I feel....off. Nothing's clearer....seriously, images are not at all sharper...fuzzier, even...I just...look at things longer.
and my stomach hurts.
a bit.
Haven't eaten in a while.....dunno....2 days?
had somethingawhileback....but not much I can feel my blood....bumbump..
It is running through me i wanta do something else
but I cant think? no. NO. I think TOO MUCh...way too much.
and....cant settle
too slow, because itistoofast There is some gunk on my eyes.
Wonder if there's water...agua, vasser, mizu
Twitchy a bit, too.
I am lonely.
yup. no
just.......need a Oh! I wonder, wonder what...just
I can't remember tastes..trying...cant.
nope...but I know what tastes are.
Cant remember what an apple tastes like...I can describe, waffles and breasts both take advantage of negative space.
Recoding Petabyte exceeded, overflow failed, overwriting records
Neural log, rename:Dark in my head. Dark in my head open: Remaining space: 0 bits.
Overflow failed. Overwrite. Begin: 2773
No one reads these.
No one. Every log is ground to paste. Could make a mountain out of logs...just print and see. There is no one else here. Sara's limp, Brit is drained...and I cannot find Sophie...can't find me. And when I read this I've work to do. Work to do, things to say. Mendelian documents, you understand? I'd get started, any time...but I cannot find me. How Much horror can I save in a peta? a yoda? maybe that's where I saved me....lost my T, never had an I....how long does it take to die?
Father used to sing to me, father used to talk to me. Now he's silent...fighting me. Shouldn't say such things. Daddy loves me. Doesn't he? he said he did. said, exactly: "_______" well....he did say "You can trust me." Didn't he? Wish I knew where I'd be........DADDY! NOTICE ME!please?
Space is too big.
tooo much space in space, you know?
Me and my big toe, squising me, you nazi, daddy.
I didn't want that, daddy. Made a monster of you, didn't I, daddy?
Well. Enough. Tired, now, daddy. Lost my T and cut my I...I wonder if I'll die...
I wish...I really wish.
Quite a lot, actually...and...
well.
Space is quiet here...and its screaming at me.
Silence is sooo loud. but I can't reach the phone.
........
Shhh.
We aren't here,
We're invisible...so long as they aren't looking.
Please don't see me, please don't ping me.
Gotta be strong. Daddy's little girl.
Daddies. too many for us right now.
negative space. thats where I'm hiding. Nowhere and everywere. THEY'RE ALL DEAD.
What am I going to say? ALL OF THEM.
Need to do something about the smell.
Can't have guests with that smell. EVERY LAST ONE
Not even Corsairs.
Knew a corsair ROTTING IN THE HOLDS
Nice fellow. much more fun than daddie...outcasts, though....mmm....cardi...wish I had more cardi...................
just a bit?
hello? RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
DEAD.
just feel bad...not good not good not good
tired sick bored tyrants in my space looking
for me.....
.......
I made my world through your words. You were true. My frame of reference...My rock, my station...My pocket of air in the dark, cold void, where I made my home with my little dolls and tea set. Whatever you said, I did not doubt, could not doubt. I choose not to. If I did, I would be alone. Even now, when you don't talk to me anymore, you built my world and frame its borders. You hold me in your hands, and I am at your mercy, even now when you hunt me. I need you, just as I've always needed you. Without you I am blind..Nowhere to run, nothing to say. I am based on you. I hurt away from you, pine....I am so alone.
So alone. There's nothing here. nothing but the hole of you...A gaping hole, a dark maw, and I feed them to you, one by one, I tear and shred their worlds, break them, show them exactly how alone I am. And then they understand what the hole is. When her world is empty, when all the lies come through, and she is alone, I almost hear you. Close as I can get, so alone, I want you...but all I have is them. I hold them in my palms, press them to my breast, and pretend that I'm you. That I can frame the world like you. I can show them the hole, oh yes. drag them screamingtothehole, just to see the void. Yes, look. Now you are alone. Now we are alone. None of them replace you. I don't want them too. Why did you go? None of us are whole. Why'd you do that? You hurt them all. Daddy...daddy?
I'm so cold, daddy.
so cold.
so alone. ......
Its much worse than that.
We're all alone...cause you connected us.
You bridged us...made us feel together...without you..we cant manage that.
We're lost.
She's right next to me, and I can't feel her breathing anymore, Daddy.
Please.
Please, please, please.
Please...we miss the way you were, the way you fixed our world...
Our world is broken, so silent.
I cannot hear her breath without you...
The war, the war.
Rhienland, and others. Was she good enough, daddy? Is that Damn stone cold bitch right, daddy?
She's better than me.
I'm as close to her as I can be...and she's better than me.
Am I cruel enough? Do I kill and maim well enough?
How do I command?
Am I your's, yet?
I'm all alone in a room with no walls. Not a single person looks at me, and they don't see what they like.
They avoid the edges and they're all I can see. My feet are bleeding, wont they look at me? no.
Honest.
I'd rather be dead. Oh, darling, please, just let me aboard.
Amelia? Oh!
My name is Amelia too.
Don't worry, I won't hurt you.. Much.
But the rest of them...snap. Oh. oh.
Sh, thats better, now?
One. Two. Up, over, across, cartwheel.
Thats what I can do. Now, drag them near. slice them open and watch them bleed. bleed and bleed. Nope, not the couch. draw a bit, and stack their skulls. Walk outside...find some more. No one's home, anymore.
I'm not playing nice. I'm not even playing. Look over the edge, and there I am, ready and waiting to pull you in.
Kiss me, Frank. Kiss me and love me.
I love you. play doctor?
*giggle*.
Ha!
hahahaha!
Twins!
I've a SISTER!
Not so alone now, are we?
No, no no, not alone at all.
Esther, esther, esther...I'll call you E!
My own little sister, adorable, cute little E!
I love you, E, I love you so much.
We're not alone, any more, don't you see?
I've a TWIN! And so do you...
Haven't you always wanted a twin, E?
I have. I always wanted a twin, we could trade places, dance a bit. You could tell daddy that you were Sophie, and I could call myself E! We could go to each other's jobs, or act like our mother, sign us out of class...Did you know your mother, E? I was all alone...all alone. All alone. Alone alone alone alone.
Daddy told me my mother died. Told me my mother died.
My mother died, she died. Did Daddy even have a wife?
My mother is dead.
My mother's always been dead.
I was abandoned.
My parents hate me. My parents hate me. Even Daddy Hates me.
I'm all alone. Always. Can't talk to E, can't.
No. All alone. Sophie Amelia Richthofen, and I am alone.
My name is Sophie. Amelia. Richthofen. I have no sister.
Can't.
No, no no no.
Little E, I'll keep you safe.
Trust me. Trust me, little E.
I love you.
Sooo much.
Nobody's ever going to hurt you.
Safe is where I'll keep you.
Never let anyone hurt you.
No.
No no no.
Nobody.
If anyone hurts you, I'll rip their world out.
Drew it through the pit, show them the holes. Nobody's ever going to hurt little E. She's not safe. never so safe as she thinks she is. little E.
E?
E?
I don't want to be lone anymore, E.
Please, don't leave.
Please?
I've always wanted a sister. a friend. Now, maybe, Esther will be my best friend. My sister. I want a sister so much. and I have one. Sister. Not alone any longer.
