Another day and another hold full of filthy degenerates. I should ask Inspekteur Dominik to attach a container to my cargo hold because I may have to start leaving these pirates to die in space. So, yes, it was a very busy day today although nothing really out of the ordinary. However, there was one encounter I found mildly interesting. I was refueling at Brandenburg when a typical civilian transport popped out of the New Berlin Trade Lane near Brandenburg. Of course I meandered over scanned the cargo bay and asked the pilot the usual drill of And what are you doing? questions. Though responsive, I found this fella to be a bit strange for some reason. I told him to dock on the border station so I could give his ship a physical search. More importantly, I wanted to find out what was bugging me about this guy. Let me tell you, this ship was as clean as could be, not even a smudge mark to be seen anywhere. As for the pilot, all I could deduce is that he is just a plain creep. The whole time he was following closely behind me and breathing awkwardly. I chalked it up to another loony-head flying aimlessly in space trying to die and let him go. I set a tracker on his ship but now as I write this log I see that it was quickly compromised.
You know, some days, people just really get annoying. Ive never been more abject to taking orders today ever in my career. In short, after calling the Inspekteur a meatbag he sent me home for the day. Maybe it is because of these migraines Ive been having. No matter what meds I take or how many mini-waterfalls I stare at it just wont go away.
It seems like things are back to normal today. Except for my headache, most of the day was pretty normal. Well, almost normal. I did something today that I should regret. My hold was nearly full again and instead of picking up that last pirate I just blew his pod to bits. Let me tell ya, if felt great and I dont feel bad. I mean who needs another meatbag anyway.
I do not feel well today. I keep hearing far off cries and voices. A couple of times today I forgot what my passcode was. It just feels like there is too much going on in my head. I feel, I dont know, lost and disconnected somehow. I dont know how this is possible. I am doing work that I love, granted it is no position in the RM but police work suits me I suppose. I just feel all wrong today. Perhaps when I get my good old Wrath out there I feel much better about where I am. Should be a busy day today, Ive seen several reports that Das Wilde are on the move. That is just what I need to get in the zone.
I hate and I repeat hate being ordered into a holding pattern. I mean I see the targets 12K away on my scope and Im told to hold and twiddle my thumbs while the Military handles it. I am sick and tired of being treated like a second class pilot especially when I know I can defeat these Wilde. It is like I can feel their next moves. I dont care about orders anymore we must go.
We could not fire on the Wilde. We don't know why. We...there it is again...I need to rest up. I got this message from the Inspekteur today after the encounter: "You are put on administrative leave indefinitely. Remember that it is your duty to not only follow orders but also to follow through with any engagements with hostiles."
Hah, what a load of crap. So we had a bit of stage fright. It happens to everyone, right? Tomorrow, perhaps we will show the Inspekteur our best qualities.
We don't need this uniform today, The Light protects me. What am I going on about? I....I will confront the Inspekteur today. The meatbag thinks he can order me around. Well, I'll show him I can kill a Wilde, a Nomad, whatever! I will bring him proof of it.
We are one. I am bringing this hold full of Wilde to the Inspekteur. Perhaps he will think better of me. We are strong. I'm not sure though. We will prevail. I don't know if I can just let him have these pilots. They are a strange bunch. Just staring at me blankly just like that pilot in the tradeship. We are The Light. My head is spinning. I just need to get these pilots to the base, they are creeping me out.
Well the Inspekteur was pleased with my delivery. Though somehow we feel ashamed for doing it. He has put me on a full Das Wilde patrol group. We will have you submit to us, Friedrich. It seems that I am supposed to be out there with the Wilde anyway. We understand your desires, Friedrich.
The headaches are unbearable anymore. The voices are ever stronger now. Hallucinations plague the day and haunt at night. Can't sleep, can't eat. What is wrong?