Item the 1st: Welcomes! Bienvenidos! Wilkommen! Aloha!
Two new Pineals to shine, folk. A big Eris hoohaw to the [TAZ]Autonomous.Rex and the [TAZ]ChaoGirl!
Eris must dearly love these two, as She seems to be showing them Her special brand of Discordian Love. (They're both still bollixed as Thud trying to find the Secret Mysteree of the Double Bribe...)
If you see either of these "Chosen of Eris", please help 'em out. We need all the Podge we can get for the upcoming Zoner Council session.
..which brings us to Item the 2nd:
Give us your input here, so that I'll have a clue how the TAZ should vote. Should Jupiter Guild be allowed full voting rights? Should AW be limited to "protection" in Theta and 74 only? Should chocolate milk be allowed in Freeport Cafeterias?
Get out the Gold, augment your Ajnas, and send in your digital cards and letters. Let's show those Zoner Indies and ..ahem.. "sorta" Zoners what consensus really looks like.
Or not.. either way, I'll still look like an Old Fool, just as Eris planned.
A.Rex and Chaogirlie, once you have your flashies, drop by Baffin and I'll give 'em my Buttcheek Imprimature.
yes, yes, and.....no. I like chocolate...they can't have any.
For the first....JG are extremely neutral mercs....and...we...the zoners...build such wonderful weaponry....but, the point is, they are neutral....I don't see any problem with them making money.
the second....let the Asgard Warriors defend their own Zoners.
the rest of us can defend ourselves.
also.
I honestly think that mystery does not exist.
its all just a ruse.
a mean, painful ruse.
:nono:
Hello all, Millenia was enroute from Honshu to New Berlin when she was stopped by the abovenamed ship. The ship had the audacity to try to rob a TAZ ship. Luckily the lanes came back online in time for Millenia's timely escape. Below is a transcript of the event
Recommend to put this char in our most wanted criminals list (if theres ever one)
That "special" bounty you wanted was filled in New Tokyo tonight. "Bob Dole" was terminated, and his accomplice "Hyme" was also engaged, but docked with half his hull left.
They seemed quite confused, as if they didn't have a clue why I was huntin' em. Well, I don't really have a clue either, but the blood money'll be very nice, Squire.
Screenies forthcomin' in yer private box, sir. Thanks to you, a few trees will be planted in Gaia's name.
So the why did I bother to join a faction and why the TAZ?
It was not so much as me choosing them as them choosing me.
It's a long story over many parts, some of which are very boring. So there you go, you've got permission, to just skip these posts. I won't be offended.
I was asleep. Nothing new there. Suddenly I heard this banshee screeming Get up!
Before I could move, a cold jug of water was thrown over my body. Ive got work for you.
Now me and work dont get along to well. Id spent the last few months in Manhattan working on an illicit pineal relaxant which was going to make my fortune. I must have passed out after trying my latest brew. I wiped the water out of my eyes and looked up at this old crone nursing an apple.
I think youve got the wrong guy.
Maybe, but youll do. Dry yourself and follow me!
Grabbing a towel, I followed her outside, across the street and to an old rundown, antiques place.
Wait here! and with that she entered the shop.
After about a minute she came out with a cheap, bronze statue and tossed it at me. I instinctively caught it.
Id run if I were you. A broad toothless grin settled on her face.
The store keeper came out, angry and red-faced. Hey, bud what you think you're. I didnt wait for the rest of the outburst I started running. After about 5 blocks I eventually dodged into an alley and tried to catch my breath. The woman appeared next to me, calm and unruffled compared to my wheezing and gasping for breath.
What the hell did you do that for?
Just a little incentive to get you moving. And in any case I thought you might like a statue of me in my younger days. I looked down at the beautiful woman in the statue, still with apple in hand. It had an inscription under it.
E-R-I-&. The last letter was worn away.
So is that your name? What is the missing letter? N?
'Nope'
'C?' I said in my best smartass voice.
Yeah, you can call me Eric. She chuckle as if she was making some weird personal joke.
But Eric is a boys name
Well just call me Goddess.
Yeah right! Like Id really want to do that. I muttered, oozing sarcasm.
The sky blackened, her body glowed, she drew her self up, growing and expanding, now towering above me. She had transformed from a wizened old woman to a young Amazonian, who looked strong enough to snap me in two with a flick of her wrist.
Yeah right. Like you will do just that! she growled.
How do I know you're real anyway and that Im not just dreaming this. Unable to keep an edge of fear from my voice.
With that she punched me spark out. Thats how she chuckled. "Like I said I've got work for you."
continued from above. ** Stop reading here to guarantee you wont be bored **
When I came to Eric had returned to her previous form.
What is it that you want me to do?
Lets go for a walk. She turned to me and stared intently as if she was looking into the depths of my soul. Are you a big picture person or a detail person.
I puffed out my chest and pronounced, Just give me the big picture and Ill fill in the details.
Well I want you to tour the galaxy, converting the masses to my cause. Espousing that Chaos comes before all principles of order and entropy, it's neither a god nor a maggot, its idiotic desires encompass and define every possible choreography, all meaningless aethers and phlogistons: its masks are crystallizations of its own facelessness, like clouds. I want you
Erm I interrupted maybe you could stick to the detail for now and Ill sort of work out what we are doing later. What should I do first?
Oh steal that ship there. I realised that whilst we were walking wed managed to negotiate security and were on Manhattan landing strip.
But I cant even fly.
Always limiting yourself with your preconceptions, well need to change that.
After bumping into the docking ring, two heavy lifters and a Navy battleship on my way out of Manhattan I casually engaged cruise and tried to put some distance from the planet.
So how is this going to work? No one will listen to me.
There you go limiting yourself, if you dont judge yourself to have failed then you have not failed. Anyway I thought you said youd stick to the details for now
She handed me a card with a green, white and red flashing lights.
Luckily for you Im a Goddess and Im giving you 2 gifts which will allow you to walk the path to eternal success.
What like loads of money and all the women I want?
No these are much more useful. See this card? It shows what people think of you. Your job is to get it to all go green. Secondly, until I change my mind you cant actually die. If I see youre dead Ill just regenerate you where I saw you last. Any questions?
Loads. This card thingy. How do I make people like me? Money would be really useful for that.
Money just leads to jealousy and greed. The way to make people really like you is much more simple and fundamental than that. You kill people.
Eh? I misheard you. I thought you said you kill people.
I did. Try it out! See that ship over there it is a bounty hunter just go up to it and shoot, and dont go getting all moral on me, Ive chosen you for a reason.
So I shot the ship. And the lights moved a fraction. Adrenaline was coursing through me, so without prompting I shot another one and the lights moved in a different direction.
See not so difficult is it? she smiled. Be careful who you shoot or youll move the lights in the wrong way. You just shot a Xeno and no-one likes them, although I think they are cute.
So let me get this straight when I kill people, other people start to like me.
Yep, it is obvious really. If you killed all the people who hated you, the only people who would be left would be those that really liked you. Hence youd be really popular. Its a bit like evaporation.
But that is totally wrong! If you kill people then no-one likes you.
You really are slow, youve just seen for yourself. Killing the right people is the way to being the most popular person in the world. That reminds me of a student I had called Georgehe loved it when I told him that part. Anyway go make some money and Ill come back and give you more instructions.
How do I do that?
Go and losen up those stuck-up, orderly Bretonians. Try going on a holiday to Dublin.
... and with that Eric disappeared, just as I said
So after a couple months of aimlessly wandering around totally lost. I found my way to a seedy bar in the Cortez system. Id sort of forgotten why I was out here and what I was supposed to be doing. I think Id been at that particular bar 3 or 4 times as I weaved around from system to system.
I'd only enough money left for a glass of Spluttering Donkey, a beverage I wouldnt recommend as it tasted rather like it sounded. As I sat there wondering how Id get enough fuel to get anywhere else I saw this beautiful girl at the bar. She was gorgeous, long auburn hair, a twinkling smile, lilting voice and, rather strangely, an apple in her hand. I think I overheard her say her name was Molly, and she was from Dublin. Remembering what Eric had said I asked for directions.
Let me help you she said. Her eyes shone like stars, and with that proceeded to pour a drink over a burley miner who sat across the bar from her. My boyfriend here, pointing at me says the BMM are all sissies and Graves Station should be burnt down.
Then whispering to me said, If I were you Id start running again.
What the
The miner stood up (oops I thought he had been stood up already). He didnt look like he was going to discuss this rationally.
Dont worry, Ive made sure youve got the nav maps and fuel to get you there. She was laughed as I exited as quickly as I could. Look for Arranmore. Youll know what to do.
You know you've spent to long with the Goddess when you can't even remember your name, or your gender.
Mr Entropy is fine... but Dr would be the more accurate.
Well when I got to Arranmore, they UOG made me feel right at home. I never knew there were so many of them. They were sitting around drinking and singing and firing at rocks.
Seems my calling was to distribute the stuff they were refining there. It was good stuff. Funny thing is the more I spread it around the more people saw the Goddess. She must have had a hand in its manufacture as it has some effect on the Pineal. Apparently it makes it swell to 3 times its normal size whether you are a Molly or in the Bretonian Armed Forces. Shortly after my last drop to the Essex they started discussing what colour to repaint it. I think we were between turquoise and pink last I heard.
I would have loved to see a pink Battleship with a 100ft high turquoise apple on oneside and a pentagon on the other. Unfortunately I think all the officers were relieved of duty shortly afterwards.
Shame... but the Goddess has me working on other projects now.