I wish I could answer that question, I really do. There are reasons, true. Then there's simply the thrill of it. Obviously I don't quite enjoy the idea of being chased by The Sentinels judging by the fuss I sometimes make about it, or the fact that I wasn't really in the best of moods. Sometimes I think about just not continuing at all. Dropping it all, returning to a normal life - as normal as it gets for me, I suppose. Being the "average Joe" suits me better than being "The Schemer".
But since you said that the solution to your illness is on the other side of that Anomaly...well. I suppose there isn't much stopping now, is it? I'd go to hell and back to help anyone and everyone I can. You're no exception. Even if the outcome would be you...ceasing to be you. At least you'd still live, right?
So pity is one of them. Curiosity another. But what other reasons could you have for prying into that place?
Oh, and I apologise for abruptly leaving last night... Had some... personal matters to attend to. Me and Lazurith are going to swing by on a social call to visit you tonight. If you don't mind.
I am not particularly amused that I had to be the Nomad's literal janitor for this solar cycle. It would have been most disrespectful to leave it in such condition though.
But there is something I have come to realise through analyzing all these scenarios. I cannot keep tip-toeing around the visible problems that you attempt to conceal. It is causing everyone else to be severely upset.
Why do you insist so thoroughly on disallowing others from aiding you?
Look- I can look after myself. Seeing everyone trying to get under my skin just to "help" me with things I want to solve on my own is just...depressing! You wanted to know why? Now you do.
Don't be silly. Solving things on your own usually tends to make it worse. It is not a weakness to accept help. It is a strength to allow others in your comfort zone. We care for you, and we want you to get better. But after what I and Nenet have witnessed? You're becoming more and more hurt.
We don't think you are weak, or pathetic, we just simply do not want you to become more hurt. Are you willing to share your thoughts and feelings?
We're all in this together. Maybe you can help me too.