-INCOMING TRANSMISSION-
src: Gunship Rubber Duck, cpt Jim Argyle
dst: Open trans, ref Bounty Hunters' Guild (BHG), public
enc: plain text
I'll cut right to the chase here. You saw my last official inquery, concerning the rules and regulations that ended up with me having my BHG gunboat turrets confiscated at gunpoint. At that point the only complaint was my weaponry, but you had no issues whatsoever with they ship they were mounted to - until today that is. Out of the goodness of my heart I assist the BHG and Liberty forces with a Lane Hacker problem, and the thanks I get is another demand at gunpoint: give up the ship or we hunt you to the end of the universe. Lovely, just lovely.
Once you abandoned this wreck and left it for the junkers - you gave up all claims to it, and I'm pretty sure Liberty law will back me up on that. Libery sure was willing to register the ship, and take my tax money. As you will be able to see below, there's not a whole lot of the ship, besides the pretty profile, that's actually of BHG origin. The whole gorram ship has been rebuilt from the wreck up, using third party components.
Now, I'm sick to death of the guild's harrassment, so fine: you win. You want it? You got it! However, you reimburse me every penny I spent on it. Actually, I'm in a good mood - you get options, free of charge:
Pay the bill, and I dump the ship at Manhattan, to be sold as scrap.
Recognise my right of ownership, and issue a "BHG permit" for my ship.
Bring it before the courts. That's the Liberty courts, as the ship was salvaged, repaired and registered in Liberty space.
Start shooting, and I'll have every last one of you arrested and shot under the Liberty Penal Code, Violent Crimes act, sections 3 and 4 - piracy and attempted murder. (I'll need to check up on the laws of the other houses, but I'm sure it's pretty much the same story everywhere except Omega-56.) ref Lib.Ref.881.7
Personal Extras:
Time and effort: 5,000,000
Death threats: 4,000,000 (two)
Rep adjustments replace confiscated weaponry: 800,000
Time wasted arguing: 0.2 (cents) TOTAL: 9,800,000.2 credits
Grand Total: 42,917,409.6
If you chose to buy this hunk of junk - I'll be more than happy to return you the money the shipyard pays me for the scrap value of the ship, whatever that comes to.
---Incoming Transmission---
--CommID: Smith & Wesson Attorneys at Law--
-Location: Houston, Texas-
You "found" it?
Laugh? We nearly brought a class-action law-suit for reckless use of a human brain!
Next thing you'll be saying you "found" an Assault Battlecruiser, you disingenuous moron.
Threaten our client with legal action again and we'll have you in the Huntsville faster than you can say "Please don't rape me, giant and unwashed shank-wielding cell-mate of mine."
"Goodness of your heart"? Sounds like vigilantism. Better get yourself a balaclava and a baseball bat then. The use of gunships for the purposes of privately contracted law enforcement is prohibited in Liberty last time we looked.
We will in turn be bringing legal action against you for criminal wasting of time and the use of outdated narratives in pointless and unnecessary legal communications.
Having said that, maybe we can locate an interested buyer, as that would avoid the unpleasant business of having to remove your charred corpse from the ship when we reclaim it.
...Incoming Transmission...
Source: Christopher Thorn, Junker
-Begin Transmission-
"Hahahaaaahaa... oh god, it hurts, dont make me laugh anymore 'smith and wesson'. He's right, you leave yer ship lyin in our scrap fields, and you're practically giving us the keys. Perhaps you boys should keep a closer eye on your pilots, perhaps give them some incentive to not lose your ships... perhaps become a little more competent. Well, that last one might be askin a bit much, I never knew bounty hunters to be the competent sort."
"Regardless, Mr. uh... 'Argyle'... here fails to mention even what kind of ship this is, much less what condition it's in, what it's actually worth, so on and so forth. I've made a lot of grey deals in my time, but I aint keen on givin money to someone 'less I know what my money's payin' fer, even when that someone's another Junker. Wouldnt be too smart of me regardless of the seller."
---Incoming Transmission---
--CommID: Smith & Wesson Attorneys at Law--
-Location: Houston, Texas-
Ugh. Homeless people do smell, don't you think?
The charming gent claiming to have found said ship (a gunship class assault vessel) is a freelance loud-mouth and serial whinger, Mr. Thorn. Which kind of makes him a little over-qualified to be categorised as a "Junker".
Interesting fact:
from an obsucre book on linguistics Wrote:Junker. (n) djun-kur. (vulgar) A halfwit known to perform salacious acts on the exhaust pipes of motor vehicles
-INCOMING TRANSMISSION-
src: Gunship Rubber Duck, cpt Jim Argyle
dst: Open trans, ref Bounty Hunters' Guild (BHG), public
enc: plain text
I didn't find it - the junkers found it; it's what they do. I wouldn't scoff at such a useful skill. I just bought it, legally, from them. The itemised billing will reveal the exact value of the hulk in every stage of development. Original purchase price at Beumont: 2.2 million credits for the wreckage of one Bottlenose gunship. Pretty much.
You have to admit that there's a difference between a Bottlenose and an assault battlecruiser. The Bottlenose is an old design, all but phased out and replaced by Orcas. It's hardly a rare ship, or something state of the art. How many Bottlenoses have gone missing in the past 50 years? Have you recovered every single wreck?
So please, enough with the insults and threats, bounty hunter. If you have a buyer, get on with it. If not, pick another of the three options. Don't waste more of my time and patience, please, especially not with any "legal action" counter threats, as we both know you don't have a leg to stand on.
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