I forgot to send you this yesterday. But here is the promised message still.
Can I now be a member of your fanclub? I have all your action figures!
Please lemme join. I'll even let you shoot some rocks in the We Just Dinged Them.
Posts: 6,077
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To: Mr Ernie. From: Marie Varlia, Smallwood PA. RE: Smallwood's Big Club.
Good day to you Mr Ernie. Obviously, Mr Smallwood is constantly kept busy by his fantastic wealth and innumerable fans. He does however wish to let you know that each and every one of those fans - you included - mean a great deal to him. Please continue to buy official Dink Merchandise, in order to collect the coupons contained within. After you have collected 6, return them to the detailed address and you will be rewarded with access to Smallwood's Big Club.
Many thanks for your time,
~Marie.
ADDENDUM: For $12 an hour, I too can answer your mail and pacify your many 'fans'. The offer is always there.
***INCOMING TRANSMISSION***
**ID:DINK SMALLWOOD**
**LOCATION:GRAVES STATION**
**SUBJECT:FAN CLUB MEMBER**
Hello, I am the legendary Dink Smallwood, Shooter of Rocks and Mollies, Feeder of Babies! My own personal secretary, yeah, one of the perks you get when you're legendary like me, forwarded your message to me, after sending you the standard response!
I'd just like you to know, that you're awesome, and that the fan-club meets almost every Sunday at 18:00 Sirius Mean Time, in Dublin. Make sure you bring your authentic Dink Smallwood mining laser, and maybe we can even shoot rocks together! See ya then, Dink Smallwood, the Legendary, Shooter of Rocks and Mollies, Feeder of Babies
***TRANSMISSION TERMINATED***
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