor Holliday." She lowered her head sheepishly, realizing she got a little too excited and went out of line there. "Not forcing you or anything, Senor.
"... Now. As for my appointment, I don't have any qualms about staying here for a few days, but I would need to inform my... employer first." She paused for a moment, wondering to herself how David would react about this. "I'll also need to dust off my medical records. Haven't touched the things since half a year ago. I also hope the whole thing won't be too... expensive?"
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Doc just smiled. He knew he had her trust. Deep down he just hoped he could reverse her infertility. But for now, she was right. It was time to loosen up.
He motioned the waiter over, "An empty shot glass, please." With a nod, the waiter left and then returned with a glass, placing it before him.
"I'm ashamed to admit having never tried......." Pausing, he picked up the bottle, shrugged and poured himself a glass. He studied the rather potent looking mixture as he swirled it in his glass. With a shrug, he swallowed the entire mixture.
Placing the glass down, he raised his eyebrows, pulled his neck back a bit and finally looked at his guest and grinned. "Good stuff!"
He poured another glass and raised it for a toast, "To success in our endeavors."
Too late, the moment she saw Doc pour in another swig with the only shot glass on the table soon after he downed his first one, she realized the infamous Black Grog, a drink known for its potently-corrupting properties, had just tempted another innocent with its demonically-angelic spicy-sweet taste and deceptively-powerful alcohol content that rivaled even Absinthe in its experience. Though she wanted to keep him from downing his second swig too soon, it would've been disrespectful to deny the good Doc Holliday of a glorious toast.
She returned the gesture with the tankard itself and replied, "Salud to our endeavors," before unknowingly taking a sip bigger than she first planned to down. As the Black Grog incinerated her innards, the blissfully-sweet aftertaste followed down her throat and abdomen like a current of ice-cold honey after a wave of hellish bitterness, easing the woman's tenseness and making her feel more relaxed. More unafraid. She could feel her face glow slightly, but that didn't bother her that much yet. Carumba, how she loved Black Grog.
Supposing the mood felt ripe enough, the woman smiled softly to Doc and asked, "So Senor Holliday... It couldn't have been easy for your administrator amigo to have given up the warrior's life. Has he ever mentioned where, or who he draws his strength from, or what keeps him going despite what he's left behind?
"... And maybe..." She brushed her arm shyly as she said, "Well, if you don't mind me asking, Senor... What about you? It can't also be easy being an interstellar doctor and the leader of the TAZ. How do you do it, these days?"
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Doc gave a quiet snicker as he leaned forward, resting his arms on the table.
"My job has it's moments," he explained, "some days, it's easy. I have a good staff that support me well but then there are days where I can't wait for the day to end.
Why do I do it? The rewards far outweigh the penalties."
He sighed, "I will admit though, the one thing I hate doing more than any other is telling someone that they lost a loved one, especially a parent over the loss of a child. I've cried myself to sleep more than once." He paused, "but, being able to do good things for people, doing my part to make it a better universe I guess drives me."
"Now, Matok," he continued, "I think he's just looking to live out his remaining years in peace. He's getting old even if he denies it but after a lifetime of war, I think he's had enough. Besides his men, he lives alone so we visit often."
He could feel himself becoming more relaxed around her. It was a long pause but he kept his attention to her. He then shook his head, "I'm sorry. I just feel so relaxed around you that I just went blank."
The woman listened intently as Doc talked about himself, admiring his compassion and desire to help the universe, but she couldn't help but frown at his mention of shortcomings. As a Corsair, she was familiar with the concept of death, but she could only barely imagine the horrors of having human lives placed solely on one's hands, to be accountable for their continued existence. But perhaps, it was worse in his case. The knowledge that, despite all his skill and expertise, there were those he still couldn't save. And that would be something she could never, nor desire to, fathom.
She looked at Doc's eyes as he sighed. She knew that look all too well... the look of regret. The wish that he could've done more for his patients, to have saved them when he couldn't. She wanted to reach out, to place a consoling hand on his shoulder, but something inside told her it would just make matters worse, so she stopped herself from doing so.
On the mention of his amigo, she had mixed feelings about this Matok's predicament. On one hand, she felt a little disgusted how something as petty as old age would put a Corsair out of a warrior's life. On the other, she didn't have the right to judge him so harshly. She wasn't of advanced age, so she could only imagine what Matok's seen and experienced. Perhaps enough to warrant retirement after all. She took another sip of her Black Grog, hoping the drink would burn away her disgust.
Putting the tankard down, when she lifted her head to look back at Doc, that's when she noticed him staring blankly at her. It felt strange she wasn't unnerved by this. In fact, she began to admire Doc's heavy, relaxed eyes, and that charming, gentlemanly smile of his. She wasn't sure if it was the drink, or if he really was starting to growing on her. Meh, she was getting too drunk to care.
... Wait, what? Did he just say he felt relaxed around her? "Ah... S-Senor... That... You don't have to apologize, Senor Holliday. Actually, that... it was nice of you to say you're relaxed."
She poured Doc another shot as she continued, "People normally feel uneasy around me when I mention I was once a Corsair. So hearing something like that from a gentleman like you, that's... well... it doesn't happen everyday, I can tell you that." But why was she feeling all flustered about it? Why were her cheeks burning from that statement? Feh, another sip could do her nerves some good, so she thought... Ahhh, that sure did kill those gringo nerves of hers.
She looked over Doc's shoulder, back to the glowing hearth behind him. She sighed, smiling warmly as she let the dancing flames take her through another universe as she said, "You know... Some days, I wonder if I should give up being a Corsair... start a new life... have myself a lovely family... to live a happy, fulfilling life.
"... But..." She closed her eyes as she whispered half to herself, "How could such a life be fulfilling if, in doing so, I'd be breaking my promise to earn my familia's honor back?"
She opened her eyes again, and the first things she saw were the hearth's reflection in Doc's gentle eyes, the fires dancing round those windows to his soul. Those windows that, the more she stared straight into them, the more they seemed to take her breath away.
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Doc took a sip of the Grog. There was something about it. Fortunately for him, a high tolerance was still a strength of his.
"I wasn't always so kind," he said as he put the glass down, "there was a time that I used my guns to settle differences. I even gutted a man from navel to crotch once. I had nothing to lose. I just didn't care. I was on borrowed time and if I had been killed, well, it would have ended the suffering."
He took another sip before continuing, "I will never know how I got to Sirius but another brush with death made me want to change my ways. Then....Midori. She found her way to my heart and would eventually give me three children. They are my fulfillment, they are what drives me each day."
He sighed again, "And they wait home, sometimes days on end or weeks for me to quit running around. One day I'll go home and find her gone. I would probably deserve such a fate from her."
He failed to hide disappointment in himself at this point. He finished the rest of the Grog and put his glass back down. He then looked up to her, "Remember, settling down is something you should want to do.....for yourself. That much I do not regret. I cannot get back the friends of my past. In fact, I think all groups in Sirius and Gallia need to remember why it is they left Sol in the first place. They didn't learn."
With a look of disgust, he poured himself another glass.
The woman frowned as she listened to more of Doc's story. The fact that Doc once gunned a man down didn't surprise her at all, but it was the mention of Midori that made her feelings really hit rock bottom. She almost forgot Doc was a married man. Knowing her emotions were being fickle from the Grog, it made her feel really uncomfortable. Rubbing her eyes with her fingers, she sighed as she recomposed herself back to a more professional attitude.
Still, she felt disgusted at how Doc's family life was turning out to be. Placing the Black Grog down, she said, "Senor... I know it's not my place to say this, but... I feel you're looking at your familia problems the wrong way. If I was your precious Midori, Senor, I would be wholly and unconditionally proud of you for not only doing something you loved, but for also saving lives in doing so. Hell, I'd pilot my own freighter and help ship supplies to Med.Force.One once in a while, bringing our nino's and nina's along to teach them first-hand the basics of flight, and make them proud of what their papito did to put food on our tables.
"In the Empirio, Senor, mujeres's don't have time to sit in the sidelines and just take care of the household. Everyone has to constantly find ways to bring in either goods or credits for the Empirio. But no matter how little our time is that we spend with our relatives, we work hard to cherish every second of it like fiestas, for we never know if we'll ever see each other the next day."
She sighed again before continuing, "I've pondered about leaving the Corsario, not because I have a grudge against them, Senor... but because I have no familia to come back to. I was my mama's firstborn, and she died when I came into this universe. Papito never remarried, and he died almost right after my Rite of Adulthood because I couldn't get him fast enough to a doctor. My other relatives like any uncles, aunts or cousins I may have had, they disowned me ever since my great dishonor. And my remaining Intocable amigos had perished from that BHG ambush.
"I've had many ask me, 'Why do you still wish to help the Empirio, when you're basically dead to them?' Some days... I just don't know what to answer them anymore. But the funny thing is, by Madre Mia's grace, I still get up and help my people anyway. I guess..."
She paused a bit, "... I guess you could say what drives me to help is... that I don't want the future generations of the Empirio to experience the life that I led. Do you find that strange, Senor? I do, and many other gringo's I've met think so too."
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"I don't find it strange at all," answered Doc. "I see you as wanting to be an agent of change. In that respect, you and I are very much alike. My mother died young and my father lived a long life but never got over being a commander in the losing side of a war. It was differences between us that made us drift apart after I learned dentistry and the education that came with it. The rest I did myself."
He took another sip of the Grog. He was starting to feel loose. This stuff was good and he knew he needed to be careful. Still, with a beautiful woman before him, good drink and again far from home for another long stretch, caution wasn't on his mind.
"Now let's say that I'm able to give you back what you desire, the ability to have children, to have a family. How long would you wait and do you have any suitors?" he asked of her. The Grog was working. He was beginning to notice her but still maintained his professional attitude.
"Have a family..." She echoed out loud Doc's words, wondering to herself what it'd be like to have her own children one day. Only a few times has it really crossed her mind, but every time it did she usually just began to cry at being unable to. But now that the possibility really was there, her feelings were as mixed as ever.
"Suitors? Well... No? I mean... Yes, but..." The problem was, she herself wasn't sure how her relationship with David was coming along. After so many months of being together, he's proven to be the type of guy who was entirely content on dying alone. Though there were days he would look like he seemed interest, on most times he was adamant about the idea.
And on most days, she usually didn't like to talk about it. But the Grog in her system sure burned most of that ill-comfort from the subject. "Techni... cally, no. I don't have any suitors, Senor Holliday. I have an amigo who I spend time with, but we've kept each other mostly at arm's length... or at least, he has, but since he's ex-LSF, I can understand why he does so. He has that look about him that says he's seen a lot to view the universe with great cynicism... And frankly, I was just like that myself, until a long-departed lover of mine worked hard to show me how to love again. I thought about sharing what he taught me to David, but..."
The woman began frowning to herself. She looked at her left arm, and began to rub it slowly, as if trying to reassure it, letting out a heavy sigh as she did so. Feeling her nerves acting up again, she took the tankard and chugged just enough of the Grog to drown out those feelings from the roots. By the time she slammed the tankard back on the table, her cheeks felt like they were burning slightly on acid. Her head spun for a brief moment as her hair brushed gently onto the table. She gazed at how much Black Grog was still left: around a third of the container still swished within.
She looked at Doc again and was about to say something, but those eyes of his... Those soft, shining eyes of his made her pause and puff out sighs instead of words. The fact that he was married became more and more distant the more she looked at him. He was married? She could barely remember through the Grog.
"Senor, I..." She looked away for a moment before continuing, "... I don't think I've properly thanked you for being so patient with me. Most people would've easily shun me for knowing I was a Corsair. Eheheh, not to make you sound old, Senor, but..."
She leaned her head a bit to the side, smiling warmly to Doc as she said, "Papito always was a gentle person. I remember the days he used to cuddle me to sleep in his great arms and call me princesa as my belly groaned from hunger. Your eyes, Doc... You have that look about you that says you'll show just as much love to your children, as my Papito did for me. I'm glad to have met you, Senor Holliday, and I hope that any suitor who should come my way be just as great as my Papito... or be just as kind as you.
"I just..." She suddenly looked down sadly as she said, "... I just wish I myself was worthy enough to be accepted by such a lover."