Discussion: Story of Aidan Patrick

[DarkOddity]

The Story Of Aidan Patrick

Chapter 1: Exile
Jump To: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

Chapter 2: A New Beginning
Jump To: Part I

Update Blurbs:
(9/12/07) Chapter 2 part 1, "Take-Off" is now released.

Want to be in the story?
If you want your character to be in the story, just let me know. You can do that by either replying here, sending me a PM, or sending me an email at darkoddity@gmail.com.

I always want feedback!
Always! Feedback helps me make my story better, and it helps me with inspiration as well. Constructive criticism is the most welcome of all feedback. Anything I can do to make my writing better is what I want to know.

Open Discussion.
This topic is an open discussion on my story. Feel free to discuss anything that has to do with my story. Plot lines and anything else. I look forward to reading all input.

Thank you all and enjoy your read!

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[Tortured_Soul]

I like the story but there are a few things I would say: 1) I think you need to introduce some sort of ranking system into, or at least second names. With particular reference to the four primaries. 2) it feels a little rushed or cut back. Flesh it out a bit. I may just be reading it too fast though I'll play a part in it at some point, maybe not soon, I'm just fresh from my own story, I'll leave it to you to decide when you need my character. Otherwise I like it, I'll keep a weather eye for the additions.

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Initial Biography ; Running Story

[Death Shadow]

BTW 1 problem, in the first chapter your char's name is: Aiden Patrick
In the second chapter his name is: Aidan Patrick

[DarkOddity]

Feedback! Yay!:D

Tortured Soul:
I give all my characters last names, I just don't frequently use them. Especially since I'm very fickle about using the same first or last name twice.

Honestly there are really only two "primaries", Aidan Patrick and Isabel Lourdes. Other characters referenced so far (with exception to about 1 or 2 in the first chapter and all the "extras" in Chapter 2 (thus far)) were mentioned in reference to RP Characters that were here when I used to play around 9months ago.

I do apologize for the "rushed" feeling. I was trying to cover the 9 month gap as seamlessly as possible, explaining the characters absence from the space lanes of Sirius. Apparently I failed at this attempt lol.

Mista Shoultz:
Yeah, that is a typo I need to correct, not sure how it slipped by me. Thanks for the heads up.

Both of you please keep up the feedback, it rocks.:)


EDIT:
Mis-spelling of name in Chapter 1 is now corrected! Not really sure how it got misspelled. Oh well. LOL

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