To: Emma Toyota? Emily Paella? "Enma Loyala"? Loyola? Whatever.

[t0l]

>>>INCOMING TEXT TRANSMISSION<<<

Comm ID: Tal "Underscore" Ravis
Location: Running Through the Six
Encryption: Pretty High
Priority: High
Subj: A Bill

Hi there, Miss Cupola.

Remember that time my engine died outside of the Freeport and you and that Valdez chick tried really hard to help me get back to the Freeport, but it turned out that the only thing that could save me was my quick-thinking and MacGyver-tier innovation? Yeah, I do too. That was a great triumph for Tal-kind.

Anyways, when we all docked on the Freeport, we agreed in system comms that you were gonna pay for our group dinner. Valdez and I just recently went out and found a great restaurant on the Freeport, one that hadn't been blown up, and we had dinner together, all thanks to you.

Well, we didn't actually have dinner together because I don't want to be associated with people like her, but, you know what I mean. We told them that you were gonna foot the bill, so they just put it on your tab or whatever the hell the guy said.

Here's a picture of the bill, so you don't get surprised when you see it pop up in your monthly debt logs or whatever people with money call that crap.

You might be wondering why we ordered so much food, but uh, it was so that I'd be stocked up on free food for the rest of the week in honor of you, who wasn't there for our reunion. I just uh, ended up taking it all to-go with me. Don't wanna let the food go to waste, yeah? Yeah. Definitely.

Thanks again!

>>>END TEXT TRANSMISSION<<<

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[Shiki]

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Incoming Transmission

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» COMM-ID: Enma Loyola
» ENCRYPTION: High.
» LOCATION: Planet Malta.
» SUBJECT: RE: A Bill

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»INITIALIZING MESSAGE«

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Good day, Tal.

Enma of the Loyola family speaking. Of course I do remember my promise, I will send credits to your neural net account shortly. I hope this Charity Event will help to fix demographic problem of the Maltese people. We all know what is supposed to happen after the dinner in a good restaurant. I am pretty sure that your genetic material will enrich Maltese gene pool. And this is another step to enhance the natural growth of the population of Malta.


Yet I hope I will receive a good news about new child born from the new happy Maltese mother soon. Eliza is the great person, I hope you have notice this already. I will be honest, you always looked like a good couple to me and now I'm happy that my observations were right.


In the meantime I'm transfer your payment now. In the case if you will need the financial support to have a dinner with another Maltese woman let us know, we will found your efforts with credits. Contact me in any time.

Yours faithfully,_______

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[[END TRANSMISSION]]

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[t0l]

>>>INCOMING TEXT TRANSMISSION<<<

Comm ID: Tal "Underscore" Ravis
Location: Running Through the Six
Encryption: Pretty High
Priority: High
Subj: RE: RE: A Bill

Hold on, Miss Ebola, I think there's been a big misunderstanding here. I didn't actually—wait, yeah, I did. We did the thing with the pregnancy and the Bill Clinton and all that jazz. Definitely. Sure thing. You should've been there. It was a great experience, only slightly below "sitting on Nauru for six months" on the fun scale.

On another note, I'm glad that Malta has been saved, all because of me. It was all just me, by the way. All of it. I did it. Aren't I a useful person? You should build a statue or a plaque or something cool in my honor or something. That'd be hella stella'.

Anyways, uh, I'm gonna need some more funding right now for uh, fuel. Yeah. I can't spread my genes through Maltese space if I can't fly around and meet new space women, right? Right. So, if you'll kindly send some more funds to support me and my quest to, ahem, "repopulate Malta", I'd appreciate it.

Thanks much. I'm off to go vomit now, because of uh, some bad food I just ate. Yeah, that.

>>>END TEXT TRANSMISSION<<<

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[Shiki]

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Incoming Transmission

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» COMM-ID: Enma Loyola
» ENCRYPTION: High.
» LOCATION: Planet Malta.
» SUBJECT: RE:RE:RE: A Bill

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»INITIALIZING MESSAGE«

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Mr. Ravis.

I'm glad that you are open for the future cooperation with our foundation. However things are getting a bit complicated in a close perspective.


1) Current Maltese Government does not recognize any charity organisations. So I'm afraid that you are have to pay taxes starting from the second payment. Currently for this kind of profit this will be 64% of the whole sum. Plus I would like to remind that you will have to accept Maltese citizenship or make a single payment of 200 million credits as the foreign businessman.


2) You have to use Cardamine on the daily basis, but don't worry about it a lot, we will send first doses for free.


3) We will need quality video reports of the any single act that you are making with Maltese woman. Audion logs of every conversation also would be appreciated.


4) You will have to take care of any child that will be born after those dinners.


5) Last, but not least we need the bill scans similar that you sent to us already.


Thanks for your attention. If you have any questions I will be pleased to answer.

Yours faithfully,_______

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[[END TRANSMISSION]]

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[t0l]

>>>INCOMING TEXT TRANSMISSION<<<

Comm ID: Tal "Underscore" Ravis
Location: Running Through the Six
Encryption: Pretty High
Priority: High
Subj: RE: RE: RE: RE: A Bill

Uh, alright, Miss Cola, I've got just a few questions.

1) How exactly do I accept Maltese citizenship? Do I fill out some forms, undergo a gruesome rite of passage, what are we talking about here?

2) Am I allowed to take a Cardamine substitute? Does registering as a foreign businessman exempt me from this rule?

3) How "quality" of a video are we talking here? Will you front the costs for a camera?

4) How much will I get paid, anyways?

Hope these are reasonable questions.

>>>END TEXT TRANSMISSION<<<

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