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**Sombs** · 06-13-2016, 12:26 PM,

These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

Log - Ezrael Vertiga

Miss Thorn was busy with Nancy, collecting physical data about her in different conditions. I had a weird encounter with both of them in the cantina, right after my last log entry. I mean, it was early in the morning, and usually Nancy is a sleepy sheepy, sleeping like a cat for about more than half a day thanks to her condition. So, as Maren returned to bed after peeing, I left our room to get me a cup of tea, like every morning, and of course, since the Hoffnungsschimmer is my ship, I didn't put on my clothes just to get something from the cantina. I mean, I was in fresh underwear, since I was showering before.

It was the morning right after the AFC event in Baffin, so I was still a bit, uhm, wasted. Tea was always a good idea. And, well, I didn't know Miss Thorn was already back on the Hoffnungsschimmer. Couldn't remember to let her in after we split up in Cortez. She went to the Black Cherry club in Kepler, and yet she already was back on the Hoffnungsschimmer again, proper dressed, showered, hair was clean, but her eyes were still red, and she was arguing with our Nodtvibot in the cantina, since he refused to bring her soy milk for her coffee, for some reason. However, it looked like he changed his robotic mind as I entered the room, just to be surprised that Miss Thorn was already there. And I was just in underwear. She didn't mind it.

So we began to talk, since I'm still suspicious about her. I mean, how can it be, that the Apahanta "intercepts" a message from her, heavily visually encrypted, in a way only someone with a feeling for synesthetics could decrypt. She wanted to talk to me aside from that, and then, coincidentally, she also wanted to come to the Hoffnungsschimmer to treat Nancy. When I asked her about she wanted to talk to me, she just said she wanted to thank me for my attempts to safe her earlier, in Omicron Lost and Minor. But to thank someone, you could just use the neural net and send a comm like she did. Why would she want to see me in person? And... what is with her hands? When she was on the Apahanta, back then in Omicron Lost, our medical chief said she didn't want to show her hands, and he told me they looked weird as he was able to just have a glimpse on them. Now, here on the Hoffnungsschimmer, she wears gloves all the time. I mean, that's nothing unusual. Still, I'm afraid I can't trust her 100%. But I can't interrogate her. She's possibly the only way to help Nancy right now. I can't risk it, and aside from all this, Miss Thorn seems to be a kind person, and secretly a wild party girl.

A short while later, Nancy entered the cantina, jogging, with music in her ears, surprised by our presence. And, well, I think I made her feel, uhm, uncomfortable with my 90% naked appearance, since we both are attracted in each other. So, I made a little joke and left the cantina, letting Nancy and Thorn alone. I was thinking about some trustworthy friends on Curacao that may be a good addition to the crew, especially one of them, that could take care of Nancy for a while. I'll contact them soon, as the time allows it.

Later that day, Maren and I decided to fly to Malta, just to get her new cardamine. A small cargo load full. Enough for a long time, just for Maren. I told her we can store it around the secured storage areas next to the Hoffnungsschimmer's energy core. The radiation can interfere with the most scanners, and I doubt the cardamine will suffer from it, as long as it's sealed. Also, there it is away from Nancy. I don't want her to sneak some cardamine just to get a quick high. Everything else, but not cardamine...

The trip to Malta was okay. Cayman, Omega-47, Omega-41, Omicron Gamma, Omicron Theta, the Sigmas and Omicron Beta and Alpha, and the same route back. Nothing bad happened, and there was no patrol in Omicron Gamma.

In fact, it was somehow romantic with her. I mean, I'm absolutely not comfortable with snubcraft. I think I'll sell the "Sternenstunde" for something heavier, as soon as the cash flows again. I don't know. We had a weird conversation in Omega-49 with Noah Xonnel, right before the flight. Looks like he's back alive now. Very quick. And the talk reminded me of his nose, and that I'll punch it. That guy... he talked with Maren about Wild ships. About the death of Leere, since Maren told me she killed him. She also told me about other Wild agents. Wespe and Justiz. And Xonnel talked about Unschuld, appearantly a women that had broken arms last time he met her. She didn't shot him, and he mentioned her as Maren mentioned her scarred hands, as if she was the only girl in Sirius with hurt hands. I don't know what that was. Felt a bit like he thought she was Unschuld. I mean, that's ridiculous. She worked with Leere, okay, but she isn't a Wild. She's not infected. That's impossible. She's just a normal girl. She loves me and I love her, and we told each other that multiple times during the flight to Malta.

Whatever. Crazy zombie guy. Since Maren wanted it, I told him he's still invited for a dinner. But if he states another suspicion like this, I'll definitely break his nose.

So we partied a bit yesterday, since me made a smuggle run from one end of Sirius to the other, with a cargo bay filled with Cardamine. It was very exciting, and Maren and me celebrated it with some hot, romantic hours. It was great. I still can't believe I'm that happy with a 'serious' relationship. I'm very happy with her.

Today, I wanted to do another job for a guy on Gran Canaria who had problems with a group of wannabe-mollies. The Apahanta came in handy, those guys won't bully anyone for a while. During that battle, two other ships appeared in Omega-49. The Canaan cruiser Kauket MK2 and the PRIME AI drone Empathy. Somehow, an interesting combination. The drone was, like most AI drones in Omega-49, just there to gather information. All of them. It watched the Apahanta fight the pirates, then asked us about our current status, since we obviously aren't Core anymore.

It was an interesting talk. The Captain of the Canaan vessel, James el Harady, he is interested in AI and nomad technology - I mean, who wonders - and I told him about my experiences of the past two months, be it about the mind melding with Sovereign, the Core skirmishes in Omicron Kappa and APM Adv. Hardware. Since we have some APM spare parts in the cargo bay of the Hoffnungsschimmer, I told him that I'll share some samples with him the next time I see him.

However. A red hessian arrived in Omega-49, angry about the PRIME units presence. After a longer talk, the situation escalated and the hessian attacked the PRIME unit within the CoF secured area around Gran Canaria, ignoring both the warnings of the Canaan vessel as well as mine. As he realized the AI drone won't return the fire, he stopped, asking it to drop parts of it's technology, as his demands of credits - he demanded credits within the No-Fire-Zone, from an AI, as if it had credits or even an account - but there was only so much the little AI buddy was able to do. Another talk later, the PRIME unit left, leaving the Canaan and us with the hessian. This guy, he did something similar like the Core did at Freeport 11 to initiate the Core-Zoner-conflict. Can't believe it. Stupid guy.

After that, he told me, on a public channel right next to Gran Canaria, to work for him and the red hessians as a spy, to watch over the Omega's "owners". I had to laugh about it, but he said he will contact me soon, so, I let myself surprise.

Anyway. I'll send the Canaan vessel all the data about this incident, so el Harady can inform the Zoner leaders about what happened. Right now, I'm watching the recording of it, just to double-check everything. After that, I guess I'll spend some more time with Maren and maybe with Nancy and Miss Thorn, too.

I'm not going to share you with them, yet, handsome.

Seriously, Maren, could you finally stop sneaking into my logs!?

I wouldn't need to sneak if you'd show them to me!

Stop touching the data-pad! Maren, don-

**Sombs** · 06-14-2016, 12:55 PM,

These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

Log - Ezrael Vertiga

So I spend the afternoon with contacting some old friends that could be helpful for our cause on the Apahanta and the Hoffnungsschimmer. I add the comms to this journal entry, so I have something to laugh about if I ever should check this again.

I began with Leon 'Hammer' Isley...

Contact - Leon Isley

Message #1 - Ezrael

Message #2 - Leon

Message #3 - Ezrael

Message #4 - Leon

Message #5 - Ezrael

And right now, he's on his way to Omega-49. Will be funny, I guess. He's... well, he is what I was before I met Maren. A hedonistic partyguy, but a kind one. One of my best students. And a very good friend. And still young and naive. If I remember correctly, he is 25 now. Building expensive hover boards for the tourists, as part of a small company.

Probably I should talk to him about the past before he meets Nancy and Maren. Back then, we made some... questionable decisions with some girls. Oh boy...

After that, I contacted Sombra. Heard she lost her ship in New York, again, so I thought she is looking for a new job. I mean, she's good with navigating bigger ships, but in the end, it looked like I have another job offer for her.

Contact - Sombra Hookier

Message #1 - Ezrael

Message #2 - Sombra

Message #3 - Sombra

Chatlogs from the Cuddles-Chat

Now I have to convince Maren to join me for another visit to Curacao. Somewhen. First, we have to welcome Leon here.

**Sombs** · (This post was last modified: 06-21-2016, 12:36 PM by Sombs.)

These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

Log - Ezrael Vertiga

Leon is now part of my crew, and I'm very glad about it. It's like a part of home is here, ready to brighten up the mood. Okay, he will need some time to adjust himself to the rest, but that's normal. I'm afraid his first encounter with Maren wasn't very lucky, since Leon and me celebrated our reunion on the Apahanta and drank a bit wine, and I didn't tell him about Maren's neuropathic hands, and he pulled them, hurting her accidentally. When I told him about it, he felt very bad.

Looks like his encounter with Nancy was way better, and I guess things will work out as I hoped they will. They had a nice talk together and already began to flirt. I think those two are on the same wavelength and match very well. And hopefully, this will decrease her interest in me. So I can focus more on Maren.

Thallia Thorn also joined my crew, more or less. She will still work for the Ingenuus Research Group, but she accepted to be both the Hoffnungsschimmer's and Apahanta's chief medical and science officer. Somehow, she was able to gain Maren's undoubtable trust, and I can't say I don't like her. I just wanted my questions to be answered, and after our second visit in the Chester system, she explained her weird behavior to me. However, I'm afraid there's more to it. I saw her hands and, for a very short moment, I was able to see parts of her naked body when she were in the Hoffnungsschimmer's decontamination chamber. I wonder how that could happen, but she's trying to make the best out of it.

In the recent days, we did some exploration missions in the outer parts of Bretonia, mostly cloaked. Maren and me visited the Edinburgh system, apparently mainly controlled by the Gaians, but also with a very obvious gallic influence...

A gaian saw us, asking the stereotypical set of questions about a foreign battleship in their system, but everything went out peacefully. Edinburgh seems to be a connection to the gallic systems, according to Maren, since we found a jump hole to Orkney relatively close to where they put a gallic warship. We surely won't go there, but knowing about it is always good.

As we accidentally found a jump hole to the Chester system in Dublin, Maren told me not to enter it, since the nomads have a defended lair in that system. She was serious about it, so we didn't go there. However, I did, the day after. I waited for Maren to not be around. Wasn't that easy, since I believ she noticed my interest in the Chester system. We had that sleepover party in the Hoffnungsschimmer's canteen, watched a weird kusarian movie, she fell asleep in my arms, while Nancy and Leon seemed to have had a fun time. So in the next morning, I tried to sneak away with the Apahanta, but shortly after getting on the Mako, Maren appeared with her funky little skittle-ship. So, we flew to Dublin together, and she told me she was doing some business in Bretonia while I told her we just wanted to do another exploration tour through Dublin. She was suspicious, but didn't keep digging.

So, Chester. What a weird system. Many debris, a ring of asteroids around the nomad lair, a planet in violet and a jump hole to Newcastle. Charting the system, I ordered the Apahanta to use that jump hole, so we did a little tour through Bretonia to get the locations of other jump holes. I doubt BPA and BAF would like to see a foreign battleship in their territory. However, I'll try to contact Bretonia, trying to get some of their guys to Omega-49 to talk to me and see the Apahanta, trying to get a permission to enter Bretonia with it, without the need of being cloaked all the time. Chances of that happening are very low, I guess, but I want to try it at least.

So the Apahanta flew to Newcastle, then to Manchester, and then to New London and back to Dublin. In Manchester, I tried to find a jump hole to Cortez, playing with the thought of visiting my home on Curacao with a battleship, but I don't want to push my luck. Although it would be cool to have a secured route to get from Omega-49 to Baffin and Coronado without being seen. Maren told me about the Commonwealth selling some of their ships to trustworthy people. She said she liked their Prosecutor-fighter, and told me about the Inquisitor gunboat, possibly worth a thought. I'll think about that later again. Yes, we have still a lot of money and could afford it, but right now I see no neccessarity to spend it on another pair of ships.

As the Apahanta flew cloaked through New London, we saw Auxesia near the planet, with their recent addition: Noah Xonnel, or at least his ship, the Paradox. However, given the fact that it was Raven who was able to "resurrect" this guy, I have no doubt this guy joined them therefore.

Uh, Maren found out that the Apahanta was in Chester, as I told her about a corridor to pass Bretonia without flying through New London. Clever girl. Well, she was an MND-agent, so it should be obvious she's that way. I always forget that, seeing just the clumsy girl she sometimes is, always managing to get half of her food on her clothes and such. She wasn't mad at me, but she told me to not belittle her anymore. Such a cute girl. I'm very blessed with having her.

The day after that, I wanted to get another set of data on Chester, this time not only with the Apahanta, but also with the Hoffnungsschimmer and Thallia around. Risky, yes, but the data collected both by the Apahanta's mighty battleship scanners as well as the Corvo's special sensor array would be worth it. That's what I thought. We were in Chester for over half an our, and then decided to leave. Right then, a pilot of the so called "Commune" appeared in Chester, and he started obviously from the ancient nomad lair. We left, but got intercepted at the Chester jump hole in Dublin, as somehow a pirate awaited the Hoffnungsschimmer there. Maren forgot to engage the cloak as she left Chester. That girl... that mistake costed us 20.000.000 credits, as Maren payed that to the pirate to not only make sure he wouldn't attack the Hoffnungsschimmer and the Apahanta, but also wouldn't tell Bretonia about us. It was a weird situation, since that pirate wasn't a Molly. He just was there. And then the Commune pilot arrived in Dublin, telling that he wanted to kill us. And both a Molly destroyer and a Molly bomber appeared as well, however, they remained silent. I thought we were terribly outmatched, since the all those guys flew bombers. The protecting the Apahanta itself wouldn't have been a problem. But the Hoffnungsschimmer was there, piloted by Maren, and Nancy was on the ship. Maren solved the situation somehow, paying that pirate, then talking to the Commune pilot, and here's the creepy part. I'll add a copy of the Hoffnungsschimmer's logs from that situation.

Logs: Dublin, Encounter with the Commune

So we made it back alive to the Omega-49 system.

All of us felt bad, except for Nancy, since she simply slept during all that. She didn't even notice the mine field in Dublin. I wish I could sleep like her.
If felt bad, because I risked Maren's and Nancy's life, just to get some information about an ancient nomad lair. Maren felt bad, because of the act she had to do with the Commune guy. She didn't want me to see it, as she was afraid I could think she actually was one of them, but I know she was in the MND, and she was on Malta multiple times. She knows how to talk to those guys, and how to act like. I told her everything was okay, if she just can accept my apology. Saw the logs with her on my lap and told her I'll never put the Hoffnungsschimmer into danger again. This is our home and our sanctuary. I guess she was glad to hear that...

Thallia somehow managed to get covered in dead nomad membrane goo. Her ship flew through one of the dead membranes of the lair and the stuff sticked on her ship. Later, a nomad drone punched a hole into her ship's hull with a missile, and when she returned to the camera, we saw her, covered in that slime. Looked funny, and luckily, it didn't harm her. I ordered Thallia to stay in the decontamination chamber for a while, and that's when I had a little talk with her. As she asked me to keep the things about her as a secret, I better don't add them to the logs. However, I now know why she hid her hands when she was on the Apahanta during our time in Omicron Lost, and I know now why she sent me a visual heavily encrypted transmission. She tested me, as she wanted to know if she could trust me, she said... I'm not very happy with it, but I guess that girl simply couldn't trust anyone for a long time.

Maren told me Noah Xonnel asked her about that dinner, so we're going to have it today in the evening. Not happy about it...

**Sombs** · 06-21-2016, 01:51 PM,

These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

Log - Ezrael Vertiga

Inviting Noah Xonnel to the dinner was the most spupid idea we ever had, and I hope I'll never see him again. I was very close to forget myself and break this guy his neck. How did he dare to suspect her over and over again to be an infected!? She's not! She is not infected! She is not infected! She is not infected!! Maren is just a normal girl. Yes, cardamine-addicted. Yes, she worked for the MND and yes, she also had to work with Leere. But she is not infected! No!

Maren was wonderful this evening. She prepared the canteen to make it look like a restaurant, somewhat. I wonder where all the mattresses from the sleepover party are now. We sat at the table, began to talk, and the first thing Xonnel began to talk about was the possibility of Maren being infected. The food was decent and the wine as well, at least. Then, when he was finished with acting like an idiot, he excused himself to go to the bathroom, where he did stay for the rest of his visit. Thallia looked after him, and I told Leon and Nancy to look after the little problem with the life support system, since the first thing Leon told me since his arrival was that he could feel how the temperature on the ship was about two degree colder than it should be. Also, they were obviously in a flirty mood, so I thought it was better to give them some time for themselves.

And then Maren asked me how I'd feel if she were really an infected. I thought that was a dumb, deplaced question, however, she was serious about that, looking more and more vulnerable as the evening continued, put under pressure by that idiot. I made a joke about it, since I didn't want to think about it. Instead, I stood up and looked after Xonnel and Thallia, since they didn't return, just to see them in the bathroom on the ground. Xonnel was lent against the wall of the stall, and Thallia showed her ungloved hands, touching his skin, and both of them remained silent, not moving, staring into each others eyes. Not in joy or love, but as if something mysterious was happening. I tried to seperate them, and Maren tried to stop me. Thallia was somehow very resistant, and when I finally managed to interrupt whatever they did, she looked at me, angry, nosebleeding, pushing me away. She said I should let her do her work, but... that was not her work. I let her continue, and Maren said something to me, but I was mad, leaving the bathroom. In that moment, everyone seemed to know more than I did, and I felt like a fooled, naive idiot, laughing about all the trust I give people without knowing them, obviously. Thallia? Good, she showed me her hands a day before. She told me what happened to her, but not what it made with her. Xonnel? Apparently he can share his mind once someone touches him, according to Maren. That's why she was wearing gloves this evening. And Maren? She knew everything. She knew about Thallia, about Xonnel, and she knew how to talk to the Commune. She knew about the noma lair in Chester, she knew the names of the Wild-agents, and she silently appeared and disappeared so often in the past, telling me she was buying stuff for hours. Xonnel suspected her to be Agent Unschuld. What a fitting word. I remember Maren's affection for rheinlandian poetic terms, and her ship, the Wiegenlied. Lullaby. Unschuld? Innocence, a word with more than just one meanings. Unschuld had broken arms. Maren has neuropathic arms. Unschuld didn't shot Xonnel. Maren only shoots if there is no other solution, according to her.

When Maren and I left the bathroom, I was about to loose my mind, angry about everyone expecting me to trust them while they distrust me. Was I a puppet? Was I already infected? Does one know that? Maren told me what she knew about Xonnel, and what she knew about Thallia, and that Thallia asked her to not tell her secrets to anyone else.

Maren resigned, dropping herself on the ground, leaning against the counter. She looked so vulnerable, and she knew I had all the doubts about her, and still tried to find it ridiculous. She is not infected. She is not! I walked over to her, held her with a strong grip. I don't wanted to let her go away. I wanted to feel her warmth, and make her feel my warmth. And without voice, she said "You know, don't you?" and it began to eat my sanity. I told her to shut up. I ordered her to. I don't need the truth anyway. Everything was okay the way it was.

I needed some time for myself and went back to our bedroom, after telling Nodtvibot to tell Xonnel to leave the ship, trying to collect my thoughts and not loosing it. Just in case, I put a gun under the bed, thinking about it the possibility. The gun was not loaded. I just wanted to have something there, in case.

Returning to the canteen, Xonnel, Thallia and Maren were still there, and Maren told Xonnel she would accompany him to the airlocks. Since I was very angry about Xonnel, I wanted to do it myself, possibly get a chance to punch him at least once. Maren, however, knew the way I smile like a devil when I am angry. So she came with us, leaving Thallia with her red eyes alone in the canteen. I didn't want to ask why she was about to cry, but I knew, Xonnel is to blame for it.

Maren and me brought him to the airlock, seeing Nancy and Leon on the way, and I think I have the right impression on what was going on. However, I wait for him or her to tell me what they did, since he was shirtless in all of the sudden. Anyway. Seeing Xonnel leaving my ship was sweet relief. But that just resulted in Maren and me being alone, and she dropped herself on the ground again, knowing that I was about to come to a conclusion. However...

Hallway camera record Wrote:"The person in front of me is who I love. The body as well as the mind. And as long as this person returns those feelings, I could never harm her. As long as you are you, I don't care what you are. I don't want to know the truth. I don't need it. I just need you. I need you at my side, always, whatever I do. I want to sleep with you, and I want to wake up with you, and I want to be there for you when you cry. I want to be the one that makes you laugh. I want to be your home, your family, your friend and your lover. I want you to be happy, because that makes me happy."

I don't know if I lost my mind. Still, I don't know for sure if she is infected, or even if I am. I hope she never tells me, and I hope I'll never find out. She never did anything to harm me. So I shouldn't harm her at all. I love her...

**Sombs** · 06-26-2016, 06:24 PM,

These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

Log - Ezrael Vertiga

She is infected.

For a moment, everything died to me, as I felt betrayed, hearing the truth from herself. But, as I said, she never did anything to harm me. Not the slightest bit. She always supportet me, did everything to help me on the Apahanta-heist and even wanted to be there when it happened. I didn't allow her. And it was better that way. Now, I have another conflict here. Will this really have a future? I somehow managed to stumble across Raven and Hunt in Omega-49 when I was training my snub-skills and somehow managed to piss off some drunken bounty hunters. They came, helped me, and we talked. I asked Raven some things about nomads and infected. And she soon asked me if it was about Maren, as she suspected her to be what she is actually.

However, I told Raven and Hunt I knew Maren wasn't a Wild. I tried to convince them, but I failed, as I wasn't really master of my emotions during that time. Now, I'm afraid they could do something to her. I still love her, whatever will happen. Am I too naive to still trust her? I just can't believe that she ever would do something against me. She did everything to convince me that she's not a bad one. And I believe her, and...

I talked to her nomad in a mindmeld. She calls it "Sans Valeur". Something gallic. Very fitting, as I don't like it. Both Maren and the nomad tried to convince me of their symbiotic relationship. The damage the cardamine, especially the liquid cardamine did to her body... according to Sans Valeur, it has been cured. They said one can't lie in a mindmeld, but that didn't include avoiding to tell the truth. So I asked them what the other part of the bargain was. On the one side, the nomad would prevent her from dying to the cardamine-addiction. But what does the nomad gain on the other hand? At first, it tried to avoid giving an answer about that. I got angry about that, and the nomad felt it. Did I scare it? Can I scare it? In the end, it turned out Maren and Sans Valeur were working against the Büro der Marineintelligenz, especially against Volker Koch, the Direktor of the BDM, blackmailing him for the life of his sister.

They assured me Koch was the evil one here, as he worked on a so called "Gleipnir"-device. Something that can separate nomads from the mindshare, according to them. Something that makes nomads mortal. Now, the Wild wants information on everything the BDM has to offer, just for the life of Volker Koch's sister. Very dark dealings both sides take. Maren, however, assured me she wasn't partaking in this any longer, and I hope that's true. I don't want her to be in danger. She said she never showed her face, but I doubt it's just that easy, even for a Wild.

As for now, I can deal with the situation. I'm happy with Maren, although it's weird to know that the nomad listens to everything we say and do. I can't say anything to Maren without Sans Valeur to not notice it. It's weird. I asked how the nomad reacts to me and Maren having sex. Maren said, it would zoom out. Reminds me of the last thing the nomad said during the mindmeld: As it is part of Maren and Maren part of it, Sans Valeur loves me either...

I guess I had some crazy alien threesomes and didn't even know it.

He giggles for a moment.

I really hope Auxesia doesn't do anything stupid. Hunt contacted me in private, telling me there are ways to extract a nomad. However, Maren would probably die, as she told me that would happen if Sans Valeur leaves her body. I can't that let happen. I can't loose her. Not after the things we went through. Who would I be without Maren?

To get us some new food supplies from Liberty, Maren and I flew to Manhattan, getting some sweets, since my sweetheart is a sucker for donuts. So we had a nice flight, talking a bit about things. We watched a Liberty Rogue Scylla kicking Navy ass right in front of Manhattan, destroying a bomber and a Liberty Assault Battlecruiser. Maren didn't feel comfy watching the scene, but I wanted to see what would await me if we had to bring the Apahanta to Liberty to hide it there.

Our ships were filled with food from Liberty. Some fish, meat, fruits, bread and rolls, and donuts. Lots of them. We talked about our future, as she is still careful about my point of view, now that she revealed herself to me. I told her my plans, as I still look for a balance. For peace. I want to know more about the nomads. About their motives. About how we can achieve that peace I dream of. I want to be happy with Maren, but until that can happen, I need to work hard. I'll ask Bretonia for a meeting soon, since we need to find a solution to the Apahanta's range. I want to fly through Bretonia. I need that passage to get from Omega-49 to Baffin and Puerto Rico, although I highly doubt Liberty will allow the Apahanta in their space. And I can't just say "I want a permission to get through Liberty space to hide my ship from Core in Puerto Rico". Fruck...

I'll need to talk to Thalllia soon. I want to know more about her and her abilities. However, since she seemes do hide herself very often, I somehow doubt that will happen before my meeting with El Harady from the Canaan Project.

**Sombs** · 06-28-2016, 08:12 AM,

These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

Log - Ezrael Vertiga

[Image: thallia_by_rhulaner-da81nh0.png]

I talked to Thallia, or better, interrogated her because of the events of that one dinner with Noah Xonnel, when she revealed her powers, and she showed me the place where she can talk normally to people. It was amazing, and scaring, just a bit. I mean, now I'm convinced she is okay. I was just a bit mad at her. She showed me her body and why she was hiding it all the time, but she never told me what all this was really about. Now I know, and I can't say I don't like it somehow. Leon and me seem to be the only normal people on the Hoffnungsschimmer, aside from Nancy with just having a brain issue.

I had to laugh as I saw what Thallia did to the Hoffnungsschimmer's medical bay, as she made a hole into the ceiling to place her scanner into the room, as it wasn't high enough. Now one can look into the medical bay from one of the crew quarters. Well, luckily it was one of the unused rooms, so it doesn't matter. I just found it funny what happens on my ship once I'm away.

In the meantime, Thallia made a PET scan on Nancy, with bad news: She isn't a bottle! Eh, computer, scratch that pun. Thallia had red eyes when I came to her. According to her, just because she hates to deliver bad news. And she didn't want me to tell the news. Confidential, she said, like a stereotypical doctor. Well, I didn't want to play the "I'm your captain!"-card, so I just asked Nancy herself. I brought her her first medication and she told me the results of the test and her options.

Option 1: Take a medication to prevent her brain from regenerating.
- The damage done to her brain by surgery would be cured by Nancy's body herself in ten years, so she would remember her past and stop suffering from her amnesia, headaches and lucid dreams. Taking that medication would prevent the brain from regenerating in a natural way, so her state wouldn't change at all. The only benefit would be that she still wouldn't remember her past as whatever she was back then. I can't believe she was a mass murderer. That's something one wants to make her believe. She isn't a crazy maniac. The very downside of that option is a shortened life-span, since her brain wouldn't be able to regenerate at all. I don't know how Thallia came to that conclusion, but that would shorten her life by up to ten years. My first thought about that was whether one of us would become old anyway.

Option 2: Let the brain regenerate.
- That would take up to ten years, so Nancy would be 38 already when her brain offers her the memories of the past, if not earlier or later. Her life wouldn't shorten, however, she would remember something she possible couldn't bear, and possible become mad about it, literally. Thallia can help her with the headaches, but there is no super-solution to this problem at all. I told Nancy about possible methods of supressing memories without the use of medication or surgery, however, I'm not a psychologic, nor can I tell if she would be able to work with her knowledge. Maybe. I still believe this is the better option, as I assured her: Whatever she was, she isn't it anymore and we will support her, no matter what happened back then.

Option 3: Cardamine.
- No. Thallia told her cardamine could be useful to enlonger her life again if she chooses option number one. But no, I won't allow that to happen, and Nancy assured me she won't do it as long as I wish she doesn't.

That reminded me of my influence on her. I wonder what kind of person I am in her opinion. She is such a damn sweet girl, and it somehow saddens me to see how we can't be how we want to be to each other. However, that's why I told Leon to look after her, and it looks like they are a nice couple. Maren and I invited Nancy and Leon to come with us on a hiking trip on Gran Canaria, since Maren desperately wanted us to do something fun together on that planet. I'd still prefer Curacao over everything else, but Gran Canaria can be nice during this time of year.

But Nancy refused, as she was still hurt by the bad news, and she told me she would prefer to stay with Leon alone at her Aurochs, having a good time with him there. I bet they will have... Nancy dropped a bomb a few days ago, telling Maren and me she gave Leon a shaft inspection with her mouth after he replaced a dysfunctional part in a ventilation tunnel. That lucky bastard! Right during that weird dinner with Noah Xonnel, as I told Nancy and Leon to leave and let me and Maren alone to talk for a while, while Thallia and Noah were in the bathroom, since he vomited.

So, Nancy blew Leon, and didn't make it a secret. What a badass girl. The total opposite of Maren in case of prudeness. Very funny contrast with those two girls. However, I don't want to sound unthankful. I'm pretty happy with Maren, and things are about to normalize a bit, although I always have that reminder of Sans Valeur hanging around her spine and listening to all the thigns we say. About that... I told Thallia to kill me if Maren infects me. That's something Maren can't control, I believe, and I'd rather see myself dead than working for the Wild. I just hope this case will never occur. I trust Maren and Sans Valeur to not play with me that way.

In the solar evening, we had our meeting with James El Harady and Maria Calvo from the Canaan Project. Two very amicable, funny individuals. Maybe a bit crazy, but that's just how people in the Outer Rim are. Better crazy in that way than in a Nodtviet-ish or Raven-ish way. Still regret my latest talk to Raven about Maren. Really hope they don't dare to touch her. I need to ask Thallia for help. A faked bio-scan or something must be possible to convince Auxesia that Maren isn't what she actually is...

Anyway, back to topic. Since El Harady was interested in learning more about APM-technology, I gave him four units of the APM advanced Hardware we stole with the Apahanta back then. Just some examples of the adapted nomad and AI technology the Core uses, especially in Mako-class Warships. He seemed very thankful. I guess it's hard to get their hands on something that the Core protects that desperately, since APM advanced Hardware is only sold at Alabama Station in Omicron Rho. Since I can't get there anymore, maybe the Puerto Rican junkers could help me aquire some more of it, since the Junkers should still have access to Alabama to sell their premium scrap there.

And then we talked about the independent network I want to establish with those transmitters Leon designed, however, Canaan was sceptical. I must say, maybe I fucked up, since I didn't know the right terms of physics and mechanics and what not. After all, I'm just a biology and surfing teacher, uh, and battleship captain. And thief and murderer of Core personnel. Shit, I should delete some things from my vita. In the end, I allowed Canaan free hand in redesigning the transmitters as well as the proposition Maria Calvo made about an alternative transmission encryption matrix. So at least the Lane Hackers can't read my sex mails to Maren any longer. If we would do them. Still. Was a shocking revelation to her when I told her people are likely to intercept messages, especially Lane Hackers. Canaan however should be less interested in my messages. Since I have a talent in acting dumb without knowing I'm acting at that moment. Surely didn't left the best impression on those professionals, but we will see what they can offer me.

Now, it's time to go hiking with Maren and Thallia. Will be fun, with camping included. No technology at all. Of course I lied when I said I wouldn't take a PDA with me. Just in case.

**Sombs** · 07-01-2016, 08:35 AM,

These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

Log - Ezrael Vertiga

It's again time to recollect my thoughts, since some things have happened in the meanwhile. Like the Gran Canaria hiking trip with Maren and Thallia. Leon and Nancy didn't come with us, as they wanted to have an evening just for themselves, so they went to Nancy's Aurochs and had a... well. Like Maren said to Thallia about me on their first meeting, they "enjoyed the pleasures of flesh". I still remember that, and I wasn't even there. It's totally creepy to remember the memories of another person. I don't really know how to feel about it. But let me bring order into my mind, recapitulating things.

We were on Gran Canaria in Omega-49, made the hiking trip Maren just wanted to do with us all the time, and as I said, it was just her, Thallia and me. It was an okay trip. The scent in the air was nice. Something even the luxuary air circulation system of the Hoffnungsschimmer can't replace. It's was funny to see Maren and Thallia in their "I'm totally not a tourist"-planetary outfits. I think Maren needs to do a bit more sports. Maybe Jogging with Nancy and Leon. We could do that as a group activity, since we somehow manage to not see each other that often a day.

Anyway. The trip found it's sudden end when Maren and Thallia told me about another two possible options for Nancy's treatment. One option was a weird suggestion about, what was it, some kind of nano-robotics or something. Thallia told me she wouldn't advise it, so that wasn't really an option. The second suggestion came from Maren, as she told me it should be able to transplant her nomad into Nancy's body, where it could be able to cure her issues or at least suppress her unwanted memories. However, that would mean the nomad would stay forever in her body. Just to remember: Nancy and Leon still don't know about Sans Valeur. I don't even know their opinion about the nomads, although I guess Leon, since he knows why I left Curacao back then, shares my antipathy against them. I never told Maren about that, and now that I know she is a Wild, I can't tell her. It's not an option any longer. I need to tell Leon to not tell her either.

It's so weird how the nomads seem to be just like us humans, different individuals with different goals. On the one hand, we have a Maren, the most gentle soul of Sirius, being a sucker for donuts and crying as soon as someone raises the voice. Like me on Gran Canaria, when she made the nomad suggestion. I wasn't loud or angry, or only just a bit, but I could see her reaction to me not willing to put a nomad into Nancy's body. It's so easy to hurt her, or maybe it's just about me, since she doesn't witness that part of me often. Until a day later, things were cured again, as I told her my feelings. The risk was too high. Even if it was Sans Valeur itself transplanted from Maren's body to Nancy's, what were the results? How would it affect Maren's physical and mental health? What would it do with Nancy? She didn't deserve to be a puppet...

On the other side, there are those puppets, controlled by nomads who seem to just want to see Sirius on fire. And I really, really hope Sans Valeur doesn't belong to them. I have my doubts.

During the next morning, or better noon, Leon called Maren on her PDA, asking to speak to me, as Nancy lost her memory again. According to him, she passed out during a very, very ambitious night with him, loosing her consciousness during her fourth climax. Leon was very scared and concerned. He docked her Aurochs with the Hoffnungsschimmer, brought Nancy to us, and but she didn't remember anyone of us, thinking we're a weird bunch of pirates trying to use her for our pleasure. She panicked, and while Leon tried to calm her down, Thallia gave her a tranquilizer. We brought her to the medical bay, and Thallia found out Nancy's memory loss is stress-related. Leon stayed with her for the whole time, while Maren... well, she wanted to show me her first meeting with Thallia, doing it via mindmeld.

It was weird, since I remember her memories of that day very clearly, even now, with the feelings she had, even about me. She was in a mindmeld with Thallia back then, sharing her emotions with her, letting Sans Valeur talk with Thallia. They enjoyed it, unlike me, and a weird part of it was Maren sharing her feelings about me with Thallia. Since I was living her memories, being her at that moment, even I was able to feel what she felt about me, and it's so sincere, so addicted. I'm her all and everything. No wonder she cries when I'm upset. Although she's very happy to have Thallia now as her good friend to talk about everything. And Nancy, although she will remain tranquilized for a week now, and Thallia will watch her every move.

Leon is sad and insecure about his relationship with her, he told me. She said she's okay with him dating other girls as well, as long as he doesn't start a serious relationship with them. With that mentality, she really is the perfect match for him... they are both just hedonists. However, he said he won't touch her as long as she could loose her memory again during intercourse. Poor guy, and poor Nancy.

My head needed some time to process all the new input I got from Maren's mindmeld. It was so weird, because after the mindmeld, she was doing me a favor down there, and I was distracted by flashing pictures in front of my eyes, of her meeting with Thallia, of Sans Valeur mind-fucking a Core pilot, making him commit suicide entering Toledo's atmosphere and Maren thinking of me like I was the greatest person in Sirius. If I didn't feel her emotions myself, I'd wonder if she loves or instead idolizes me. But it's sincere love...

Eh, and now the really shitty part.

Yesterday in the evening, Maren wanted some time for herself, taking her ship and cruising around Gran Canaria's orbit. I unmoored the Hoffnungsschimmer to look after her, just to see her talking to Raven. This gets worse every time she's around. This time, it was just a little chit chat, but it was somehow obvious how Raven distrusts Maren now, and I had to tell Maren about the last time I met Raven and Hunt, asking questions about nomads and wild. In the end, nothing bad happened yet, although Noah Xonnel joined the round. I told Maren to leave at once, letting me talk to them. She was against it, but she trusted me, following my orders.

While Raven seemed to have her usual personality issues, something that looks to me like she is bipolar, Xonnel and me talked. He is very well aware of my antipathy against him, and he doesn't blame me for it. I did apologize myself for my bad behavior in the end of the dinner, when I forced him to leave my ship, about to punch him at any possible occasion, only avoided by Maren coming with us to the airlock. And I begged Auxesia to leave Maren to me. To not interfere with her, since she is innocent, not harming anyone. She is literally Unschuld. At least, for now. She just wants to live her life at my side, and I want her at my side, living with me a peaceful life. It's just not that easy for us anymore.

I feel helpless. I just want to hate and get rid of Sans Valeur. I can't bear distrusting Maren with everything she does, since it all could be a trick of Sans Valeur to do anything hideous. Auxesia warned me. Everyone warns me about nomads and their mind tricks. Even the Core did back then. And now... Things won't become easier, won't they? I just hope Maren and me will be happy together as long as we can...

**Sombs** · (This post was last modified: 07-04-2016, 10:53 AM by Sombs.)

These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

Log - Ezrael Vertiga

Omega-49 feels nice, but Maren and I felt we needed to visit a special place. The place where it all started. Omicron Delta. Nostalgia drove us there, as I wished to see the sun of Delta with her beautiful belt shining on Freeport 11. It's the place were we meet each other, and it was the place were we became friends. So Maren took the Sweetheart and I choose the Hoffnungsschimmer, since Omicron Delta was now said to be a silent place, now that the Core and the Zoners stopped attacking each other - or at least we heard nothing about it so far.

The flight itself was okay. Romantic chat about how it happened, how we met. Was nice. And then, in Omega-47, she already felt the Guardians in Delta, being angry. She said as long as we stay away from them, it would be okay. And I just said I had not intention to get close to them. I better should have heard... Nancy and Leon were on the Hoffnungsschimmer as well, Nancy sleeping and Leon watching the flight via PDA-access to the 3D-cameras. When we arrived in Delta, he joined our comm channel from Nancy's room, where he had sit all the time while Nancy was in bed. I didn't quite get it, but something went wrong with the tranquilization of Nancy, and for some reason she's temporary paralyzed, not even able to move her arms and legs. She's totally relying on Leon, Maren and the Kishiro Service Robots. And on me, of course.

In Delta, we approached the Freeport 11, as it somehow felt like a distant home. Thallia was here, too, and we didn't know that. She had a meeting with Hans von Goeben, one of her collegues from the Ingenuus Research Group. Auxesia was in Delta, with more than a full wing of ships. A Saracen, the Artemis, the Redshift, the Serpentis and the Specter. They really pissed the nomads off, as they talked that loud, everyone in Omicron Delta could feel the nomads. What then happened...

3D-Footage of the event - 4 megabytes

The Marduks encircled us while they were cloaked, then they changed it. While everyone was about to panic, they shot the freeport with heavy force, like the Core did. Maren and Sans Valeur did their best to protect the Hoffnungsschimmer, as she said. I bet she talked to them in mind. However, she said we can go, so we tried and got away, hiding behind Tuvalu, tryint to calm down, as anyone else would have died. The Commune arrived in Delta right after that, but we're out of their range. Everyone was going insane. Maren was about to leave me, as she thought she would bring me in danger. But that's not true. She always kept the danger away from me, delivering the Lane Hacker message on her own, shielding me from nomad supporters and themselves, as well as doing great as a girlfriend. I had to convince her very hard to stay with me, because, I couldn't live without her anymore.

Leon was mad and panicked, sending a comm to all over sirius, showing pictures of the attack on the freeport, while he got responses from the weirdest people. Everyone acted like Marduks firing at the freeport was a normal thing, and that braindead girl, Enma Loyola, was at the freeport during the attack and still claimed Leon picked the wrong side - as if we got attacked. It's fucking freeport. What's wrong with that girl? So I checked something, because I heard that name Loyola earlier. In fact, she's one of the nomad supporters I encountered multiple times in Delta, as she and others attacked the Apahanta and the ships we had to protect, be it the Zoners or the expedition's Mako. She was there... Loyola. I need to be careful about her. Unpredictable, maybe mental ill, according to her reaction on the attack.

The other reactions were made by the Core and Captain Jessebelle Fillian. Captain Jess. She's still alive, it seems. I wonder how long that will last.

Leon has calmed down in the meantime, after punching me into the face and the belly, as I was the one who decided to go to Delta, without asking them for permission... nobody had thought that would happen. However, I won't take the Hoffnungsschimmer again to any dangerous space. I can't risk Nancy's and Leon's life that easily again. This time, I was just selfish and dumb.

We escaped Delta and returned to Omega-49, and during that flight, I felt a bit strange, as I was happy. More and more happy. I felt invincible with Maren at my side. So many times I cheated death. So many times luck was on my side. Lady luck, it seems, is my fiancé, Maren von Westefeld. Back on the Hoffnungsschimmer, I had to hold her for some minutes, and then we looked for Nancy and Leon. He already had punched me at that time, right after I left the bridge. Then he returned to Nancy, and so did we. She was still sleeping, so Maren woke her up, while I talked to Leon again. He was obviously in fear, sitting down in front of Nancy's bed, hugging his legs, shivering. Poor guy. That's something he really didn't deserve.

And then, we told them. I tried to be straight with it, but Nancy needed some time to get it, so Maren and Sans Valeur talked to her in a mindmeld, and according to them, everything is okay now. It's just Leon who is still bugged and scared by those three marduks. He told us to leave the room, so he could get some rest with Nancy, so we did. I'm now here in my room, and Maren is looking after Thallia, since she is already back on my ship, but I don't know her status. I hope she's okay, as she was in the center of the action in Delta...

**Sombs** · 07-19-2016, 07:29 AM,

These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

Log - Ezrael Vertiga

My little paradise here. Curacao. To be fair, the people around here are more than simple. They just want to relax and enjoy. I, for myself, enjoy the stares the girls give me when I surf or lie at the beach, but I guess Maren doesn't like it, for obvious reasons. I wonder if she would be willing to stay here with me in future, if we really should settle down somewhen, after all this. After the work is done. If I'm still alive then...

The Apahanta is now in Cortez, hidden in the Barrier Cloud, so the houses don't know about a foreign battleship right in front of their noses. Bretonia has other things to do, anyway. I just wish I could make a deal with Bretonia, but I don't think they would ever allow the Apahanta to exist in their space without forcing me to join their registered forces or something like that.
We had our meeting with Sombra, and she will work for us. I'll buy her the ship, and she will pay us some percentages of her profits. If anything else needs to be done with that ship, I'll pay that anyway. It's like her work for OSC, but to better conditions for her. Maren and me visited her in her apartment, and we saw her cats, Ezrael, Leon and Mojo. Funny, Leon is really female, and lazy. Just the opposite of the real Leon. We took her out, since she was about to get drunk, and instead we ate ice cream and talked about this and that. I'm afraid there are still some feelings of her for me, and Sombra is generally a girl that talks very openly about such things, to show her confidence about it, but aside from that, I think Maren will get along with her. Hopefully. Well, Maren called me, Sombra and Leon 'abnormal ones' as she talked about our... behavior when it comes to relationships and dating. That somehow lingers in my mind, as I'm still missing this behavior, but I just don't want to hurt Maren. Maybe we can find a compromise somewhen, but not now. Must sound strange, but I'm still young...

In the meantime, Katya Pimakhova joined our crew, now that I talk about it. We picked her up last night at the Barrier Gate Station in Coronado. Well, a Crayterian saw the Apahanta there and wasn't really happy about it, but I don't really care about Crayterians. I never had business with them and the area around the Barrier Gate Station shouldn't be of their concerns. However, if really neccessary, I will contact them to find a solution. I just want to be able to access Baffin and Barrier Gate with the Apahanta. I don't care about their space at all.

Miss Pimakhova is an interesting woman. For her age, she's very fit, and for a lady that chainsmokes, as well. I'm afraid I'm a bit too tempted by her, as she has that poetic charme, that deep voice and self-confident appearance. It's admirable. A strong woman, and she just defected from her home and their 'shephards' as she called them. It's a hard time for her, but on the Apahanta, she is safe and sound. Right now, she's sleeping in her room on my ship, tired of everything, hungry and thirsty. I gave her some instant-food and water. Nothing luxurious, but we're not on the Hoffnungsschimmer. I just hope I can offer her a decent home, and I hope she'll be a good addition to my crew.
We have her smokes on the Hoffnungsschimmer. 25 cargo units just smokes. A guy called Jimmy the Rat delivered those gallic cigarettes to Barrier Gate, a smuggler and as it seems a good one. Maybe he can be useful to us now and then. Seems to be a smoker as well, as he and Pimakhova had a little smoke-talk. It was somewhat adorable.

In the recent days, Maren and me also talked to Captain Tatsori of the Lightseeker, a Kusarian Battlecruiser of the Oracles. Since Maren really wants the Hoffnungsschimmer to get an upgraded cloaking device, it was really important to her. And aside from that, I had some questions to Tatsori, and Reena, however, Tatsori spoke most of the time to me. I learned the most important things about the Oracles and their mission, and they asked me to not support Auxesia to gain their trust. If you ask me, that's easy, since I have to be very careful about Auxesia. They are everywhere, and if I wasn't befriended with a nomad, that wasn't a problem. But I have to take care of Sans Valeur, or Valery, as we call it now.

Valery... It's strange. I mean, a nomad on my ship. A 'good' nomad. I still don't know what to think about it, but I feel like I can trust Valery. I think. After our little vacation, Valery will leave Maren to help Nancy, and hopefully the nomad will be able to fix Nancy's brain issues. Her paralysis is better now, as she is able to control the wheelchair on her own. It's somewhat adorable, as she sticks her tongue out, looking like it's the most ambitious thing she ever did, just using the wheelchair's joystick with her fingers.
Reminds me of the little experiment we did. I took Nancy into the Curacaoan water, holding her tight to make sure she wouldn't get any water to her face. She loved it. It was so adorable to see her in the water. It really was nice...

Somehow, I don't feel happy at all, and I can't tell what it is. Maybe it's about Maren, still doing shady business behind my back. There was this Corsair girl that attacked the Hoffnungsschimmer right at the landing pads, hoping for our shields to be down, but they weren't. Leon somehow managed to piss off her after having some fun with her on Curacao, and then she turned against him, according to him. Well, and Maren hunted that girl, and she was furious about it, telling me what she did to her mind. For a moment, Maren was a monster... but that's something everyone has to be sometimes. Now, I guess the Corsair Girl, Vyu, will leave us alone, hopefully. Maren still feels bad about it, and she is afraid someone could have trace it back to her, however, that's impossible. The only one who knows about Unschuld in Cortez was an Order pilot, and maybe the two Bretonian units that chased her to Cortez, just to ask about the Rheinland ship in 'their' space. It... somehow reminded me how I felt after I killed my men on the Apahanta, as they turned against me during the defection... I'll never forget it. Never...

In the next days, we have to leave Curacao, as I believe Maren doesn't like it, and we have other things to do. Didn't see Thallia in the recent days, and that's a thing, as she is on the Hoffnungsschimmer, but I guess she was enjoying Curacao herself. Little battle dwarf. I still have to contact Canaan. Didn't hear about them, and that worries me. James El Harady and Maria Calvo, they seem to be a nice couple, but they choose to work in a very dangerous environment. If it's not the Gammuan AIs themselves, then the constant radiation in Omicron Kappa or the nomad or the Core. Or the Corsairs. I just hope they do well, not only because they help us.

Leon is a bit strange lately. I mean, he really cares for Nancy and helps her in her paralyzed state, and he seems to like her very much, but I somehow get the feeling he is bugged by something, and he is trying to pick up as many girls on Curacao as possible, in a worrisome frequency. I had to cockblock him today, just to see the reaction, as I acted like we were a gay couple. It was so funny, and the poor guy was so mad at me, but it was a good story to tell.

I don't know. Something feels weird, and I can't tell what it is. I somehow feel like all the people around are still judging me for what I do, not caring about the intentions. A battleship? No! We really need to change it somehow, making it less battleship but more mobile home, like those Bustards. Leon told me about his plans to upgrade the Apahanta. I think he thinks that it's just that easy, but I doubt the APM designers made just a flawed, oh-so easy to upgrade ship design. Maren still judges me for my mission, as well as Leon does. It's just Nancy that shares my point of view, seeing there is so much we can do for people out there with the Apahanta. And if it's just one person I was able to help... then I helped one person. For now, it seems I helped Pimakhova, just because of the Apahanta. I hope there are more people just waiting for us to help them...

[Image: pda03_by_rhulaner-daaafoo.png]

**Sombs** · 07-25-2016, 06:47 AM,

These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

Log - Ezrael Vertiga

Today, Maren and me had just another day off. First some swimming in an indoor pool on Gran Canaria, then later the AFC event in Baffin. Like last time, it was with jump races. Very funny, and my god, dangerous concept, but obviously an attractive one, as people from all across Sirius stopped by. It was two races, and me in this new Montante was not able to compete. Wonder. The first jump led to Artois, somewhere in Gallia. Who would have known!? I'm just glad Maren and Thallia made it back in one piece. The same with the second race from Tau-39. Right, another system that nobody had on their charts. Bad luck, I guess, but it could have been worse.

Thallia got drunk as hell, and this time I didn't allow her to get to any party. I hope she isn't all too mad at me, but when we arrived at home, she fell asleep very quick, in our bed. I didn't want her to sleep alone in her room. She could have puked in sleep and choked on her own vomit. But in the end, everything was okay, more or less. I think Maren found it awkward. I mean, the bed is oversize and such, but as prude as she is, she just never was in bed with multiple people, not even in a non-sexual aspect.

After all, the AFC event was fun, and I'm glad everything went okay and that both Maren and also Thallia came by. Didn't see the doctor in a while, more or less. On my way home, when I traded the old Sternenstunde for the new Montante, I randomly saw Thallia in New London and we talked a bit on our way to Omega-49. She was busy in Omicron Delta, inspecting the new found nomad installation there. When the time has come, I need to inspect that installation as well, but better without Maren around. It's a shame I can't trust her when it comes to such things, but Valery would make her do things to hinder me. After all, she is a nomad and loyal to her own race, trying to do everything to make sure they aren't harmed. I don't really know what to think about it. It's somehow cool to have a nomad in our crew. A good one. I just hope I don't regret all this, but I have the feeling I will. A strong feeling.

Leon asked to leave the ship, to stay permanently on the Apahanta, as he told me he couldn't bear the thought of Nancy getting temporarily a nomad inside her body. He said he thinks I'm brainwashed, and Nancy as well, and he hates Maren for manipulating us, as he said. I get his arguments, and it must really look strange how we act now, but, my god, I'm clean, I'm not infected, I'm just a bit more mature. A little bit. And I'm in a serious relationship, of course that changed my behavior... and I miss the old days, to be honest. More day by day.

We have to take even more care for Nancy now. I told Leon he could stay on the Apahanta, as I really need him, not only as a mechanic, but also as a friend. While I really can feel the tension between him and Maren, it hurts me and annoys me to see this antagonism every day. I doubt it can be solved, and I have no motivation to solve it. I'm exhausted. Maybe it is the wine speaking out of me. I drank a bottle of those nice AFC imported wine. Sweet, just like I love it.

I invited Thallia to a dinner on Curacao this evening. I thought that was a nice idea, since we didn't talk very much in the recent days, as she was on her expedition. She missed all the fun we had on Curacao. The little girl. She looks so deplaced in space. A little combat dwarf, as we had a sparring session where she tried to bring me down. She did it once, tricking me when I helped her up. Dirty. I'll pay that back.

Miss Pimakhova... well, she was on the Hoffnungsschimmer for a few hours, sleeping, and then she disappeared to Gran Canaria before we had the chance of talking. Now we have a cargo bay filled with her smokes, and no Pimakhova. I'll send her a come tomorrow, after my date with Thallia. Just to be sure she is okay.

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