Ⓜ[color=#CCEEAA]ⒺⓈⓈⒶⒼⒺⓈⓉⒶⓇⓉ☽
[color=#CC8888]Guten tag, Frau Callahan.
[color=#CC6666]You do not know me, i am a Freelancer looking for my place in the Universe and we had no contact as of yet.
For some time my place in this universe seemed to be mostly around Freital, a Hessian base in Omega-11. I was working for Roter Frontkämpferbund for quite a while. Specifically, i was around Texas when i saw the ship i've put into the subject line, transmitting the Hellfire Legion identification.
This thing looked gorgeous and performed admirably. The reason i am telling you this is that i didn't just look at it and go away. I started digging around, listening to people. I heard about relations between Roter Frontkämpferbund and Hellfire Legion, among with orders to full-time pilots to consider those friendly. I heard many things. Specifically, i heard about you, and some connection you have to the Bayonet.
It is very important for a human to take his place in the universe, and from the day i mentioned i have considered my place to be in the Bayonet cockpit. So, if you by any chance have the means to spare one, do you need something to be done for it? I can do many things. Basically, for this piece of art, i can do anything. Just tell me what.
[font=Fixedsys]Source:[color=#CC99CC]Prison Liner Stellar Ranger, Bering, Tanner Asteroid Belt
[font=Fixedsys]Sender:Natalie Callahan and Fluffy! Recipient(s):That sword-dude. Subject:Fluffy wants a little sister.
[font=Palatino Linotype]The videofeed starts up and doesn't reveal Callahan for once. Instead it reveals a blue sabre-tooth tiger of sorts. Some random Gaian species which has shiny blue fur. And is covered in leaves that grow out of it. Leaves that in turn are covered in fur. Which is blue. It also has huge teeth and a tail that splits into two. Did I mention it ends in leaves? But it's a strange creature and it's being lazy on a couch while a familiar voice shouts from somewhere outside the camera's view.
[color=#CC99CC]Fluffy, tell the man what you want.
[font=Palatino Linotype][color=#CCDDCC]It slowly gets up and lazily strolls towards the camera, eying it with mild interest, growling a little.
[color=#CC99CC]Yes that's right, look the man straight in the eye as good as this thing allows to and tell him what you want already.
[font=Palatino Linotype][color=#CCDDCC]Now it looks confused and after a moment starts growling a little.
[color=#CC99CC]Come on Fluffy, why do you always have to be so freakin' lazy.
[font=Palatino Linotype][color=#CCDDCC]Turning its head, it growls a little more.
[color=#CC99CC]Dear lord, FINE. Don't tell the guy that you'd like him to get you a little sister to take care of and play with, don't tell him that he'll have to go down to planet freakin' Gaia and find one, don't even mention that he has to do that and like totally find me a wild infant of your species so he can get a Bayonet, and hell no, don't even THINK of noting that even if he does that he has to still send some bling-bling over for the thing, like totally eight eights in a row. Oh no, and let's not forget NOT mentioning that he'll be delivering to oh-fifty-four, hell why don't you give him no clues at all!
[font=Palatino Linotype][color=#CCDDCC]Did you ever see a blue and leaf-covered tiger grin? Now you did.
[color=#CC99CC]Fine, no little sister for you.
[font=Palatino Linotype][color=#CCDDCC]And now it yelps and looks sad.
[color=#CC99CC]He heard what I said, you lazy cat. Or lazy plant. Cat-plant. Plant-cat. WHATEVER. You'll get your little sister Fluffykins.
Ⓜ[color=#CCEEAA]ⒺⓈⓈⒶⒼⒺⓈⓉⒶⓇⓉ☽
[color=#CC8888]Right. This was perhaps the most unusual thing i've ever had to do for a ship.
[color=#CC6666]So here i was, spending a whole day on getting the right equipment for hunting on Gaia, spending money on bribes and whatnot. I even applied for Bretonian board to get better relations with them.
And can you believe that? When i was already on my way, right before i jumped to Edinburgh, i've met a Cryer ship full of Gaian wildlife! Maybe that's luck, and maybe that's the sign that we, me and Bayo, are perfect match. Speaking of which, are hellfurries included?
But yeah, back to blue cat-plants. Since i honestly had no idea which of them are female, i just picked two different ones. After all, two is better than one, right? Little brother can be a fine addition to little sister, just as hellfurries can be a fine addition to... uh... Anyway, where to send those eights you mentioned earlier?
[color=#444444]➸ [color=#AAAAAA]Towards:[font=Courier New]A man dressed in fur so fine, who grows a beard to pass the time.
[color=#333333]➸ [color=#999999]Regarding:[font=Courier New][color=#BBBBBB]Explicitly special delivery confirmation notice.
[font=Microsoft Sans Serif][color=#99AAAA]Bonjour moniseur Zwei-andeur. The Duchess of Bayonetville and CEO of the BigMAX™ Corporation is currently indisposed with slippery affairs demanding her immediate and undisrupted attention.
'Oweveur we are pleased to see that the pick-up ship has established contact with you and the requested gifts have arrived so that the hard-working people from somewhere can enjoy an early Christmas or something. We 'ave already arranged for your LHX-F1A 'eavy Fighteur to be moved to Freeport 2 in the Bering system so you don't 'ave to fly such a long way to pick it up, oui. As a sign of good will from our humble company, we 'ave also taken the Liberty to include a free three-month subscription to BigMAX™ ProSolution™. It 'eally is free of charge and we have thrown in a special motivational bonus package in as well, and as such you will find a collection of Gino Barzini's greatest hits in your Bayonet's cargo compartment. This collection includes blockbusters such as "Gino in the Navy - Gettin' Slippery Again!", or classics as "Military Admirals gone Wild, Vol. 23", and it of course also includes newly-released hits like "F%$§NG SINA!", with Gino of course in the lead role.
As for your request-e for 'Ellflurries, madame Callahan thinks that should you direct another customer for the LHX-F1A our way, she may feel inclined to 'eward you for that noble work with a set of the weaponry in question, oui?
Regardless, we from BigMAX™ - the leading force in male enhancement - 'ope that you find that Bayonet you desired to fulfill all your expectations, and we as well 'ope that you will find the extra-wide and extra-comfy pilot-seat and makeshift-bed combination to be relevant to your slippery interests.
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