My excuse is that the giant bio-mechanical space vultures that circle in my head keep telling me that this is the best place to find victims. I've been around long enough to give off an air of sane veteran credibility that only pretends to be twisted, & that'll work in my favor if the FBI ever come knocking at my door
"Giant bio-mecanical space vultures that can talk? I'm sorry Agent So & So. Everybody knows that giant bio-mechanical space vultures don't speak any Earth based language. English included, & I can prove in court that English is the only language I'm fluent in."