Nighthawk's guide of to How to be lame AWESOME~! at PvP

[tansytansey]

Nighthawk's guide of to How to be <strike>lame</strike>AWESOME~! at PvP:

Step one:
Power Trade for a week, use FL companion to find the best route possible. Make sure it includes military vehicles because those have the highests credit per second turn out. Stop for nothing, if a pirate stops you just pretend you don't speak english. They probably won't let you go any way, but it's worth a shot, right?

Step two:
You've saved up a lot of credits, right? Time to choose a ship to fly! Fighters get owned by bombers, and bombers take some practice to fly. And Gunboats are just like fighters really, but with better guns. You'll own everything with this ship, but first you got to find the best one. Once you've searched FLstat for Gunboats you'll come across the Outcast Gunship. Wow, a gunship with 8 guns! It's a Gunships so it -must- be manuverable, and it has more guns than all the other gunships! Time to start repping your Outcast!

Step three:
Setting up your Outcast Tridente isn't hard, just head to Malta and take a bribe. You're already half way there! Now fly to Valetta Shipyard in Omicron Alpha. Luckily, you don't need Outcast Guard rep to fly a Gunship or buy turrets, you can purchase them right there! Set one up quickly, you'll probably want x8 Outcast Gunboat turrets, or maybe even a missile or two. No one uses Razors or Pulses, they're too hard to aim. Better stick with spamming missiles. Do a few missions and get your outcast reputation to full and buy an ID. Finally, fly to Corsica Station or Palmero base. Better to go to Palmero, because Corsica doesn't actually exist, FLcompanion is lying to you. Once there, buy a capital class 8 armour. You'll never kill anything with out it, only chumps buy inferior armour.

Step four:
Fly back to Liberty. Malta is for noobs, all the good PvP is in Liberty. Dock somewhere on a Liberty Rogue station, they don't mind.

Step five:
Sit on the lane between Manhattan and Westpoint. It doesn't matter that the npcs aren't shooting you, it just means they won't get in your way! Stop anything that comes along the lane. If it's a transport or freighter, demand it gives you 2 million credits. If it runs away, blow it up. If a freighter tells you it doesn't have 2 million credits, it's lying, blow it up.

Step six:
Finally, the PvP! Some Navy bombers have popped out of the lane attracted by your pirating. Time for some pwnage! You might have difficulty turning around to face them to shoot at them with your guns, especially if they're spamming CDs at you like lamers. Alternative methods to fighting are sitting in one spot on turret view and shooting them, flying away from them and looking behind you to shoot at them, or spamming missiles over and over.

Step seven:
What? How is it possible that two Navy Bombers were able to kill your uber ship? Something isn't right here... better go tell the guys on the forums that those damn ships are unbalanced, and that they were fighting unfairly. There's no other possible way you could have lost!

Step eight:
Call everyone noobs for disagreeing with you. You don't suck at pvp, it's those damn over powered bombers that all the noobs fly. Don't worry, go back in game and look for a few fighters to kill, they're easier. If they try running away, you can always catch them with your cruise engines. If more bombers swarm you, demand a 1v1, if they don't fight you one on one they're cowards, make sure you swear at them if you die.

Step nine:
Complain in your sanction thread that it wasn't your fault! You didn't know the rules! Your brother was playing on your account and you don't speak english! If you beg the Admins enough they might give you back your credits or unban you.

Step ten:
Seven days are up? Well return to step five and repeat!

<div align="right]EDIT:
Needed more BB.

[color=red]For those of you too up themselves to comprehend the intended humor in this thread: It's a joke, and an example of what not to do. Now laugh, damn it. Dur hur.

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http://i668.photobucket.com/albums/vv46/Ni...gcloudscopy.png
Image turned into a URL because it made your sig too tall. -Zuke
|Ashes and Draya's Epic Adventure|Ashes &quot;Nighthawk&quot; Yotaka|Nightfall|Eva Jones|
[5:50:49 PM] JakeSG (William Darkmoor) says: I like you, Ashes. You're more cynical than God.

[Marcus Lindberg]

This here is exactly why I left Liberty. Can't believe it still happens...

[Weedalot]

no one likes a Grinch... just another colored rant.

Edit: Ok couple more things, i myself love sarcasm nut you post something like this not in flood and pin it will give the new people the wrong idea. This is a funny joke, but it should be made clear. so yea "lol" and all but get this crap to flood.

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♠ Because we can ♠

[Bear]

funneh, that describes most outcast gunships around now days perfectly.

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[looqas]

It's funny once, like almost all the jokes, but a pin is a bit too much. And it gives the wrong idea to people.

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Flying under radar.

[DarthCloakedGuy]

...a week? There are people who can afford a gunboat after only a week of trading?

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HISPANIANS, FOR THE GREATER GLORY OF HER PEOPLE
A Plea to the Outcasts (PG)
CHARACTERS:
LR-I.Got.Nothin', LR-Empty.Pockets, and LR-Dead.End = &quot;Lash&quot; McDaggit of the Liberty Rogues.
SMUG~Eat.My.Exhaust = Jane Terraman and Bob McAdams, smugglers of the Liberty Rogues.
[H]Cj.Martino.Perez = Martino Perez, self-declared Counselor of the Hispanians.
AVATAR MADE BY SPIRIT! THE AWESOME.

[Irra]

this describes all outcast gbs in liberty , lol

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this is cool signature

[Flo]

...a week? There are people who can afford a gunboat after only a week of trading?

You forgot the cap 8 armour :P

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[schlurbi]

It'll hopefully make those people actually doing this thinking about it.

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"Who is it doing this synthetic type of alpha beta psychedelic funkin'?"

[Agmen of Eladesor]

This was pinned as a perfect example of how NOT to act.

If you find yourself lacking the appropriate sense of humor to understand this - then I commend you to the Athenian School of Social Etiquette Skills.

And as he DOES mention - if you act this way, please be ready to face the consequences.

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Oh god... The end of days... Agmen agreed with me.