@Comms Open
@From: Captain "Cabover Pete"
@To: IND
@Attn: The Guvnor (or whoever's in charge)
(Audio only. The voice of a fat man with an accent not quite New London and not quite Dublin, but something in between): "Hello? *foof foof* Is this thing on?"
(Tinny voice): "Are you sure you don't want video? It is customary, not to mention more polite."
(Fat man): "Shut up, robot head. I don't want these guys to see me in this state."
(Tinny voice): "Alright, alright. Recording."
(Fat man):
Hello IND. It's Cabover Pete here, and I hope you remember me as one of your previous members. Happier times, huh? Anyway. See this large thing between my legs? It's a tail. As in, I'm presenting myself with my tail between legs.
Here's the thing. A lot has transpired since I... went off on my own. Not all of it good. None of it, in fact. I'm up the old excrement watercourse, you might say. Now I'm not much on begging so I'll make this short:
Can I have back in? Ah go on, please.
Look, I don't want for much. I'm not asking for money or a ship. It wouldn't be the first time I started with the arse out of my breeks, by Goddess. All I ask is a couple of good trade routes, a few worthy coves to fly with, and a sleazy dive to share some laughs and something stronger. Some decent pork products wouldn't go astray either, and if I never see a lump of Junyo-soy bacon-substitute again it'll be too soon.
:::Encryption High:::
:::Recipient: Pete:::
:::Subject: Off your arse:::
Well Pete, been a long while, heard you were dead, or at least trying to grow a moustache.
You know how these rumours spread.
Things have moved on quite considerably since you last did an honest days work in our colours,
so you will have to consider starting right at the bottom this time round.
I have sent you a communication through the irregular channel, read it, weep and get back to me.
Probably the best idea for future contract negotiations would be to turn on your s.k.y.p.3. device, I still have your details logged.
In the meantime, clean up your act, this is a very respectable institution you are dealing with.
Jay
Some say he is a proud member of: "The most paranoid group of people in the Community."