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When it looked like he was going to try to pat her shoulder, her gaze grew momentarily alert and cold. When he withdrew his hand in time, however, there was a hint of relief and understanding in her gaze. She lowered her gaze to the coffee table for a moment, contemplating her future.
"I don't even know what to expect from the future, I'd like to feel useful first.", she replied, looking up from the floor, "I can't just sit on my lazy ass and do nothing.".
Her attention was drawn to the bag with new uniform Morreti had brought, "How does it actually look like?".
"Try it on, I'd like to see." He encouraged, concealing the fact that he had sized her up in their first two meetings. One of the perks of being able to focus absolutely and muster acute observation. The only problem was that he often didn't care enough about something to understand it. "I'll wait here, something about this view's always been captivating. Fact we built all that together." It was outright sentimental when he said it like that. The grace in how he walked impeded slightly by pain, but he stood in front of the glass and looked out regardless, making sure not to touch it. He was absolutely ensnared by watching life tick by from up here, to see every small piece doing something that contributed to a greater whole. Even if on an individual level these contributions could be considered pointless.
While the words and moment were with him, he decided to speak his mind. "All good things take time, Belle. Ramsey was worth it. You are too. Sometimes it's enough to just keep going. That's the achievement." Decades prior, Ramsey didn't exist. It was known by a different name then. When Morreti came into the picture as somebody of consequence, the idea of expanding the Fort with a common pool of resources was only just being tabled. It had several opponents and no ardent supporters. Nobody could see the value of raw accomplishment and collective spirit. To be one of its few supporters, sometimes in a manner that was close to violent, certainly felt rewarding now. Every new block that was built, every new shipment of volunteers, every production line and every chunk of rock carved away for life. It took years, but every small thing done to secure the future built here was worth it. That was the message he was trying to convey, that her current situation didn't define what she could become, and what she could accomplish given time and help.
His posture spoke volumes about how he was at peace with their mission. But since he had his back turned to her, she'd unfortunately have no way of telling what else was on his mind.
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Virginia opened bag and unpacked her folded uniform, which she examined for a moment to figure out how to put it on and what might go where. She was pleasantly surprised by the color scheme of her uniform, expecting something dark and plain from LFR. Placing the pieces of her uniform on the coffee table, she checked that she had everything and picked them up again, walking with them to the bedroom and with a slight hint of humor she said, "Give me an hour or two to change."
In the bedroom she stripped out of her brown Legion uniform with orange accessories into a white one with red accessories and stripes, and a red sash from her right shoulder crossing to the belt. She stood in front of the mirror and buttoned up her high collar, checking that everything was where it should be, pinning her LFR insignia to her arm patch and sliding her laser pistol into the holster on her left side. Along with still grooming her hair and combing it to her left, the whole dressing process took nearly twenty minutes.
She then walked back out into the living room with a slight smirk on her face, "Fits well and looks good, but the crew is going to have to put a lot of effort into cleaning the ship so I won't get dirty somewhere. Will the uniforms look like this for the midshipmen and crew members?".
He smiled when he saw her, appreciating the fact that the two meetings they had were enough to get her dimensions correct. But it was also clear that he found her appearance in that ensemble attractive, and in that regards his eyes betrayed him, despite nothing else revealing it. It wasn't that they wandered to look where not welcome, they remained fix in a position that didn't compromise her dignity, but the pupil response triggered itself nonetheless.
While answering her, he went over every element of the uniform, seeing if she'd put it on correctly. "No, the uniforms get darker the further away somebody is from elected positions that carry obligations. The more people you're trusted to represent, the more saturated and prominent the colors are. You don't need to worry about dirt and stains either, they're treated with a coating and use fabrics that repel water and muck." Evidently a significant degree of thought and experimentation went into how these uniforms were designed, but as soon as he had finished telling her all about that, he noticed that she'd not attached her sash the way it was intended.
If it was left as it currently was, it would crumple and steadily degrade with continued use. It was unbecoming for an officer of her station to be careless with her uniform, so he was instantly and visibly compelled to correct it, but restrained himself and asked first. "May I?" Taking a few steps closer but stopping short of being in her personal space, her answer deciding if he entered it or stepped away again.
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Virginia paused for a moment and considered her answer carefully, "Yes, but the hands will only be touching the uniform and not me.", she replied softly in her deeper voice. She spread her arms so he could adjust her sash more easily, but from her expression and look she was tense and alert.
She took a deep breath and watched intently as with the care of a pyrotechnician Morreti began to adjust her uniform, "However, there is one thing you should probably know about me. My previous superiors didn't know about it, but given the situation I'm in now, you should probably know.", she began to speak slowly, carefully considering each word, it was obviously not an easy subject, "It's... extremely personal, but it may affect my service.".
She paused for a moment as if considering how to put it, whether to start with some excuses or to drop it outright. At first, she was closer to the former option. In the end though, she never considered herself a very good speaker, so she decided to say it straight out, "I'm addicted to Cardamine. In a few years it will be ten years, I can't stop it and like a diabetic, I may find myself in a situation where my reasoning abilities are diminished. You should know that about someone in my position.".
It was extremely hard for her to admit it, but she also understood that with Xenos' conflict with Outcasts, this fact could be used against her if found later on.
Perhaps it would have proved uncomfortable, but her admission was met with silence. All Morreti seemed to do is carefully tend to her uniform. The sash seemed to have concealed clasps which fit to certain sections of the belt, this gave it the illusion of being tucked under the belt, but spared of all the creasing and compression that would cause. When he was finished, he took half a step back and made sure that when he needed to adjust the uniform that he was only pinching fabric and not touching her.
He'd obviously heard her, and used all this time to process it. Something was happening behind his perfectly calm and composed exterior, he couldn't have just thought nothing of that confession. But yet there he was, motionless except for breathing which betrayed him. It was clear he felt something in response to this, but he was totally restraining what the reaction was. Curiously, it wasn't anger or disgust.
"I understand." It was an answer, at long last. But it conveyed a mixture of things besides sincerity, pain and regret among them. "I wish I'd met you sooner." It was as if he considered this his fault, even if that were absurdly irrational. That somehow an arbitrary application of the fact that he'd met her too late to make a tangible difference was proof of abject failure. It was unclear if he was always like this when alone. But he might have taken things more personally than people realized, or expected him to. "You don't need to explain or say anything further." It was his way of indirectly telling her that if something were to happen, he'd take care of it. And it was also clear that the honesty was deeply appreciated.
Since it was also on his mind, he just went ahead and said it. "I'd hug you, if I could." Putting a joking spin on the fact that he obviously couldn't, since her inhibitions were quite obvious. But hopefully it would lighten the mood, if only slightly.
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Virginia rolled her eyes and sighed, "You don't have to sound so sad, I'm not dying, Morreti." A slight, if somewhat sad smile appeared on her face. It was extremely embarrassing and humiliating for her, but she decided not to let regret set in, since in her opinion - there were still far worse diagnoses than drug dependence, "Although, I'll have to find a way to stock up ahead of time. Just in case.". After all, in the end, she could only be angry at herself and her youthful indiscretion.
She watched patiently as he adjusted her uniform, then checked it, "Yes, it looks better this way. A different style than I was used to, it looks more... formal than my worn turtleneck and cargo pants. Totally not what I expected from an organization that prides itself on being as casual as possible.", she said with a smirk in her face.
She took a few steps around the living room and even did a little exercise - stretching her back, arms and legs, perhaps to figure out what the new uniform would and wouldn't allow her to do. There was a noticeable relief in her face since she told him about her addiction and perhaps her new uniform had lifted her spirits as well. After all, it meant something was happening and she was getting used to her new surroundings.
Since it sounded as if she was saying that more for herself than for him, he let it go. Ultimately, he didn't pity her, the situation of being caged whether chemically or socially was something that he could relate to. "I'll handle it." He offered immediately, which wasn't something to be taken lightly given the opinions of the people in this cause. There was a kind of rabid hatred towards the Outcasts and everything they stood for, cardamine included. And yet he was offering to handle the supply of it for her sake. Obviously he must have cared about her, to consistently put himself at risk like this.
"It's better if I do it, because it's less likely people will find out that it's for you. I'd also be able to conceal it better. Just let me know how much you need and how regularly you'll need it, and I'll do it." This was said in a way that implied he wasn't going to accept her trying to find riskier alternatives, simply for the sake of being able to do it on her own. And he asserted this like he always had, but with a more personal implication. "I take care of my own."
When the moment moved on to her uniform and her testing it out, he watched as she went through the motions to see what it could handle. "I wouldn't call us casual, decentralized to an extent that borders on anarchy, sure. But not casual." Truthfully, they did take their cause and ultimate mission seriously, it was all they had and obviously they refused to squander it. "You'll be able to do most things in it. Nothing heavy or inflexible to the design." Keeping the uniform simple was part of the reason why it looked nice. They weren't noisy or overly embellished, and this also meant less encumberance when moving around. It was as close as you could get to an ideal balance.
"I couldn't help but notice the guitar, do you play often?" It had been on his mind ever since he saw it, but there wasn't much of a reason to ask. Since changing subjects seemed appropriate in this situation, and beneficial to her mood, he decided to bring it up.
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Virginia blinked in surprise, but finally nodded her head in agreement. As much as she preferred to arrange these things herself, she couldn't deny that she felt like an elephant in the porcelain shop when Liberty underworld was concerned, "Liquid Drug if possible, I don't want to use those disgusting inhalers.". Something about loudly inhaling Cardamine struck her as disgusting and disgraceful, injecting it into her veins seemed much more elegant.
When Morreti asked her about the guitar, she stared at him in silence for a moment, wondering whether or not there was any point in denying it - but whatever, there was no questioning the guitar's ownership, so she nodded slightly, "Yes, I play it a little when I'm in the mood. Just a hobby.", she said in an apologetic tone.
Her acoustic guitar looked like it had been through something before - the paint was scuffed in a few places, with Houston bands' stickers in various places, and a few strings with glass colored beads hanging from the end of its neck. Clearly this guitar had carried her through life longer than her uniform.
Her preference for the liquid variety of the nod was simply nodded at, he didn't protest or question her choice. If anything, the fact she'd told him that this was better made things simpler for him to handle. He was happy to talk about this hobby she had, since music seemed to be something they had in common, even if they were entirely different people. "I sing, well, I try to anyway. Wanted to be a singer growing up, but my parents, if you can even call them that, had an entire script written out for what my life was supposed to be. And doing what I wanted wasn't part of it."
Since she had a fair share of inhibitions when it came to people, he was fairly hesitant in asking what he brought up next. "Maybe we can sit down sometime and share a few songs? Whenever you have time." The moment he'd asked, he expected she'd say no, so with that bit of mental preparation out of the way at least he wouldn't be disappointed. Though a part of him was hopeful, because at least he'd have something to do in his spare time.