According to your faction info page, you're hostile to EFL because they have Jump Drive technology. But Gallia doesn't canonically have that yet. I can see listing them for having competing Gate/Lane technology, but that would be about it.
"The Liberty Security Force stands as the official guardian of the house, a bulwark against the tide of piracy, smuggling and foreign aggression that threatens the citizens of Liberty."
The Liberty Navy.
"This singular focus also dictates their approach to diplomacy: any group, be they pirate, corporate entity, or even a foreign power, that shares their goal of Nomad eradication is a potential, if temporary, ally."
"The operatives of Section-17 are phantoms. They leave no records and fly no house colors."
In the hopes that you actually roleplay this properly to remain anonymous, I will say that I hope you plan to use throwaway names and characters, and pretend to be third party interests when forging these temporary alliances, otherwise you'll only be phantoms for two days.
"Under the direct, unyielding command of its First-in-Command, Layla Rose"
So she has a name that's known instead of a callsign? I thought they answered only to a shadow council? Not really direct or unyielding command if you're merely a middle man for their will, as the process of answering requires her to yield to them, and by being a voice of a shadow council's will, you are indirectly responsible. Furthermore if the agents are loyal only to Layla Rose, that undermines the whole "It answers to no one but a select shadow council within the highest echelons of the Liberty government" angle you went for.
"They are the shield, the visible and unwavering line drawn against the darkness of the Border Worlds and beyond."
Visible shield huh? Are they phantoms or not?
"When a Nomad hive in the deepest reaches of the Edge Worlds goes silent it is often their unseen hand at work."
So, they steal the Liberty Navy and the Order's job by both doing run of the mill law-enforcement work, and taking down nomad hives without cooperation. Yet it says you're allied to the Order, so if you cooperate with the Order to do this, how is it an "unseen hand", does the Order know these people exist or not? Because if they don't know these people exist, given both the canonical and player-based roleplay surrounding the Order, if you aren't properly identified and seen around nomads, you're a serious risk to be dealt with however they deem necessary.
Nevermind this just completely disrespects the scale of LSF operations and nomad hives unless you're roleplaying John Trent Freelancer that's capable of killing entire battlegroups in a starflier.
Furthermore, if you operate in the edge worlds, why are you playing LSF and not Order? Especially considering the Order already has the liberty navy tech cell that would make the LSF necessary. Unless you're trying to get around Order ID's in-house cap restriction, which, if that's what you're doing you completely lose the covert, unaligned, and certainly the "unseen" "phantoms" angle you claim to be going for if you're operating capital classes.
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All in all this seems poorly thought out, and the contradictory descriptors makes me think you ran this through an artificial intelligence. The faction's identity needs more work.
It seems it looked better in writing than the afterthought, will reconsider some stuff and rewrite. I thank you for your honest and detailed feedback! ( hemlockes feedback )
Fixed, moving forward with the Faction information in general
(08-28-2025, 07:23 PM)Lord Caedus Wrote: According to your faction info page, you're hostile to EFL because they have Jump Drive technology. But Gallia doesn't canonically have that yet. I can see listing them for having competing Gate/Lane technology, but that would be about it.
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