Shard feedback

[XCAI-17]

Currently just the one character being written, but who knows, more might arise. Alara linkage.

So... thoughts, comments, suggestions? I'm aware that I'm on new ground, not having written anything serious for FL before, and that always makes me slightly twitchy. I'm also aware that I'm rushing a little, just trying to get through the backstory to get to where I am currently ingame.

Comments from GC players particularly appreciated. I would have given myself an easier ride with initial chatter with GC ingame, but I've never seen any Chrysanthemum players on... hence probably going to end up with just dealing with 'NPCs' in the story... =/

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Alara Desante
Freelance Mercenary
Roleplay Feedback

[Commissar]

Nicely written; Shard's just plain creepy...
Excellent pacing too, seems like you know where you're going. Now write faster! I want to read the next one!

If the writing here's anything to go by, I look forward to seeing you in-game.

- Commissar

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May you live in interesting times.
| Sarah McFarlen | Jane Hartman |

[XCAI-17]

Ran across a [GC] today and ended up in a losing battle against IMG and a couple of mercs... ended in sad explosions and me halfway across the universe, but I feel more confident in writing the next bit now. Should be giving that a go tomorrow.

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Alara Desante
Freelance Mercenary
Roleplay Feedback

[Commissar]

Ended in sad explosions and me halfway across the universe.

Heh, happens to me all the time. Excellent, I'll be reading.

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May you live in interesting times.
| Sarah McFarlen | Jane Hartman |

[XCAI-17]

Finally got the next installment up, prompted by getting to talk with a [GC] who gave me an extremely hard time. Quite refreshing to have to think on my feet quite so hard, thanks KoЯny ^^

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Alara Desante
Freelance Mercenary
Roleplay Feedback