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Comm ID: Tal "Underscore" Ravis
Location: Gas Miner Naha, Sigma 13
Encryption: Pretty High
Priority: High
Subj: The Big Plan
Remember that time I told you I had some big plans? Well, I figured you wanted to know more, so I drew up a little diagram for you so you can understand what I'm getting at.
+ =
I think you get the idea. I'm willing to pay good money for a red light fighter engine, more specifically the aftermarket turbo one, not the cheap stock one. Let me know if you're interested. It's absolutely pivotal that I get my hands on one of these.
Diagram sure cleared things up for me. Now I know EXACTLY what you want! Though I'm not sure how I can help you with that, I'm no engineer, nor do I deal with engines. Though I've noticed certain groups use engines that fit your strict criteria.
I think the Corsairs were one of those. Yeah, they were definitely one of those groups! Alternatively you can try and find the Core or the Order and ask them instead as they also seem to follow your preferences in their engine designs. If there's anything else I can help with, I'm listening.
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Comm ID: Tal "Underscore" Ravis
Location: Gas Miner Naha, Sigma 13
Encryption: Pretty High
Priority: High
Subj: RE: RE: The Big Plan
Well, thanks to you and your guiding light, I managed to get me one of these red engines. Check it out.
I took the ol' Scimitar for a spin after I got it installed, and I gotta say, the difference between it and the stock engine is pretty noticeable. I've taken the liberty of making two graphs so that you can understand where I'm coming from here.
SPEED
As you can see, the white stock engine (pictured as a wide white bar) has the same overall top speed and acceleration as the 12 million credit aftermarket red one (pictured as a wide red bar, to the right of the wide white bar that represents the white stock engine-you following?). However, further tests and evaluation showed a shocking discrepancy between that of Mister Red and Mister Stock:
SWAG
Since you probably aren't blind and can read graphs, I'm just gonna let you interpret this one for yourself. I didn't expect results like this, and I'm sure you didn't either, right? Right.
Thanks again, pal. I'm off to go cruise around Sirius while simultaneously waving my 12 million credit engine in other (less cool) people's faces.
Wow. 10 out of 10. You're simultaneously hotter than Omega-11's red giant and cooler than Omega-52's ice asteroids. Well done! I'd send you a picture of me holding a thumb up, but my camera's broken from all the things that shot me today.
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Comm ID: Tal "Underscore" Ravis
Location: Fishing on Tomioka
Encryption: Pretty High
Priority: High
Subj: The Big Plan 2
So, my experiences on Tomioka in the last few days have made me realize something. You know how I'm always starving because I blow my paychecks on useless stuff like Jackdaws and fancy navigation lights? Well, I figured that I can use all of this old military gear and guns and stuff to get a more steady source of food. See, since I have guns and the rich traders in their unarmored, freighter-shield transports don't, I can disable their ship and board them so I can ask them for food or money for food. Either one is good, really.
Now, you might be thinking, why didn't I think about this earlier? Well, to be honest, I have no idea.
Anyways, here's a diagram that details the equipment that I'll be bringing with me to ask people for money.
See, if I look like this, nobody will refuse to pay me! Isn't this a great followup to the big plan?
I think you might be onto something there. I mean if you simply asked for money from space, with your ship's guns pointed at the transports that would be classified as piracy and possibly ruin your reputation. But if you board them and take the money and/or food yourself it may be argued that it's not really piracy, but you should probably call a lawyer from Interspace Commerce just to be in the safe.
Also what's with the "Baby Detector"? Are you gonna be after baby food? I mean what purpose does it serve in your grand plan? Or is it just there to be eye candy? Other than that the plan is pretty solid, can't wait to see how it all turns out. Hopefully nothing will backfire like last time with the Swagger Engine.
Just had a wild idea - you should add a pointy-stabby, I mean a bayonet! You'll be at least 10% more convincing with one of those. Especially if you yell "OR I'M GOING TO STAB YOUR EYE OUT!" as you try to take their money and/or food. Anyways, that is all I got for now, catch you later.
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Comm ID: Tal "Underscore" Ravis
Location: Somewhere in America
Encryption: Pretty High
Priority: High
Subj: The Big Plan 2: 2
I figured you'd like the plan, and I took your advice and called a lawyer. He uh, told me that Big Plan 2 is indeed piracy, and that if I didn't get out of his office, he'd call the police on me.
Anyways, I came up with a better plan. I call it: The Big Plan 2: 2.
Featuring less law breaking, because I ain't about that life, fam.
Now, I'll just sit around the Freeport and beg for money. No shooting, no threatening at gunpoint, just fake tears and puppy dog eyes. This way, nobody'll say no and I'll be guilt-tripping my way to a gold-plated flight stick in no time.
As for the gun and the getup, I'll just carry and wear it while begging anyways because the full set gives me +10 Swagger and I already paid good money for it some 7 years ago, so I'm just getting my return on investment.
In The Big Plan 2: 2, the baby detector is useful in that I can use it to–wait for it–detect babies. This way, if there are indeed small children onboard and their little bumper sticker isn't lying, I can keep it down when I beg them so I don't accidentally wake up the children. See, I'm thinkin' about the chilluns. Aren't I a great guy?
As for your last suggestion, why? What purpose would a high-powered assault bayonet serve other than to kill people? You're a real silly goose sometimes.
I think that Emma Toyota chick still owes me like, a meal or something, so I'm gonna go send her the tab now. Steak and lobster doesn't pay for itself, you know?
Eating from Enma's wallet and not calling me to join in on the free food? That's really mean of you, Tal, I thought we were friends. Seriously, I haven't felt this backstabbed since that time I literally got shot in the back in New York by that Liberty Navy officer without him saying a single word because I was obviously red on his HUD. And even then that felt more right than what you did, because Liberty Navy shooting us Maltese is the natural order of things, right? Right.
You better hope I don't see you anytime soon as I'm really pissed off right now about what you did.
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Comm ID: Tal "Underscore" Ravis
Location: Somewhere in America
Encryption: Pretty High
Priority: High
Subj: RE: RE: The Big Plan 2: 2
Wait, what? How did you find out about that?
I mean, uh, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. We can use the money that Toyota gave me to go out and eat dinner together.
But not like, together, you know?
I even still have some leftover takeout, if you want it. We (just you, actually, I'll just use Ebola's money to pay for it) could even go on a cruise or something expensive. Yeah. Just don't shoot me, please. I'm too young to die.
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