A very nice beginning to a story. I really liked the idea with the pictures, they add a lot of clarity to the story.
:)Pros: Very good overall. Nice description of places. (like the hangar or the lounge)
:(Cons: The green fonts are a bit hard to read. (maybe you should use this <strike>Test</strike> Test, and also this <strike>Test</strike> Test) Describe some of the responsibilities that August has after promotion.