Entry Thirty Nine - 11:52PM (SMT) - 27th March 818A.S.
Today I heard that Lieutenant Commander Angelica Broch was in New York in her Gunboat thing, hopefully she's not still in shock from seeing Ouroboros the other day. I decided that with Cryer doing paperwork again, to dely my work, I thought I might as well go see her.
There is that anomaly in the Badlands anyway, I thought that she would be interested in seeing it. I found her in New York though, she was already at the anomaly! So we talked as she told the system about her propagana.
She was in "Alvin's Gunboat" I think, I dunno what the deal there is, but soon some Dennis Jameson appeared. At first I tried to be nice, but he was really mean to me!
Soon some Hellfire Legions arrived, they were nice to me, and kept Dennis from shooting at me.
They were nice, but the 'Lord Commander' Joyeuse was really, really nice! He escorted me back to Magellen, and let me stay on his ship till Dennis leaves. We had a nice private conversation, but it's best not to put it here.
There was also a crazy Blue lady, she had funny hair and was nice, but I think she wants to do weird, lesbian things to me. I don't go for girls! She is mad, but really funny. Good friend, so long as I stay away from her bed.
There was also a confused police officer and a nice Order Agent of the Secondary Fleet. They were relitively quiet.
So after alot of chatting, I went to leave and go to bed, and Jameson shot at me! Joyeuse was really nice and told him to leave me alone, then escorted me back to Magellen. With Jameson about, he suggested I stay on his super-secret ship until it is safe to go back to Freeport 4.
I never wanted it to come to this, but the Order never trusted me... I'm on my own. The only thing they ever did was protect me from the Phantoms, not they're willing to put me in danger, for their own selfish views.
I quit though... I can't go back. I have the Artifact that I left with Magnus, swiped it before I left. Still warm to the touch, they don't need me, so they won't mind me taking what's mine.
I never thought that humans could be so cruel... I did everything to gain their trust, I thought I'd finally found my calling. I've been betrayed again.
Kinda makes me wonder if it's all worth it, protecting humanity and everything. If they can't give me the second chance I deserve, are we even worth saving?
I thought the Nomads were the bad guys, the alien menace, but it seems the biggest menace to mankind, is mankind itself.
I've kept this Journal to myself though, they'll never get it. Not even a glimpse.
And it's too late now. Without the Order's help, I am dead. It's only a matter of time before they find me.
I am going to die... I never wanted any of this, I just wanted a family! Oh great, now I'm crying.
The nightmares will still come, the headaches will never stop. The Phantoms will find me.
What I'll do now is finish my research, it's all I can do really.
Blackness. She was lying on the ground, if it could be called that. It had no discernable texture, and seemed only to exist in as much capacity as to oppose her weight. There were stars, she saw now. It was difficult to focus on them, and she could not decide if they had been there before... but now there were many, the perfect darkness of the sky pierced by an army of shining jewels.
Two of the lights flashed for a moment and then began to descend, spinning around each other as they fell. They seemed so close that she felt like she could touch them, and she reached out toward them. They moved to just over her hand, and stopped.
The pair of lights then drifted away, moving playfully as though to beckon her forward. She stood up and began to follow them, walking slowly at first. They began to move faster, and she began to run after them. The lights began to sway as though in wind, and danced around before her, always fast enough that she had to run to keep up with them. A feeling of warmth flowed through her, and she found herself laughing playfully as she hadn't done since she was a child.
She was in a field of flowers now, colors ablaze in the midday sun. She chased not a pair of stars but a boy of no more than ten, running after him and laughing merrily. It seemed an eternity that she spent here, playing with the boy whose face she could not see.
She followed him over a hill, and stopped in her tracks. Before her lie a beach, sand pure and sparkling in the sun's glow. Beyond there was a great sea, shimmering beautifully and moving with a calmness and serenity she had nearly forgotten. The boy stood at the water's edge, foam washing between his toes. She walked to him, feeling the softness of the sand and the cool ocean breeze.
There they stood, between land and sea, taking in the calmness.
Home...
The word moved through her mind gently, but deep within her something moved in alarm. It was familiar, the way the word had formed...
The boy spoke now, though the words flowed through her mind just as before as well.
"There are still those who would love you. You could come home, and they would protect you. They would love you and keep you safe..."
The boy turned his gaze from the sea, and her eyes moved to meet his.
In those eyes was something beyond words. The stars she had chased were there, but there was more... she saw in those eyes her own dreams and nightmares, and was moved to feel pity. She saw suffering there, and a blue glow she was all too familiar with. It was different, though, far softer... and more refined, precise. It was as two, one guiding, one acting. Yet more she saw... something ancient off in the distance, and images of the sites she had visited flashed before her. The gates, the dyson sphere, and the city in Newcastle- all there, with the same ancient presence she had felt. Those eyes watched all the others, layered all the way back to the eyes of the young boy. He was quite nearly crying, but stayed strong enough to speak another few words.
Entry Forty One - 05:43PM (SMT) - 29th March 818A.S.
I had a rather odd dream, like, not one of the regular nightmares I get. This was something... from the outside? I think someone was trying to talk to me, though I'm not sure what it's about exactly.
I remember his face, the boy's that is. I'm starting to wonder if I'm going mad...
Well I best move out of Magellen before someone tracks me down. No doubt the Order might want what I have, or the BHG, or the Phantoms. I dunno, this is so complicated.
I've had alot of support, seems people know who I am, and how valuable I am to them. I wonder who really cares about me, and who just wants what I have for their own selfish goals.
I was contacted privately by the Captain of Freeport 13, a travelling leviathan of a ship. I was offered shelter, somewhere to work out of. Seems too obvious to me, too easy to find me. Though if I really run out of places to go, I can crash there I while I guess.
I was also contacted by Commissar-Captain Katz of the Coalition, seems he could use my help. He offers protection and a purpose.
I'm not sure about the SCRA, am I really right for something like that? I made a mistake when I met Rosey, I don't want that happening again.
Alot of the members of the Order Secondary, as well as a few Primary Fleet members have offered me sanctuary too, though I'm not sure I want to be going back. Ever.
Last but not least, a Professor, or so he says, wants to meet me and discuss my future. I've never met him, or heard of him before. He mentioned his friends, perhaps a powerful backing of sorts?
He mentioned something about the Taus, something very important, I would like to go meet with him, perhaps that is where I should go next.
Entry Forty Two - 06:31PM (SMT) - 29th March 818A.S.
I met with this, Professer , his name is Bennet. Codename perhaps? I dunno, he simply cleared me to dock and explained who he is, and who his friends are.
Now I'm presented with my choices, I have to decide exactly what I want to do...
Bennet gave me a datadisk, he didn't need words from me, he just said what he needed to say, and disappeared before I could ask any questions. Then again, I can't think of a question I'd ask him, he pretty much answered them for me.
I've yet to see what this disk holds, could give me everything I need to know. I didn't expect this to happen at all, I just kinda fell into the labcoat, turns out I'm good at this. Heck, half of Sirius wants me it seems.
Why couldn't I just live like everyone else? Get a job, have a family...
Entry Forty Three - 10:47PM (SMT) - 31st March 818A.S.
I decided to meet with Commissar-Captain Katz, I should see what he wants before I decide what happens.
I moved up through Cortez, Coronado and Baffin to the Taus. I headed through Kusari up and round to the Sigmas. I met some police force and they were suspitious of me, we were talking for a while, I thought they'd arrest me and lock me up in Fushu Prison, but then an Outcast arrived to pirate.
I helped them scare off the Outcast, saving a Samura trader aswell. That pretty much cleared me to pass with no problems. I left Kusari, into the Sigmas, and finally Omicron-64.
It's a vast, empty system, now all I have to do is wait for Katz to come pick me up. Hopefully I'll be able to help him, though I'm not sure what he wants. I'm a little suspitious he might try to kidnap me for the things I know, but he would have asked me to come to Omega-52 if that was the case.
Entry Forty Four - 02:48PM (SMT) - 2nd April 818A.S.
Goddammit! I was walking into another trap! I'm so naive... The Coalition are the same as the Phantoms and Order, they don't care about me, they just want what I can offer.
Now I'm on my own again, I've lost my chance to go to Gaia, I have nowhere to run to. Soon enough my money will run out.
I don't know where to run to now, I have a whole datadisk of the data I actually need, which only leaves me with one last place to check out before I choose what the hell I should do...
Entry Forty Five - 01:54PM (SMT) - 3rd April 818A.S.
So I have one last trip to Kusari, it's all I need to complete my research. First off though, I'm going to return to New London and see a few more people.
I have to visit Cynthia, and see how Daniella is doing. When I return from Kusari, I can finally look after her like I promised I would. I just need to figure out a plan, a way to stay under the radar.
I've been doing it for months now, I should be able to work out something.
One last visit before I go to Kusari, then I think it's time I settled down. I can't keep putting my life in danger like this, It's not fair on her.
Entry Forty Six - 07:12PM (SMT) - 18th April 818A.S.
About time I made a new entry, I have had a busy few weeks on New London.
It's a shame to have to leave Michael behind, seems he was looking for me for a long time. I said hello to Cynthia, and Daniella is doing fine, she was so happy to see me.
So I've left Bretonia for now, I'm located in the Taus. I'll be contacting someone from here on Freeport 6, maybe the Blood Dragons can help me.
Soon I'll be able to relax and get a real job like a real person, Kusari is the endgame for me. I'm tired of everyone screwing me over or trying to kill me.
I'll be able to settle down with Michael and Daniella, we'll buy a small house away from anyone who would try to hurt us.