To: [color=#FFFFFF]The cream-filled center of a Montoya-Sephardi Sandwich Comm. ID:Commissar Leon Mendel Priority:HIGH Subject:Are you mentally deficient?
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Listen up you two-bit, beer swilling sausage lover, you think we actually value your support? You barely roll out of the bar and away from Olga and Helga the two cross-dressing bar-flies that seem to be the only population of Pacifica since you decided to take over there. I mean, with the beer-belly you have accumulated from bone-idle laziness coupled with an accute drinking problem, you aren't much good except as a tour guide to one of our ships!
Now as for your vaunted bomber squadrons, Putting the afore mentioned Olga and Helga into fighters and calling them a bomber-squadron doesn't actually make them intimidating... unless you're the guy that gave them that nasty bout of the clap.
Oh and for toothbrushes, I believe you forgot what one looked like a long time ago.
You know what, you lot are double-dealing, waste of space cretins with a single shared braincell that relies heavily upon life-support to remain even partially functional. My ships catch yours wandering around drunk shooting up rocks, we're going to demonstrate exactly what an effective and well disciplined war machine is.
You under developed, green-eyed space-rat just envy the fact that in contrast to you lot that has been inbreeding for hundreds of years, eradicating any trace of genetic diversity and capability to think of something else than military parades, guns and vodka in the process, we actually have awesome looking, blonde, long legged beauties we can spend the rest of the day with after a long workday.
We're enjoying our tasty sausages, kraut and beer while your people have to plague themselves with tasteless, slushy andunbecoming military rations or even worse, Synth Paste!
Your war machine? Your soldiers can't even think around the corner even when shoved around it. You could as well arm chimps and send them into battle. If your Captains can't even travel a System without being detected and beaten up by a fifth class amateur Rheinwehr Captain how do you think he's going to navigate a ship through the fields we call our home without wrecking his craft before even entering combat?
To: [color=#FFFFFF]The cream-filled center of a Montoya-Sephardi Sandwich Comm. ID:Commissar Leon Mendel Priority:HIGH Subject:Are you mentally deficient?
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You mean these:
It is good to see Olga and Helga haven't changed much... I wonder if I should send you the Intelligence photographs of your boys and these two at the last Rhienland Revolutionaries Christmas party...
I mean, now I can see why you consume so much beer, you'd need it to eat Helga and Olga's sausages!
Now, I hear it gets rather cold and lonely on that small rock you consider a home. I tell you what, we'll send a strike force out that way, warm you up with a constant Mortar-Super Nova barrage or two.
I'm afraid you must have confused intel reports, since that are probably the pictures of the last annual meeting of the "Widdow association for the purpose of common mourning the deaths of SCRA soldiers who have been sent to a senseless death by incompetent Commanders".
As I recall, the last party we Rheinlanders had looked like this.
That you need big guns like Heavy Mortars to compensate for the lack of other...qualities and quantities just makes me and all other Rheinlanders laugh at you and your band of pityful wannabe glaxy rulers and dictators.
You're just another guy thinking that wearing a fancy red beret makes you a better man than the common Rheinlander.
This picture you showed there is the very reason we only pick these girls out of the liberated slaves we get from abroad when we are sober. Not sure what you're doing with the lower end of the selection thats left for you when you're full of vodka.
Oh! Oh! Someone said something about compensating for something!
vs.
Besides, aren't usually we the ones shooting at the "flying turtles"?
To: [color=#FFFFFF]The cream-filled center of a Montoya-Sephardi Sandwich Comm. ID:Commissar Leon Mendel Priority:HIGH Subject:Beer Goggles
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Yue-Fei's failed cruiser, scrap metal now. Even in it's current state, considerably more intimidating that your fighters.
We have a few other, new toys, that we are more than happy to share with your boys. We are kind enough to actually come and show them too you.
It was, at one time, Rhienland that led the way in engineering... too bad your lot has to resort to assembling tinker-toys out of a DSE catalog... well considering it would mean time away from the bar, I can understand why you are stuck with small ships. Too much effort, eh?
To: [color=#FFFFFF]The cream-filled center of a Montoya-Sephardi Sandwich Comm. ID:Commissar Leon Mendel Priority:HIGH Subject:Beer Goggles
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Now I have to ask, because my curiosity is raised. What's with the rejected Techni-coloured decals on that thing? It looks like the cat my father dragged out back and put a bullet into to ensure it never bred... oh right, beer goggles must mean you are colour blind as well.
And I appreciate the logo there, nice to see that you recognize the superiority of the Coalitions Cog and Hammer, emulation being the highest form of flattery.
You are absolutely right, you are flattering us! We have been using that emblem long before you crawled out of that hole called Omega 52.
The design of the Arbeiter might be crude, but its still better than flying a black cubic coffin with pointy wannabe wings and a star-shaped bullseye on it.