"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Awriiiight! We're back on W-LZX Liberty Radio, I'm Screamin' Stu Stevens, and we're on the phone to our lucky tenth caller, Claude Foster of the IMG, who's hoping to pick up our backstage passes to see the latest and greatest thing to come out of Bretonia since Edison Trent, none other than the Locksmyths! So where are ya calling from, Claude?" "Oh, hi, am I on?"
"You most certainly are!" "Oh, good! I'm in orbit around Planet Denver right now. It's a nice view."
"Beautiful view it is, how many crew do you have there?" "Myself and 8 others. These Atlases are quite efficient. Back on those old transports, the, what do you call them, you know, those older clunky ones. You needed a lot of crew for those."
"We-he-hell, it's your lucky day because as you know we have nine backstage passes to go and see the Locksmyths live at the Manhattan Grand Stadium, with full return spacefares on PanGalactic from your nearest major planet, five nights' accommodation at the Staten Towers Luxury Hotel and limo transfers to and from the event, all you have to do is answer this simple question about the Locksmyths. You ready, Claude?" "Wow! That sounds a lot nicer than stays at most of our stations. I am ready!"
"Here's your question. During the Locksmyths' 815 tour of Bretonia, their bass guitarist was electrocuted at the New London Megadome. Nowadays of course we know him as Shock, what was his name before he was zapped? Ten seconds." Tick, tick, tick... "Oh, I think I read this before!"
"Five seconds!""It was, hmmm, Nicholas! Nicholas Boyle! I remember because my friend Nick kept getting a boil on his arm."
BRRRRRING!
"...Claude, you there?" "I'm here! Also, was that a good brrrrrring?"
"That meant time was up..." There was an unbearably long pause. "...but you answered just in time, and you are absolutely correct!" Fanfare. "(to the others in the room) That was right! We got it in the nick of time! All right, I'm glad to hear that Stu! We're all very excited."
"You have won nine backstage passes to the Locksmyths' concert at the Manhattan Grand Stadium! You'll fly PanGalactic from your nearest major planet to Manhattan, stay five nights at the opulent Staten Towers Gold Star Luxury Hotel, all expenses paid, with limo transfer to and from the stadium. But that's not all! After the show, you'll be taken backstage to meet the Locksmyths in person. All this comes to you courtesy of PanGalactic Travel, Dogstar Records and W-LZX! How are you feeling, Claude?" "Wow! I'm very excited. I wasn't always a big fan of the Locksmyths, but the crew has gotten me listening and I'm quite excited now. This is just as exciting as the time I found that huge asteroid of pure niobium!"
"Well, there you have it folks, we're here with one very happy miner and his crew who are going to meet the Locksmyths up close and personal. Meanwhile, here's the Locksmyths' latest hit from their new album, 'Here's Looking At You'. You're listening to W-LZX, where everyone's a winner, I'm Screamin' Stu Stevens saying WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The music started.
"Wow!" Claude said from his chair on the bridge of the Atlas. "I can't believe we actually won!"
"I know," Katya said, "this is going to be a great time. Where should we get picked up from?"
"Screamin' Stu said from our nearest major planet to Manhattan. Where are we now?" Claude asked, shooting a glance at Vincent, who currently sat in the head pilot's chair.
"Oh, we're, hmmm," he said, looking at all the flashing lights on the control panel to his side, "we're... I'm not sure, this thing isn't working again." With that, he began to hit the console.
"Hey, hey! Be careful with that!" Lawrence said, running over from his seat. He pulled a screwdriver from his pocket, opened the panel, and after a brief moment, it beeped several times. "There you are."
"Oh, that works, too," Vincent said, "I suppose..."
"So where are we?" the crew asked in unison.
"I'm pretty sure we're in Bretonia," he answered.
"Pretty sure?"
"Well, this IS what happens when the whole crew goes to sleep and leaves the ship on autopilot." Vincent said, matter-of-factly.
Claude banged his cane against his head. "Why did we get the extra crew if they never work?" he asked.
"Not sure there, Mr Foster," Lawrence said. "Maybe we should invite someone else to go with us?"
"Good idea!" Claude said. "And let's get some new crew members the next time we land."
"I figured it out!" Vincent said, "It turns out we're in the Stuttgart system!"
"Oh good, let's land and figure this out. Can they pick us up on Planet Stuttgart?"
"I was thinking, maybe I should take some of that silver to the Junkers?"
"Why?"
"Well, you were talking to that one fellow who seemed interested," Vincent said, "and it could give us a great source of fresh food at a good price on Freistadt. Plus, I was never much of a Locksmyths fan."
Claude nodded. "But who take your place?" he asked.
Vincent grinned widely and said, "That's the other part - you know who probably the biggest fan is, don't you?"
"Your brother?"
Vincent nodded and said, "Yeah! Earlier, I put in a call to them. It seems he and his crew members are just over in Sigma-13. They'll probably be on New Berlin by now!"
Claude smiled and said, "That's great to hear! I haven't talked to Mike in a while, it'll be good to see him."
"And I'll work on this deal," Vincent replied.
"Great! Thanks Vince," Claude said, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm going to go right now and tell PanGal we'd like to be picked up from there."
With that, Claude limped out of the bridge toward the long range communications area with a huge smile on his face.
"Guten tag, PanGalactic Travel Company. How may I help you?"
"Oh, yes, this is Claude Foster. I'm calling about arrangement to go to Manhattan. We're the winners of that one contest with Stu!" "One moment please... Ah! Ze contest vinner, of course. Vhere do you and your friends vant to start your trip?"
"Well, we considered a bunch of places, but we decided on New Berlin. Is that ok?" "New Berlin to Manhattan? Hm. Could be some problems zere. Ve used to offer direct services, but vith ze var, it's no longer possible to fly direct..."
"Oh, yeah, I imagine that would be a problem. I hear there's all sorts of fighting! Personally, I'd prefer a peaceful solution. Hmmm, could we go on a more indirect way? We have to fly around all the time, after all. Someone else doing the flying would be great!"
There was the sound of typing. "Ve can get you zere via Bretonia or Kusari, vhich vould you prefer?"
"Oh, hmmm, Kusari would probably be best. It seems pretty calm and peaceful up that way. Less smog, too."
More typing. "Ve can get you on a flight from New Berlin to New Tokyo, stopping at Planet Honshu, one day stop on New Tokyo zen down to Manhattan, stopping at Deshima und Planet Denver. OK?"
"Oh, that would be great! Denver is always a fun place to visit, at least since my ex-wife doesn't live there anymore. It was always a bit chaotic when she did and I visited and - oh! to the point, yes, that would work wonderfully." "OK, zat should get you to Manhattan two days before ze concert. Shall i make ze booking?"
"Yeah! That would be wonderful. Wow, this PanGal thing seems to be working out great. Glad it wasn't that one other company doing this. You know, the one with all those horrible accidents. PanGal does have a clean record, right? Making the booking would be good in any case!" "Only one PanGal ship has ever been destroyed, and ze captain is on leave, so do not fret." There was some typing. "OK! All booked. Anything else I can do?"
"There's not going to be any Junyo fish served is there? One of my associates has an allergy to that, you see." "Ze buffets on ze Kusari to Liberty service do include Junyo fish, ja, but zere are ozzer options available on board."
"Oh, that should be good then! I'd hate for them to go into shock and die. That would certainly ruin the trip. Wow! I'm so excited about this! I mean, the Locksmyths! On Manhattan!" "You should have seen zeir Baden-Baden concert. Vas out of zis vorld. And all of ze ozzer ones, too. Anything else?"
"Do you know if it's true what they say about Shock and that one actress? Oh, what's her name? You know, the one from all the gossip." "Hah! You vould have to read ze tabloids for zat, Herr Foster."
"Good idea! I'll look into it on New Berlin. When will they pick us up?" "You leave tomorrow. Enough time?"
"That should be good, we should be there in an hour or so. Oh boy, I'm excited!" "Vell, thank you for entering our contest, I hope you all enjoy your PanGal experience."
"Thank you!" "Ve hope you vill fly with us again."
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