NOTA: This story probably does NOT reflect the view of the SCRA faction on the Coalition. This story only, and ONLY reflects my view of it. Whether or not this story is approved by the SCRA faction is none of my concern.
Book I: Birth and existence
Dramatis Personae
Yue Fei: young girl of Chinese (probably) origin, from planet JiangXi
Professor Yang Weng Li: Teacher sent by the government, researcher and scientist in his free time from planet JiangXi
Preface
How many centuries has elapsed since the beginning of the human civilization...
How far we traveled! Through ages of glorious warfare and bloody chaos we remember... we remember Earth, and its final days.
However, the man and woman who named their little baby Yue Fei was far from remembering - or, even having known, the origin of this name...
Yue Fei, legend and myth, from man to general, general to hero, and hero to martyre...
No, far were they of knowing the tragic fate of the original imperial general Yue Fei, millenias ago, the ashes of this mighty and skilled strategist gone with the craddle of humanity.
Hopefully, they would only remember Yue Fei became symbol of the Loyalty and Patriot.
But, for the moment, Yue Fei was a quiet little girl, sleeping peacefully at the nursery, with a pretty, genderless name...
(but, if you translated roughly based on mere pronunciation, Flying Moon might be the nearest translation)
"I hate the darkness..."
I knew it served me nothing to complain... it only made things worse.
But what could I do?!...
I didn't wanted to.... I really didn't wanted to fail them!!
But now all I could was to sob, and feel bad for myself...
I so I cried, cried until there was no more reason for my body to shed any tear, and I still wanted to cry, because I dreaded this sense of numbness that would follow, this lack of feeling or taste for the next couple of hours...
I cried a lot. I don't think I'm that much a whiny girl though... at least... I... I don't think I am. The son of our neighbor would cry whenever he doesn't get something he wanted.
I cry because they beat me and abandon me to my sorrow...
Yes, yes I hate them, I hate them fiercely... but this... this hatred never manages to stay...
My head is so confused in those situation!! p... please... help me... whoever is listening to me...
I'm feeling so useless... so worthless...
[...]
I was blinded by the light that entered the cell where I was locked. It wasn't really a cell of course, but that's how I called the cave, because it was dark, didn't had any light and because that's where I would be grounded to when I did something bad.
Today, it was because my grades in math weren't very impressive... a near failure...
Urgh... I shouldn't think about this... or I'll start to cry again...! And dad hate it when I cry in front of him, resulting in me grounded for even more time... more terror in the lonely dark cave...!
I hate myself!!
Silently, I cursed my parents even more... and yet, how one could curse her own parents!... oh my heart is thorn...
But it was intimidated that I met dad, my head low, unable to look up at him, only staring, like a guilty criminal, at his peasant shoes of fortune...
"Don't ever deceived me again, Yue..." he growlered, obviously still angered at me.
"... n... never again father!!" I said, in a half yelp of fear.
Fear. I lived in constant fear, hatred and sorrow at myself...
What kind of... unfair... unfair life was that!!!
[...]
My bedroom was my favorite place in our house. We didn't had a lot of possessions - in fact, dad was obsessed in proudly repeating we had no possessions at all, since all belonged to the collective, basically, everyone apparently had as much as we did... which made me a bit sad, because I so wanted to be able to claim to the other kids how nicely furnished my bedroom was. Dad put there, a very comfortable bed he partially built himself, using the finest wood in the forest near our village and a soft matress he bought from the imported product store, at the JiangXi Starport 1 metropolis, so far away from our dwelling I've never seen it but only in picture, a large city of metal and light, and people living in wonderful heavenly places of beauties and wonders.
I lied on my lovely bed, staring outside at he beautiful white sister planet orbiting outside, so close to me, I wondered, if we built a staircase large enough, we might be able to reach the people on planet Volgograde much more easily...
I stretched my arm, and smiled slightly. The starry night was beautiful...
Focusing my vision a bit more, I saw a little blot of light coming out from behind planet Volgograde massive shape; that must be the famous Moon base facility, the giant asteroid on which the comrade in their spaceships defended the People of the Coalition States.
I didn't understood much of the war, but I knew we were in war. I knew it wasn't a very beautiful thing necesarly... it was even nasty. Who wasn't afraid to die anyway!
But, our teacher did said, dying for a good cause was right, wasn't it?
Them, she would point upward, the soldiers up there in space, risking life and friends everyday and nights, were heroes, and forever should be reverred as such.
That's why every children in the Coalition States were in so much awe when we saw a man or woman in uniform passing... and our awe would stretch to no limit if this man or woman stopped, smiled at us and said a simple "hi" to us.
I know, I had this priviledge once.
I smiled at the memory of that young adult woman who held my little hands once...
I'd like to wear her same beautiful uniform, when I would be old...
[...]
I never liked to linger around home too long. I don't know since when did this impression came in me. I felt bad for it... but it couldn't be helped no matter how much I tried...
It's strange. I guess it was all related to school, as much as it pained me to admit it. Not that I hated school, I loved it. Learning new things was great.
But to be pushed beyond the fun, what was... the point? Why should we all be competing with each others to be the best... are we so much in lack of attention, trying to crush the others under our so called superior intelligent brain to seek the eyes of the instructor...
Or to prove ourselves worthy to our respective parents?
Was world that bad? Were all parents like mine?
I have so many questions, so few answers...
Maybe I ask too many questions?
I walked to school, carrying my backpack on my bare shoulders, under the beautiful and strong sun. It was a beautiful morning, very blue sky.
[...]
"Hi, professor!"
We were a bit excited. It was a new one, a male. He looked a bit younger than mot we had so far, and his little round glasses, his little timid smile immediately made me put him in the category of the gentle intellectuals. I liked gentle intellectuals, they weren't the prideful type of person, so full of their knowledge and power.
"Hello students. Please, all, sit, please. I will be your new mathematical teacher. My name is Yang Weng Li."
"Greetings professor Li!" we chanted, happy. I noticed I completely forgot about my dark mood and my family. See, I do like school, do I? I'm there, smiling and happy with my comrades.
Although we compete against each others...
The real fear isn't among ourselves, as much as the reprimand we fear, back home, from our failure.
"Hi little one. Who are you?" professor Li said, noticing I was the only one left behind. Class was already over.
I approached his desk, a bit shy. And a bit ashamed of my own timidity. I hated it, especially when I heard it was appreciated of girl to be a bit shy.
"M... my name is Yue Fei, professor!"
He continued to look at me, his gentle smile broadening a bit,
"Ah yes... you are the youngest in my class... 5 years old, and so intelligent... your parents must be proud of you!"
I hesitated for a few seconds, looking down at my feet, and muttered a little "yes".
"No?" he said, and I think, I would have thanked him. For being the first person who maybe, understand me...
"I... no, professor... they aren't... a... and I don't know what to do...!" I blurted out quickly, embarassed. I cursed myself in my head. All the little... speech, my theories on my parents, all gone from my little useless memory. Urgh... now, I could only retreat shamefully away from him, him, my only hope perhaps at trying to...
to what anyway?
I began shaking a bit, and ran away, crying.
Less or more consciously, I heard professor Li rising from his chair suddenly, trying to stop me gently, but he was restrained by his clumsy chair.
By then, I left school, sprinting on my little leg to wherever they bought me, and fell on the grass in exhaustion, and there, cried all my soul out.
[...]
I woke up to the sound of confused voices. Opening my eyes, I was again in my bedroom. Someone carried me up to here, where, it seems, I fell asleep. Or all this was merely a dream, but I knew it wasn't so, when my eyes fell on professor Li, standing at the door, apparently talking to my father. The discussion seemed a bit heated, but timid professor Li obviously wasn't in the mood of arguing, and promptly left a few minutes later.
Father turned to look at me, and seeing I was awake, came toward me, his face a mixture of worry and anger.
I looked down, myself tormented by my own confusion of emotions.
[...]
If anything, this little episod of my life only tightened the stricteness of my parents.
And what could I do against it?
So all I could do would be to please them, as best as I could possibly, while knowing I would never manage to do so. It was a bit like trying to march to perfection.
A death march.
From time to time I would become first of class, and this would award me with a little approbative grumbling from dad.
Professor Li would often congratulate me - I often remained after classes a few minutes. Once, after a rather hard test on basic chinese history, he even promised me, perhaps somewhere during summer time, he would bring me to the city where he lived, and invite me to some restaurant.
I really liked talking to professor Li after class. From an ocasional habit, it became a daily activity. Hopefully, father didn't minded too much. He thinks I'm getting academic help from my teachers.
From time to time though, I would get bad grades, and I would be locked in the cell, or worse, be beaten by my father.
I never told of my punishments to professor Li. I didn't wanted to scare him... but sometime, I so wanted to talk to him, to release myself... professor Li was such a good man.
"Do not be afraid of the bad grades, for they are only a way to better yourself."
I wasn't perticularly intelligent - I knew. Although I forced myself to understand algebrae before the age of 5, and poesy of ancient China likewise, I could hardly follow up at the rate father was forcing me to study, when, looking outside, I saw a bright blue day or a white gobe of beauty by night. I wanted - to play, to have fun, to escape from this prison.
Every time I thought about leaving though, I never could. I was too afraid, and too ashamed of myself. After all what my parents did for me...
What was in my face this morning? I didn't quite know. It was finally summer time, after the long, long spring period. Children were enthusiastic, cheerful school was over for this year, and now, was playtime.
I didn't had a lot of friends in the village - and, considering just the couple of dozens we were, this really couldn't be helped...
So, no, none of them truly considered my friends, but we lived so close to each other, we knew each others as if we were brothers and sisters. And, as brothers and sisters, they came to me, looking worried at, apparently, how... sad I looked?
Ah yeah... I think we received our report card for the year...
Can you bet what hapenned, oh, whoever is listening to my mental rambling...?
Professor Li came from behind me as a surprise (as I said, the village was so small, you met everyone in a little walk or so...). I thought he was going back to the city world where he came from - he didn't seemed too much at ease with the "fresh air" of the countryside, as he used to tell us.
"Good day professor Li..."
But good and timid professor Li frowned back,
"Yue, are these... bruises on your arms?"
I looked, less or more consciously at my arms, and shrugged. Part of me wanted to cry, cry out the injustice, while another part wanted to ignore the very existance of my injuries all over my body, to protect father.
"Your father and I are going to have a talk, I'm afraid."
I didn't answered, too shocked to understand what was going on.
[...]
It lasted a couple of days, where I was mostly confused and comforted by professor Li, living in his own dwelling (yes, indeed it was built exactly like our own house, and furnished in about the same way). I think I saw my father a few times, his face rigid and proud as usual, only shaken from time to time by anger or disapointement. What was going on, I didn't knew, but everytime, professor Li tried to keep me as far away as possible from dad.
"Why?..."
"He doesn't have the right to do that to you."
"But..."
"There is no but, Yue Fei. No matter what he did of good to you, no matter who he is, the parent he is to you, he doesn't have the right to treat you with such cruelty. This is inhumane... and, it's been lasting for quite a long time, isn't it?"
I nodded weakly.
Of course. Why lie?
Didn't I wished this hell to be over?