Note book & Diary

[Rainy Day]

[font=Arial]Personal
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Its been a few days since then.

I cant believe I called Oshiro Takeru-sama -a highly respected and feared honorable blood dragon daimyo-.. "onii-sama".. aaah.. its so embarrassing, baka baka baka... well... I doubt I will see them again, I don't see many people nowadays, he must have been angry that I disrespected him so.

he probably wont remember my name though, I think.. so I'm ok...

I did apologizes, but. maybe I should have done my homework a little more so I knew that it was him.

Im so embarrassed...

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looks like.. I might have to give up on becoming a fully fledged member of the golden sisterhood... if i cant physically consume cardamine without death following straight after, then... they wont ever accept me, no matter how much money i get for them.

I don't wish to blame them, for they are kind and gentle. But, it is not my fault I'm like this... I wish to be able to take part in the rituals like all my sisters... I wish to be able to walk around Ainu without special breathing apparatus for fear of inhaling cardemine accidentally... I wish, that my sister were still here with me..

I am lost.. I gather donations but to whom should i send them... Okaa-sama must dislike me inside, perhaps she believes I am a liar... and that I just do not want to embrace cardamine... But its not true, though i can not prove it without.. dieing, and i am scared of that... I don't want to die...


[font=Arial]Notes
[color=#FF0000]Need to correct Re-breather apparatus, its malfunctioning and I don't know why.
~it cost me a lot of money, and i'm not even sure whats wrong with it... i cant land on Ainu until its fixed.. its too dangerous.. need to get somebody to look at it as soon as possible.

Need to refill the oxygen on onee-sama's ship, running a little low.. no wonder I felt faint earlier.
~suppose its to be expected when I have to sleep in there too..

Need to find a doctor to help me with my illness.
~Still, though I don't know who I can turn to now, Okaa-sama said to ask the blood dragons for help.. but... after that incident.. I don't think I can face them.

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