"Internment"
Date Unknown, Time Unknown
Pvt. Kelly "Kels" Vaughan
15th Special Operations Regiment.
Unknown Location.
I do not know what day it is, I do not know what time it is, I do not even know what year it is. Truthfully what I know for certain these days does not amount to much.
I know I am in a cell, a small cramped and confined space that barely allows me room to lie down and do a push-up or any other form of basic excercise.
I know the guards in this prison are all Gallic. I assume Royal Intelligence, at least I know that the Agent who has haunted most of my nightmares ever since was Royal Intelligence. I do not know whether the guards that take me from my cell to him are also Royal Intelligence, Royal Police or Royal Marines, I do not get to see any uniforms to make a guess.
And I know they no longer have any use for me. Any secrets I'd might unlock already long spilled or expired to be of no value to the war back home. It explains why I haven't seen that Agent from Royal Intelligence so long.
Yet they keep me alive, they keep feeding me.
I have been waiting for the day they open my cell door and drag me out to line me up against a wall for execution for...
Surely, I've been here years but I do not know for certain.
Just like I don't know who or what my fellow inmates are or were. Any and all possibilities of contact have been eliminated, I tried speaking through the walls hoping there might be a fellow inmate on the either side I could talk to.
Silence was all I ever got back. My best guess is if I'm not in an isolated cell, that the walls have been soundproofed. Or perhaps there are no fellow inmates, perhaps they are keeping me in a prison where I am the sole prisoner.
All I know for certain is that I am alone, that my friends have probably written me off as dead, and there is nothing I can do to change that.
I am stuck here, forever, waiting for the day that cell door does open.
Waiting to die.
I do not know if they will keep me blindfolded for it or not. But I hope they don't, I want to smile at whoever it will be to pull that trigger.
Because death is a mercy compared to this monotonous routine, waiting and waiting for the three meals a day they serve, and then sleeping to repeat it all again.
"Transfer"
Date Unknown, Time Unknown
Pvt. Kelly "Kels" Vaughan
15th Special Operations Regiment.
Unknown Location.
The cycle starts once again.
I wish I had something to read. But my captors don't afford me the luxury of quality reading material. So, all I can do is drop to the floor and exercise in my cramped cell.
Up and down, I go, pushing the floor away from me before gravity carries me back down. The act has become so natural that my arms don't go weak on me until after a few hundred repetitions of the motion.
I wonder how I must look now compared to how I did before the war, but there's no mirror to see.
Even on the rare occasion when the guards take me out of my cell to cut my hair or trim my nails, they don't give me a mirror to see in.
I lose myself in the loop of the exercises I have been repeating since my imprisonment until the hatch in my door opens. Meal one of the day is served. A blob of jelly that, by some inconceivable odds, makes the gruel we were served on Leeds taste good.
It seems that a plastic spoon would be too much of a risk in the hands of a prisoner, so I have to hold the jelly in my hands while I eat. They won't even leave me with a tray, so I have to wash it down with water from the sink in my cell just so I can try to quell my upset stomach, which still has not learned to accept the jelly.
Back to my routine I go, out of fear of where my mind might wander were I to lie down.
It hurts to think of everyone, knowing I won't ever get to see them again. It's been so long, and their faces are blurry in my mind, and I'm not even sure I can remember the sounds of their voices correctly.
Rebecca, for whom so much is unsaid, I would give anything to hug her one more time and tell her that I love her.
I miss Jason, an excellent, quiet guy that the war turned into a killer. Someone who took pride in his long-range shots. Or Alex, the cheeky party boy with a knack for lobbing grenades to throw a squad into perfect chaos.
My childhood friends will never know what happened to me or ever get closure in knowing for sure that Gav' is dead. They'll never get to say goodbye.
The hatch on my door opens again. It isn't mealtime again, I thought. My suspicion is confirmed shortly after when the guard on the other side speaks. His voice is rough and modulated by his helmet. The tone he takes is a commanding one. There is no chance of even trying to build a rapport—a lesson I learned the hard way long ago.
"Hold your hands out through the hatch prisoner."
The same command as always when they're taking me out of my cell. But my nails and my hair don't need to be cut down. It can't be the Agent, indeed not after all this time.
Is today the day? Have they finally decided to remove the drain that keeping me alive puts on their resources?
I do as the guard says, and cuffs are placed around my wrists. There is a click as they are secured tightly. I'm eager to see if today is the day. I never once thought I might be excited to die, but if it means all this finally ends, I'll gladly follow through in the silence they always demand.
Even were I to resist, it would just mean multiple guards coming into my cell with stun batons anyway, rendering it a futile exercise anyhow.
I already know what will come next from the rough-voiced guard.
"Turn around and face the wall, prisoner."
It's always the same. These guards are sticklers for protocol. I can't say it hasn't been effective, as they've managed to keep me here the entire time. So I stand against the wall with my hands restrained by the cuffs.
"Open the cell door."
He calls over his radio, and I wait for the black bag to be tied over my head. Sure enough, it comes, followed by the headphones they put over my head to muffle my hearing, leaving me in silence.
After that, all I know is that there is a tight grip on my left arm as the guard steers me to wherever we are going. I have no control, so all I can do is wait.
Wait and see where it is they will take me to die.