[color=#CC66CC] Junker Party Ship - Jambalaya.Space.Raft, Captain Armand Forgeron.
To:
The boring [LN] official people persons.
TRANSMISSION CONTENT:
Consider zhis an official subpoena monsieurs!
Let there be known that today, the [color=#CC66CC] Junker Party Ship - Jambalaya.Space.Raft was drifting through space, in ... ehm... California system (we think it was), and just preparing to enter the Texas jump hole.
The music was great, the party was on, and we weren't bothering nobody!
It was just a private party we were paid to organize for five DSE top-level scientists, important people, you know, oui?
You see, zhey were bored!
All day research make scientist a sad boy.
And then, they hired us!
While onboard, an unknown lady scientist made some experiments, you see...
And zhen, zee party started!
Everything was just ... parfait! You know, perfect!
And zhen, terrible party crashers came! Officer Matthew.Scott and a big ship, zee [LN] - Aleesha.Cooper.
Zhey started firing missiles, and worst of all they made us eject the fun stuff. (Let there be known that the Junkers, Jambalaya.Space.Raft Party Ship and captain Armand Forgeron had nothing to do with the orange party fun cupcakes! We had no idea it was even there!)
And zhen, they insisted they arrest the five scientists too!
So we are suing for damage monsieur! For the mental scarring that happened when out of zee blue you started firing cruise disruptors, for zee major damage that happened upon our hull when zee missiles hit our beautiful, beautiful, perfect (and not at all rusted) ship, and for all the fun party atmosphere that was lost!
We are taking this to Sirius Justice Court, and make no mistake monsieurs, we will win!
We are asking for 1.000.000.000.000.000.000.000.000.000.000.000.000.000.000 Credits in property damage and mental scarring!
(Or we could simply let this slide and settle for a mere 10.000.000 credits sent to Jambalaya.Space.Raft)
In the future, remember!
Contact us, contact the [color=#CC66CC] Junker Party Ship - Jambalaya.Space.Raft, Captain Armand Forgeron.
for marvelous space-faring parties!
COMM ID: [color=#99FFFF]Fleet Admiral David Hale TARGET ID:Captain Armand Forgeron SUBJECT:Smuggling ENCRYPTION:Low PRIORITY:Low
Good evening Mr Forgeron.
If I received a credit for every time someone has tried to sue the Navy for doing their job, I would be an extremely wealthy man. it appears that you were in the middle of breaking the law, by being in possession of contraband goods, and illegal narcotics.
There is a certain amusement to the fact you class yourself as a junker. I'm fairly certain that Arbieter Crow may be a little irrate about you getting caught.
I'll look over Miss Cooper's report on the incident. It is bound to make entertaining reading., Her reports generally do. I admire the creativity of this particular attempt at dodging the law's arm. It seems to revolve around the idea that if you break the law in completely unashamed fashion then threaten the agents of the Republic with legal action, they'll back down.
This is easily the best constructed effort at this approach I've ever seen. Perhaps you should take up a career in stand-up comedy. The amusement levels would doubtless be higher than those gained by peddling drugs, and I can't think of any situation in which laughter killed someone.
COMM ID: [color=#99FFFF]Fleet Admiral David Hale TARGET ID:Virgil Redline ENCRYPTION:Low PRIORITY:Low
Redline...
I trust that by "good use" you mean "following the law to the letter, and disposing of the contraband in the legally appropriate manner", right? If not, then I think we need to have words.
Videolink channel error at FFFX000F...
..old codec version not supported...
... stand by... converting...
Video link channel open.
*absently smiling in the videocomm*
Whoa, whoa whoa... take it easy mon ami.
You got it all wrong. See, we're providing a ship, party lights, party music , and that's it. Zee guests bring their own foods, drinks and, well, in zhis case auxiliary party fun.
For which, as we previously stated, we are not responsible.
Think about it, mon ami. You are in a club. Some pot-head is smoking synth marijuana in a corner. Do you arrest the club owners? Bien sur que non.
And we were not complaining about zee orange party cupcakes, as those were not ours. But we are complaining about the way you crashed this party. Sacrebleu! You almost set me ship on fire with your rockets!
Mademoiselle Angel Candy fell off the table and bonked 'er head. And mademoiselle Devon Destiny almost broke zee chromed bar.
And we all had a jolly good fright, monsieur. Merde, we could have had a heart attack, oui?
So, please, be kind and let's settle this the Party Fun Way and pay for zee big hole your disruptor torpedoe left in our skylight room.
*Suddenly frowning and getting close to the videocomm*
Your way of solving problems, officer, seems to revolve around the idea that while hidden behind huge guns, thick armor and a brickhouse of convenient laws, you can treat people like dirt. Perhaps you should consider that career in stand-up comedy yourself, to learn how to lighten up and smile every now and then.
I'm 147 years old, and of all these years, I've spent 70 hauling crap for Daumann, through the kind of systems that you don't usually want to patrol. I've been chased by purple flying squids larger than my Colossus train, and dealt with real criminals on a daily basis.
So don't patronize me. Son.
And if you really want to throw laws at me, maybe you should take a look in the Sirius Ships Register, and see that the party was held in the lower cargo area, which by some strange reason is registered as a totally different ship, belonging to someone else, and we were just towing it through space, lending a hand, since it seemed they... Mon Dieu... had no engines on their ship.
By all means, officer, I hope we can clear this misunderstanding, at my almost 150 years of age I'd hate to rot in some prison for the whole rest of my life. Since who knows how long that might be, eh?
*Lightening up, with a large smile*
You need to hang back and mellow a bit, officer Hale. Oui?
comm id: Virgil Redline, Commander in the Liberty navy
Admiral,
Of course I meant disposing of it in a perfectly legal manner. As if there is such a thing like me doing something not legal. The thought alone sends shivers down my spine.