Rehabilitation

[Gondoros]

He stood silently in the waiting room. Another session is at hand. The chair seemed more uncomfortable than last time. Or maybe he was nervous. The doctor opens the door to his office. He looks at John through his big round glasses.

Doc: Come in John. You're right on time.
John: Hey doc, what you got new glasses?

John takes a sit on the velvet couch in the office.
Velvet, odd. Is this supposed to make me feel more relaxed.As he was thinking that, he realized it was actually very comfortable. The doctor stand at his desk, looking tediously at some notes.

Doc: So John, how have been since last we spoke? Any new developments?
John: Well actually yeah. Got a new job.
Doc: That's good news. Are you excited?
John: Sure. With the baby on the way, that job is exactly what I needed.
Doc: Great John. I'm happy to see you making the right decisions.

John smiles and stands. He turns around and reaches for the door.

John: Well doc, as you can see yourself, nothing bad happened, so no need to talk more right?
Doc: Mr. Kurt let's not do this again shall we? You do know we have to go through every session. You do want to get better no?
John: Fine doc. Let's do this and be done with it.

John sits back on the couch. Comfortable again. He looks towards the window.

John: So what do you wanna know now?
Doc: It's not what I want to know. It's what you are willing to tell me. The floor is yours John.
John: I'm all out Doc. Sorry!
Doc: I don't believe that for a second. Let's review some things shall we?

John grunts. He has a bad feeling. The past should be left alone.

John: What do you have in mind? Childhood? School? Or maybe the lack of it? My father? Maybe my mom? how bout all the guys whose lives I ruined? (He gets noticeably upset)
Doc: John, this is for your own good. You must see that by now. You are a smart enough individual . Please lets respect each other.

John tries to calm down. He starts doing his breathing exercises. Learning those was a smart move. Avoids a lot of headache.

Doc: When is the last time you saw your father John?

It's all a blur to him. He can't even remember his face. His drunk, mean, scourged face.

John: When?

He pauses. His head slowly goes down as he whispers the words: when I killed him!

[Gondoros]

Doc: John? Go ahead.

John realises that the doctor did not hear him.

John: I don't remember that much about him as I said ........

He goes on describing his father. A stern man, rough, used to drink a lot. He wasn't always like that. When he was a child, maybe 10 years old, he remembers his father smiling at him, looking down, a big smile, a real one. At that time all seemed fine , as he remembers it. His parents got along, always holding hands, his sisters were home, ...... one big happy family.
Then one day it all changed. His father disappeared for a couple of years. Money was low , they had nowhere to turn. At the age of 13 he started hanging with an odd crowd. Got in trouble soon after. Had to do some things......being that young, that naive, a child by all facts. He tells himself he had to. The sound of his mother crying herself to sleep at night gave him the guts to do them.
But after a while that wasn't enough. Drugs came in the picture. Sweet relief. And besides that, it was a good way to make a living. A teenager selling drugs, so what's new? Not as if anybody cared. not with all the crap that was happening around him. His mother didn't know, or at least didn't care enough to pay attention.
After a while, the cops got tired of him. Sent to The Hands of Iron Correctional Institution on Houston. Just his luck to get the worst one. No matter, by that time he was tough and if he wasn't already, the daily beatings there made him tough. through all things that happened there ha made himself one promise : No crying, don't be like your mother! Don't be weak!
That's when his anger towards his father began to grow. He used it, molded it into a shield, to make him stronger, immune to the violence, immune to the pain. He planned everything in his head. Started to imagine having arguments with his father when they will meet again. As time passed the arguments grew to fights and towards the end, to his fathers death. Late in the night, that's all he was thinking. He's sit on the cold pavement in his room (more like a cell), staring at the wall in front of him, imagining his father nailed to it. He could taste the vengeance.
In the end he will find his revenge, but not his peace.

John stops talking as he looks at his right hand. It's shaking and he sees blood on it. But that can't be real! Can it?

Doc: John? John? Are you alright?

The doctor looks concerned. he stands and walks over to John, touching him on the shoulder. John looks back at him , his eyes are tearing up.

Doc: I think we're done for today John. Go home and be with your wife. We'll get back at it next time.

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[Gondoros]

Another day, another session.But something is not right, this day feels different. he can't really put his finger on it. There's just something about it. As he sits in the office waiting for the Doc, he looks out the window and tries to understand if these sessions are going somewhere. Is this all a waste of his time and a gain for the Doc. He is quite expensive. Nonetheless he will surely find out sooner or later.
The doctor enters the office greeting John, as he takes a sit on the couch.

John: Hey Doc. So is everything okay? Cause that sounded like a serious phone call.
Doc: Yes, yes, no problems. Having a teenage daughter has its drawbacks.
John: I guess I'll find that out myself ha? "laughs"
Doc: You sure will John. But in the meantime lets get you sorted out, shall we?
John: Right. Okay.
Doc: So how have you been managing? Everything alright at home?
John: Never been better. Carol is doing fine, the baby also. It's all working Doc.
Doc: Glad to hear that John. How about your new workplace? You haven't told me that much about it. Why is that?
John: You never asked? "grins"
Doc: John? "stares at him seriously"
John: Jezz Doc, you have got to lighten up.
Doc: I do tend to take these sort of things seriously John, after all this is my carrier, this is what I do. .... So go on, tell me, how did you come about finding a new job?
John: It was ...luck, maybe? It just feels right doc you know? Working there is .... well I'll tell you this much, if i had gotten this job earlier on, things would have been fairly less complicated in my life.
Doc: Better late than never, isn't that what they say John?
John: Right you are Doc. .... so to continue, I was out scrapping as usual , when i came across this guy. Seen him around, but never got around to saying anything, until one day I did. One thing let to another and Bill, that's his name, told me all about the company the he works for. The more he said the more I thought , Man that sounds too good to be true. He was kind enough to set up a meeting with his boss, good man, goes by the name of Fynn. Now Doc, I'm not the one to overly praise a guy, heck my personal opinion is that most folk out there are no good bastards, but I'll you , this guy is something else, a leader no doubt. He scores very high in my book. The Tinkers care about people, they don't just want work horses, they want good people, reliable.....family.

John's voice breaks as he mutters that word. "Family" A simple word, for many with not much meaning or importance. For him...everything. There's nothing more that he treasures in this world. There's nothing he wouldn't do to keep it.

Doc: Well John, I see that you are quite fond of your newly made friends, or shall I say family.
John: You got that right Doc."his voice goes down a bit" By the way, the T&T headquarters also have a clinic...so I think it's time I get the other.....treatment. now i'm not sure if it's something they do..but I'll try and sort it out. Fynn told me they have great staff there. So yeah I have that to look forward to....
Doc: I'm very proud of you John. That is a big step and I assure you it will be difficult for all parties involved, but John, once you get through with it you will feel like a new man. Addiction is terrible thing, but with the right help and the right attitude it can be overcome.
John: That's what i'm hopping for Doc. sure I've stayed away from the stuff for some time, but oh god " covers his face" it's so hard sometimes. I feel sick and helpless. The only thing that keeps me away from it is the baby and Carol, but I'm afraid! .....I'm afraid that one day that will not be enough......And I don't want to go back Doc......to hurting others and myself. I just don't............I'm tired...and I want it to stop for good.
---- You will make it John, just have fate and stay true to yourself.----

John: "raises head" What? ..what did you say Doc?
Doc: Nothing. John are you alright? you look like you've seen a ghost?
John: I'm...I'm okay, i'm good.. yeah....

[Gondoros]

John  wakes up. It was late afternoon at the facility. He could hear the steps of someone on the hallway. No doubt the nurse with his pills.

Nurse: Rise and shine Mr. Kurt. It's a beautifull day outside. You don't want to miss out right?
John: Yeah yeah ( takes his pills)
Nurse: How's the pain? 
John: Manageble. Is the doc in?
Nurse: Sure is, he's not a couch potatto as yourself! (smiles)
John: Yeah , well, I guess he's pain-free too, unlike myself (stares at the nurse)
Nurse: (smile is fadding) I guess he is , yes. Alright, let's get you out of this room and into open quarters. Miss Halligan is having a gathering. 
John: I'd rather just stay here and feel sorry for myself. That would be more exciting that one of her speeches. As a matter of fact just shoot me now please.
Nurse: (lets out a laughter) She's not on your good side is she?
John: No. Although to be fair, few people are.
Nurse: Ohh alrigth alright, stop with the whining. I got good news for you. I wasn't supposed to say anything ( gets closer) but I just saw The Doctor signing your discharge papers. He's on his way to tell you. 
John: Hmm. That's good. ( shows no emotion) I gotto start packing.....
Nurse: And here I thought you'd be happy or something. I feel sorry for you Mr. Kurt. Here you are alive and well, given a second chance at life and all you can say is "Hmmm". That is sad.
John: Yeah. (starts packing)

The flight to the Haven was silent. His...friend Bill, picked him up. They didn't need to talk about it, Bill has been through this many times. They haven't been good friends, nor old ones. But they were there for each other. When they docked  he just nodded to Bill. That was enough. 

Carol wasn't waiting for him. She'd gone to her sister on New London, to have the baby there....his son. He wouldn't see them soon, not because he didn't want to. it was more like he wasn't allowed. Throwing a marriage to the trash wasn't easy. but loosing Carol and his son was ....... . He stopped thinking about it. Like the doctor said , one day at the time. As he wandered the hall some guys bumps into him. 

Random guy: "laughing" Ohh sorry , didn't see ya there mate. Happy New Year !!!! "takes a drink"
John: What? Ohh yeah you too . 

Another year in front of him, maybe a new beginning. Doctor said stay away from the bad stuff, didn't say anything about drinking. John headed to the Cantina to start of the new year with a drink, and see what happens from there.