Black.Sanderos, welcome to the Baffin Penterbarf. You have decided to be an admitted hunter of Zoners. I would like to be the first to congratulate you on this honor. It means any Zoner who can or Zoner ally who sees you can now hunt YOU with impunity, since you seem to have a problem with the fact that we prefer diplomacy FIRST, something you need to learn about! Enjoy your stay.
Bumped at the request of Episkopos Mal. To quote:
Quote:Too many people are ignorant of our Laws! They keep setting bells off at the Temple, and disturbing my bloody naps! No cabbages or uninvited guests allowed at Peublo Bonito! 'Nuff said!
Comm ID: Malaclypse, E-Prime, Baffin
Subject: Addition to Enemas List.
Target: "Occam's.Butterknife", Armored Transport, Cryer IFF.
Violations:
Violating our Sacred Temple, after being told to halt and move off;
Refusal to undock and discuss the matter;
Ignorance of TAZ Laws and customs;
Occam's.Butterknife is hereby banned from Baffin until such time as the pilot demonstrates knowledge of our Pentabarf, respect for said Pentabarf, and submits an apology.
Standard contract rates apply for our neighbors in Coronado.
23's,
Malaclypse,
for the TAZ
Comm ID: Malaclypse, Episkopos Prime, TAZ
I.. am.. Seething!!!
I have just spent the past hour aboard the Chapel Perilous, learning that the majority of our guests in Baffin haven't the foggiest clue about the TAZ, Eris, or Her Sacred Home of Baffin!
For what is to follow, you may thank the likes of:
Ridick,
Berserker,
Fantastic.Voyage,
Kurt_Howard,
and others who were too mute or too stupid to respond to courteous inquiries and greetings. Instead: "Wahhh.. yu iz mean Zoner.. why so hostile.. I can come here if I wanna.. "
It ends. TANSTAAFL!!! You wanna traipse through our Sacred Space? You'll show the respect due our Goddess and our Members.
Effective at 0000, The System of Baffin is once again Password-Protected.
The Procedure is simple.. if a TAZ, a Mandalore, or even a ZDF member for that matter greets you with the phrase
"Hail Eris!", you will be expected, nay, required, to respond with the phrase
"All Hail Discordia!"
And to that cabbage who said "I don't worship your Goddess".. this is not about Worship.. this is about Respect! For the TAZ, for our Faith, and for our Legal Rights as System Owners!
If you fail to respond with the correct pass-phrase
"All Hail Discordia!", you will henceforth be subject to possible taxation, loss of cargo, Banishment from Baffin, or inclusion on our "Enemas List".
As you can tell, I am not bloody amused.
You want to continue traipsing through Baffin as if it were your personal Vogon Hyperspace Bypass? Fine! All you have to do is learn and spit out three simple words when greeted.
"All Hail Discordia!"
To: All TAZ
To: William Bishop, Mandalore
To: Adm. Kaine, Commanding, Zoner Defense Forces
Cc: Matok, Commanding, Fifth Foo Fighters, ZDF
From: Malaclypse, Pueblo Bonito
Gentlefolk,
I have received encouraging reports from our TAZ members concerning our efforts to educate visitors to Baffin in using our new "Protocol" and passphrase.
I would like to thank:
[TAZ]Zen_Clipper
[TAZ]Dragonfly
[TAZ]Anargyrous
[TAZ[Templar.Beth
[TAZ[Templar.Gimmel
for taking the first watch. And special thanks to "Pizza.Express" for the munchies.
If either MM or ZDF have reports to make regarding folk who simply refuse to utilize the new protocols, I request that they report said cabbages here, with "evidence", so that their "penance" can be determined. Same for my Popes.
Be vigilant, be courteous but firm in requiring the "handshake", and let us hope that our new crop of cabbages will realize whose Chao might eat em.
(Oh, and to the Captains of the "Fantastic.Voyage" and the "Kurt.Howard". I find you guilty of mopery with intent to gawk. Your access tp Baffin is hereby revoked until you contact me personally. Word.)
Regards,
Mal
To: Ambassador Holliday
Cc: Warden Kyte
Cc: Squire Bishop, Gate Station
From: E-Prime
Doc, please add the vessel "Ridick" to our Enemas List at your earliest convenience.
He is hereby deemed unworthy to enter Baffin, for:
Failure to respond to TAZ hails;
Failure to observe Password Protection Protocols;
Possible use of a cloaking device in Baffin proper;
and, Eris thinks he's a twit.
Squire Bishop, usual rates apply.
Get out the Rubber Rose, folk.
Mal
You're not listening, Sirius!
Two more blatant violators. This keeps up, and I'll start issuing blanket bounties as well.
Vessel "Labour_Exchange", P-Trans.
Attempting to pirate a ZoE vessel outside Shasta!
No response to warnings;
After warning shots, proceeded to dock on Shasta and disappear.
Enema'd until further notice!
Vessel "ZeroCool" (What an apt name!)
Docking on our Sacred Temple right under my nose.
No response to demands to leave, then disappeared!
Enema'd until further notice!
You two take the cake. I have issued one Sirius-wide "blanket bounty" in my entire life. You may very well change that policy.
Malaclypse
And yet another.. sigh. This one had the unmitigated gall to return to Baffin, fly to Pueblo Bonito, and engage me personally.
Vessel "2fast4u": lolwut (obviously) OC Sabre.
for:
No handshake;
Violating Temple airspace;
and being somewhat less brillant than a box of rocks.
Enema'd.. not just until further notice, but until Thud freezes over.
Squire Bishop, contact me personally on this one, please. Biiiig Bonus for performance.. might finance your entire operation for the next year, sir.
Cheers,
Mal
And finally,
(Please, Goddess, enough for one day..)
Vessel "-Leprecon-": Kusari Explorer class
For,
Violating restricted space (Pueblo Bonito);
Docking without permission;
Refusal to undock and leave system;
and, being a fugitive (disappearing) somewhere on the premises.
Enema'd until further notice.
Malaclypse
Holy Goddess, Mal, keeping me busy I see!
All names added per your request.
*files paperwork and begins reviewing some medical records*