*This is the private logs of Mark Locust. Normally only stored on a device he physically carries with him which is not connected to the net.*
7/30/2013 XX:XX:XX XX------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Must document.
Hands working.
Mouth not.
Write record.
Must sleep cannot sleep.
I want to drink.
I need to remember.
My head is painful.
I have done something bad. Is it?
I feel like I might die. Will I be killed?
Why? Why? Why?
One drink. See what happens.
The drink. The rest of having the drink. Allow mind to relax.
I must record what I am experiencing. To see if I am sane. Where to start?
Two days ago, I encountered it. I am somewhat afraid of it now. It talked to me. It did not speak, I am mistaken. They do not speak. I heard it. That much I know, I did hear it.
It expressed a desire not to destroy. I felt the desire to not destroy. I FELT its meaning. I could FEEL what it communicated. It cannot be fully explained by me. I do not know much of the creature, but I know I could feel what it said, almost like it was using words. Compared to what else has happened, this is benign.
I was not about to brave two dueling cruisers to get over to the thing for its bounty. I was not about to risk my life against the thing to take it in. I have heard little about them, but I hear they are deadly. I like living. I liked living. It was not trying to kill me, and I had heard it would try to kill me on sight. The Rogue cruiser fell eventually, and the LSF cruiser moved off, apparently not noticing the thing. The little one.
Myself and another freelancer remained. Curious, the both of us, we moved in to examine the little one. It was curious of us as well. We heard its messages, and replied to it to the best of our abilities. The curiosity keeping my “live and let live” mentality strong. It was difficult to understand, but it was generally peaceful and curious in return to our lack of hostility. What was I to do? It could speak, it was not the cosmic boogeyman I was told of. Is this thing to be destroyed because I do not understand?
I do not know how it communicated, but from here on, for now, I will say it spoke. The language is easier to use.
It wondered why, or perhaps how, humans kill other humans. This seemed to puzzle it. I felt confusion. The other freelancer focused on the typical reasons “greed, war, etc.” however I felt the real question it was asking. I feel that it was not fully looking for motivation, but rather how this is a physical possibility. To it, the act of killing other humans must have looked like a single man chopping off his own fingers. This is the sort of confusion I felt from it.
It then moved on to accusing the Order for the origins of conflict between our races. I am well enough read in many topics, having spent a great deal of time going through empty space moving trade goods. Reading was about all I could do, in addition to keeping a supply of cheap Liberty Ale on hand. I do not know of the Order and their involvement with the creatures. All I recall of importance is that the Order destroyed the flagship of Rheinland, sparking hostilities with Liberty and Rheinland. This part I did not understand at the time. My companion seemed to have knowledge of the events it spoke of, however . . . I do not know about him.
It offered us a meeting with a more powerful creature. What other human has had this offer? How could I resist the chance to make such a contact? I am surely insane, braving Gallians on my way out to Tau-37 to meet with a creature I can now only describe as possessing an incomprehensible, horrific degree of power. I risked life and limb to meet with a being I doubt mortal eyes have seen, and I also doubt mortal eyes should see. My companion was separated from me by a Gallian patrol. I have no idea what became of him.
When I finally arrived, I just knew where to go. I did not know of the location before, it was simply within me where I had to go. It appeared right before my eyes, from nothing. There is a haze over the whole encounter, it had a presence of undeniable power. I no longer can be certain that what I said to it was in fact my own words. The presence was so overwhelming, I might have just been doing as it wished. It FEELS like I was in control, but I do not know for certain. It also approved of my initial reaction of “live and let live.” I felt a truth in what I felt from it, a higher order of knowledge. It felt trustworthy, more so than anything else I have ever experienced.
I agreed to something following that. I am not completely sure what I have agreed to do in that small span. It asked me if I wished for change, and offered me some kind of opportunity. I agreed, however I myself do not fully know what I wish to change, how, or what that opportunity might become.
This is the part of the tale that cements these events as fact, and were it not for this I might have went and committed myself to an asylum. It gave me a part of itself. It is scaled, and I have one. I have touched the physical substance of the elder creature. I think it gave me memories from this contact. Memories of human, Order hostility, of its children murdered. I felt the callousness, the dullness of the Order men, without feeling, shredding apart the little ones. I heard the conversations about defeating a hostile alien force from the Order. I witnessed the death of one of these creatures, torn asunder by cannon fire. They mutilated it after it died. Right now, recounting the memories, still makes me ill. I am again sweating, and becoming frightened. I must take a rest again, before I can continue.
For recording purposes, it has taken me an hour to calm back down enough to continue. It was very significantly longer for the initial contact.
It left me with an order, or a suggestion? A favor being requested? I do not know. I do know that it wishes for me to see to the safety of its little ones. I have been promised expanded knowledge if I comply. I cannot say no. Its presence was too great to deny it. The promise of their knowledge is too great regardless. I agreed.
It took me a great time to recover from this contact. When I did recover, I returned to familiar Liberty space.
When I returned to Manhattan orbit, I again saw the same little one from earlier. I decided to approach.
We spoke. I heard it much more clearly.
It wished to do something, and requested I relax my mind. I struggled at first, but I could feel no ill intent from the creature. It felt like it meant me no harm.
I think it merged itself with me. It teleported me to some kind of world within my own mind, or its own mind. I do not truly know which. There was green grass, and a sweet, light breeze. While in this place I could hear it clearly. I could almost fully understand it. It told me that the old one would have killed me if it attempted this, that it was only possible because it was less powerful. That was about all it could tell me before things became strange.
Bizarre transformations of light and smoke. I am still overcome with awe from remembering. I met a being called Truth. It was cloaked in darkness and smoke.
I seek enlightenment. Enlightenment comes with patience. I will be patient.
This contact left me ill, however I feel this will not be a permanent issue.
7/30/2013 4:21:28 PM------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apparently there were nomads spread across the whole of NY. I return to NY and there are multiple nomad sightings. Possible coincidence, however I do not know if it is probable. None were taken down that I am aware. Madness swept over the people. It is interesting to be at relative peace, while they fear for their lives. I want to tell them to stand down, to simply see what happens, but to do so would put me at such great risk. They would not hear my words anyway.
I flew to the middle of the system, finding the space I had spoken with the little one the last time. Perhaps I imagined it, but I felt a sort of echo from the event. It is probably my imagination, but such things are possible. So close to the star at the heart of the system. It was warm there.
While stationary out there, I took stock of events as and came to conclusions as follows: I have made contact with advanced beings, and I apparently have their favor. While still a secret, I do not know how long that secret will stay hidden if these meetings continue. I understand that they will continue, so I must begin to consider precautions. I am in territory that is very hostile to them, which given the last statement that the meetings will continue, suggests I leave. I cannot expect them to work around my scheduling, as they are of alien minds. I must be patient.
These among other ideas which I feel better to not record were interrupted with a barely receivable incoming communication. I was instructed by an unknown female voice to head to Pittsburgh orbit within five minutes. I complied. Few people know me, and given that, it was likely minor artifact smuggling that a certain someone opened their mouth about my doing. Either that or something to do with my unique experiences as of late. I have dubbed her “Ms. Stranger” for now.
There was a standoff on the surface of Pittsburgh. We went to a bar out in the odd ends of Pittsburgh. I had no intention of following the stranger without any cause, however curiosity got me to cave and follow along. She ordered drinks for us, Liberty ale. That is all they had. Finished two of them before the meeting was over.
She said she was disappointed in me, I pressed the issue. Retrospect says this was just goading me into being interesting. She did speak something to that effect. She asked my qualifications without offering a job. I listed the usual criteria, with some additional snarking to match her slightly insulting demeanor.
She stabbed a knife into the table to make her point that I not speak with the authorities. She became more interested that I recognized she was actually practiced with her blade. There was little real personal conversation between us. She laughed a few times, otherwise she was aloof.
The most interesting part was that she had one of their scales. I assume she either hunts them, or works for them. She seemed to be conducting an interview, which means she is likely not out to hurt me, but I cannot be sure. If it were a gift like mine, I would not be alone. Promising.
Little more can be written. The meeting was important, however compared to my recent conversation partners, it was not a huge issue.
Things to do:
Obtain more secure communications equipment-Contact “V” to see if a purchase can be made.
Leave Liberty-Far too much risk, for them and myself.
Ms. Stranger-Keep an eye out for her. I will probably be seeing her again.
8/1/2013 11:45:10 AM------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have left Liberty space for now. I traversed the hostile Tau systems to return to Tau-37, the site of my contact with what I now have decided to call “The Great One”. I am not fond of these systems. Gallians are frequent and hostile. Their weaponry is far and away more dangerous than the scrub Rogues I had gotten used to dealing with.
It has been a few days since I have spotted one of them. The Nomads. Our name for them. I have not heard their name from them. I am perhaps able to think more clearly. Is it due to my lack of contact? Or has the gravity of the situation finally set in? I do not know.
I cried, remembering my childhood. My father would be profoundly disappointed in this path I am on. I would not blame him. I must be insane. Some of my previous writing deeply concerns me. Some newfound habits I have found I have disturb me.
I find that I am sometimes compelled to spend time out in space now. I think I may be looking for them. Other times it is simply to remove myself from other humans.
That there. I naturally wrote “humans” instead of “people.” This implies a disconnect, one I did not have prior to my contact. This concerns me, that I seek to move away from people. Is it because they are a threat to me, or I am a threat to them? This problem is worrisome. I find I have many questions like this now.
My writing regarding the most recent contact with one of them seems strange to me now.
“I seek enlightenment. Enlightenment comes with patience. I will be patient.”
I do not fully recall writing this. I think I may have said these exact same words in my dreamscape. These are not the ideas of a sane person. I still think I have an amazing opportunity, but I become less confident in the nature. I think horror would have been a correct response to the situation. Something is wrong with me.
8/1/2013 7:55:08 PM------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Terror. I have made a grave mistake. I do not know how long I have left, but the nomads are not friendly. I think the only reason I am still here is the skill of the little one that spoke to me this time. So different. So horribly different than the first one. I want the first little one back. The first gave me hope. The second offers me pain, death and frightful requests. I fear for myself. I fear for all who know me.
Physically, I now have difficulty blinking. I find myself constantly scanning rooms for them. I know they are too large, but still I fear that I might see one appear before me. It is like there is a wound in my brain, seeping pus into my skull. My behavior is erratic, very. To conceal this fact, on my way out I will carry a half-drank liquor bottle with me. I may or may not be drinking the other half as I write this. Being drunk will lower my chances of meaningful action. Do not get drunk. Need hands for what may be to come.
I secured my sidearm on my person for the purpose of shooting myself in the event it is needed. I do not know how soon that will be. I suspect it is a question of when, not if. If they come back, it is evident that I have no recourse to fight them mentally or physically. The evil one entered my mind without any assistance from myself. There is only one escape.
They find me, or else I am drawn to them. I was partially aware of another “human” presence in the vicinity of me while this happened. The person offered encouragement to it. I now have reason to suspect that they indeed have human agents, and Ms. Stranger was either this person, or a different person. Also, Outcast capital ships were spotted close to them, with no hostilities for an extended period of time. Do the Outcasts work for them? They are greater in scope that I could have imagined. There is only one escape.
My only wish now is to warn my friend about them. She would be easier prey than me. I can protect her. Protect her with knowledge. I possess unique truth of the Nomads. She is difficult to reach, I can reach her I think. I liked her. It fills me with rage to lose this opportunity to know such a person. I wish to see her safe from what has befallen me. Must try to stay my last meaningful action until I can give my message. If she alone benefits from my pain, I can carry out my final act without as much hesitation.
I have not considered much of the scale. It may be how they seem to retain a loose contact with me. I cannot simply throw it in the garbage. I cannot assume it is inert. It would be wrong to risk others to get rid of it. I think I may fly into a star if the opportunity presents itself. It will remain in its box until then. I must not touch it. I must not look at it. I should avoid touching or looking at the box.
8/4/2013 10:36:28 PM------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things happened.
Pulled "V" into this insanity. Must retain myself now to preserve "V." If she were not threatened, I still would intend to kill myself. Ms. Stranger arrived with a white snake, and introduced herself as Rachel. She had a sister or something along with her to collect myself and "V." First learned she can cut bullets in half without moving. I hate my life. I know little of the second woman other than she looks like Rachel.
That concludes late logging.
Well. Blew up a space station today. With a backpack full of bombs. Shot people. No idea how many I killed, if I killed. Surreal. Completely surreal. I hope this is an artifact of madness. Nothing about it seemed real. I currently suspect that this was a simulator. “V” thinks she killed someone too. I feel terrible for her. Worst part of the day, possibly my life. Seeing her face.
Important note. Rachel, Ms. Stranger, may need to be killed. She seems to be their prime human agent to deal with us. Her death may give us room to find a way out.
Assuming anything there was real, or based on reality. Rachel is terrible. Morally she justified herself as “Humans are the bad guys.” She keeps a strong, calm face but I think there is a terrible madness beneath it. She has displayed an extreme capacity for violence, acting with superhuman speed and accuracy with a pistol. She carried a grenade with her. She did not seem to be concerned by weapons fire, as she can deflect bullets. However she was aloof even before her superpowers seemed to take effect. This seems to be connected to some object she keeps in her pocket. I have seen her do this trick a few times now, and each time she must fiddle around with some object she keeps in one of her pockets.
This time she exhausted herself by taking on a horde of men. If this is actually true, great potential to kill her during this time. She was unable to move even.
I must acquire weaponry such that I might be able to kill her. Perhaps her blocking ability would fail against explosives. Knife fighting, melee combat in general, is not advised. She is stronger than she looks, I have seen her drive a knife into a surface. Her melee prowess is seen under events that the reality of which is not questioned. Same for her ability to deflect solid projectile. I prefer slug based weaponry, and she has displayed the ability to literally cut bullets in half without seeming to move. In the “simulation” she did this against multiple attackers. The extent of her protection is currently unknown.