Now we're flying our Salvager out of the Texas jump hole into Penn, looking for a Junker supply ship that was in the area. I order a search pattern starting on a heading toward the Junker base Allentown. There were BHG, LR, and a Xeno ship in the system, and I figure the supply ship could use a friendly escort back to Puerto Rico.
Well, we didn't get far before I crossed paths with the Xeno. We've got our guns on, but the guy is in a bomber and I ain't no fighter. Not against a pro. Now, I hope that we can talk our way out of trouble and my crew knows they need to play along, but I never expected I could get him to leave us be with a cookie we found under the fridge.
The following is the recorded log. Names have been removed and replaced with generics, and cross traffic chatter erased for readability. Other than this, it is the actual encounter as recorded:
[31.07.2014 00:48:05] Xeno Bomber: Here we go!
[31.07.2014 00:48:19] Xeno Bomber: You sir.
[31.07.2014 00:48:23] Xeno Bomber: Will stop.
[31.07.2014 00:48:33] Xeno Bomber: Damn, you listened.
[31.07.2014 00:48:38] Xeno Bomber: *space five*
[31.07.2014 00:48:48] Xeno Bomber: Nothing interesting in your cargo.
[31.07.2014 00:48:59] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: I know. Benefits of running empty
[31.07.2014 00:49:00] Xeno Bomber: *he scratches his head*
[31.07.2014 00:49:20] Xeno Bomber: Hmmm.
[31.07.2014 00:49:26] Xeno Bomber: Drop your pants and eject them.
[31.07.2014 00:49:33] Xeno Bomber: They are made in Kusari!
[31.07.2014 00:49:38] Xeno Bomber: What's wrong with you!
[31.07.2014 00:49:44] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: Uh. I'm not wearing pants
[31.07.2014 00:49:48] Xeno Bomber: Holy!
[31.07.2014 00:49:53] Xeno Bomber: Your legs must be very hairy!
[31.07.2014 00:49:57] Xeno Bomber: *he looks closely*
[31.07.2014 00:50:10] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: yes they are. This is currently a party boat. No pants allowed
[31.07.2014 00:50:19] Xeno Bomber: Can I join?
[31.07.2014 00:50:28] Xeno Bomber: I forgot my pants on base.
[31.07.2014 00:50:41] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: *cranks up music and broadcasts*
[31.07.2014 00:51:17] Xeno Bomber: So...anything else I can have?
[31.07.2014 00:51:22] Xeno Bomber: What else is foreign?
[31.07.2014 00:51:27] Xeno Bomber: What about your shirt?
[31.07.2014 00:51:37] Xeno Bomber: Zoners forever!
[31.07.2014 00:51:41] Xeno Bomber: *dances*
[31.07.2014 00:51:45] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: Mmmm. Nope. Nothing foreign here.
[31.07.2014 00:51:50] Xeno Bomber: Damn.
[31.07.2014 00:51:52] Xeno Bomber: Food?
[31.07.2014 00:51:57] Xeno Bomber: Can I have some food?
[31.07.2014 00:52:02] Xeno Bomber: I forgot breakfast
[31.07.2014 00:52:09] Xeno Bomber: Mind as well eat some brunch.
[31.07.2014 00:52:25] Xeno Bomber: What about cookies?
[31.07.2014 00:52:26] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: Ummm.... we kinda got the munchies during the last jump. My stupid crew ate all the food.
[31.07.2014 00:52:28] Xeno Bomber: Any cookies?
[31.07.2014 00:52:33] Xeno Bomber: Damn.
[31.07.2014 00:52:41] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: hang on. let me look around.
[31.07.2014 00:52:53] Xeno Bomber: Score! *he says silently*
[31.07.2014 00:52:55] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: *sounds of rummaging*
[31.07.2014 00:53:53] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: First Officer: "Sir, I found something under the fridge! Dammit, the Engineer ate it! Sickbay, come in!"
[31.07.2014 00:54:09] Xeno Bomber: Doesn't sound good.
[31.07.2014 00:54:17] Xeno Bomber: *he looks worried*
[31.07.2014 00:54:25] Xeno Bomber: *Not only because he has no pants*
[31.07.2014 00:54:32] Xeno Bomber: *And he is starving*
[31.07.2014 00:54:53] BGH Ship:Captain: Good, one ugly Xeno.
[31.07.2014 00:55:04] Xeno Bomber: What's so good about that?
[31.07.2014 00:55:16] BGH Ship:Captain: Good for me.
[31.07.2014 00:55:19] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: *sounds of screaming* Somethings loose! It burst out of the Engineer's chest!
[31.07.2014 00:55:19] Xeno Bomber: How?
[31.07.2014 00:55:25] BGH Ship:Captain: Not so good for you.
[31.07.2014 00:55:38] Xeno Bomber: Calm your brains, hot shot.
[31.07.2014 00:55:39] Xeno Bomber: I'm busy.
[31.07.2014 00:55:56] BGH Ship:Captain: You got alien problems Junker?
[31.07.2014 00:56:00] Xeno Bomber: Can you not see me talking with this kind sir who is going to give me food?
[31.07.2014 00:56:22] Xeno Bomber: Hey shut up, Bunter. Let the elders talk. Playground is that way.
[31.07.2014 00:56:33] BGH Ship:Captain: Now there, no need to be rude.
[31.07.2014 00:56:39] Xeno Bomber: Exactly.
[31.07.2014 00:56:40] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: Hines: Yeah, the engineer ate something from under the fridge. The stupid thing hatched! We're hunting it down.
[31.07.2014 00:56:49] Xeno Bomber: Ok, I'll wait.
[31.07.2014 00:56:53] Xeno Bomber: *his stomach growls*
[31.07.2014 00:57:14] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: *sounds of crewmen hitting deckplates with shoes.*
[31.07.2014 00:57:24] Xeno Bomber: That's one party.
[31.07.2014 00:57:38] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: Hines: Tell me about it. Happens every time.
[31.07.2014 00:57:39] BGH Ship:Captain: While they solve their "problem" Xeno, how about i shoot you down and get paid for doing that?
[31.07.2014 00:57:39] Xeno Bomber: So, Bunter. How is your day?
[31.07.2014 00:57:48] BGH Ship:Captain: Bad, and im busy too.
[31.07.2014 00:57:57] Xeno Bomber: Geez man, be calm, harness that anger.
[31.07.2014 00:58:03] Xeno Bomber: Meditate. Kusarians say it's good.
[31.07.2014 00:58:44] BGH Ship:Captain: Damn those Kusarians.
[31.07.2014 00:58:54] Xeno Bomber: I know right.
[31.07.2014 00:59:01] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: Hines: Okay, Xeno. We contained the cookie monster. Ejecting it for your dinner now. *ejects cookie monster"
[31.07.2014 00:59:07] Xeno Bomber: YES!
[31.07.2014 00:59:18] Xeno Bomber: Wooo!
[31.07.2014 00:59:22] Xeno Bomber: *tractors*
[31.07.2014 00:59:34] BGH Ship:Captain: And he will eat that thing?
[31.07.2014 00:59:39] Xeno Bomber: Uhh, duh.
[31.07.2014 00:59:42] Xeno Bomber: It's food.
[31.07.2014 01:00:08] Xeno Bomber: *he looks with 1 eye closed at the cookie monster* Uhhh..does all your food have eyes?
[31.07.2014 01:00:34] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: *Music blaring* Hines: Well, it did come from under the fridge.
[31.07.2014 01:00:48] Xeno Bomber: I see.
[31.07.2014 01:00:50] Xeno Bomber: Oh well.
[31.07.2014 01:00:52] Xeno Bomber: *eats*
[31.07.2014 01:00:59] Xeno Bomber: Want some, Hunter?
[31.07.2014 01:01:01] BGH Ship:Captain: Gross.
[31.07.2014 01:01:09] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: Crew: "Ruuuuuun! He ate the cookie!"
[31.07.2014 01:01:15] Xeno Bomber: Alright fine, a simple no would of been fine.
[31.07.2014 01:01:29] Xeno Bomber: It tastes a little different.
[31.07.2014 01:01:39] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: *sounds of panic and calling out to mommy*
[31.07.2014 01:01:45] BGH Ship:Captain: Different from what? other bugs you eat?
[31.07.2014 01:01:50] Xeno Bomber: Yes.
[31.07.2014 01:01:55] Xeno Bomber: *claps*
[31.07.2014 01:02:12] Xeno Bomber: You sir, know all about your targets.
[31.07.2014 01:02:18] Xeno Bomber: Surprise! I'm a bug eater!
[31.07.2014 01:02:28] BGH Ship:Captain: Right. Sure you are.
[31.07.2014 01:02:28] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: Hines: Shut up, crewers! At least its off the ship! Dancing shall now resume! *Music starts back up*
[31.07.2014 01:02:41] Xeno Bomber: Wait, take me with you!
[31.07.2014 01:02:43] BGH Ship:Captain: Those are some happy junkers.
[31.07.2014 01:02:43] Xeno Bomber: I wanna dance.
[31.07.2014 01:02:55] Xeno Bomber: Ya, and you are one grumpy cat.
[31.07.2014 01:03:14] BGH Ship:Captain: Yeah, sure, whatever.
[31.07.2014 01:03:19] Xeno Bomber: See.
[31.07.2014 01:03:31] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: Okay. I'd better get moving before the Engineer eats something from under the reactor.
[31.07.2014 01:03:38] Xeno Bomber: Can I come?
[31.07.2014 01:03:44] BGH Ship:Captain: No you can't.
[31.07.2014 01:03:49] Xeno Bomber: Screw Xenos. You have better food.
[31.07.2014 01:03:52] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: Have a good day, gents.
[31.07.2014 01:03:54] BGH Ship:Captain: I got plans for you.
[31.07.2014 01:04:04] BGH Ship:Captain: *waves* see you Junker.
[31.07.2014 01:04:05] Xeno Bomber: Weeeee.
[31.07.2014 01:04:10] .:j:.The.Ugly.Boat: *waves back*