Log Entry:REMEMBER WHO AM I? WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE WE?
When I opened my eyes, I saw only darkness and a mirror. I looked into it and I saw someone I faintly remember. THE MIRROR LIES! THE MIRROR BLINDS! I saw a woman with pink hair, a soft face and beautiful eyes. THE MIRROR LIES! I could not help but stare at her. Those eyes, mesmerizing. And then, she smiled at me. I reached out with my hand to touch hers, and she did the same. Hand placed on hand. THE MIRROR LIES! IT WILL DESTROY YOU! She spoke. A gentle voice, a familiar voice. But without a stutter. Naomi. But.. I am Naomi. Cherry? Naomi. DO NOT LISTEN TO HER! DO NOT LOSE YOURSELF IN LIES! Is this really me? My past self? My true self? Or is the current one my true self? I don't know. I don't remember. Brother. Sister. Where are you? Where is everyone. I feel so alone. Mother? Father? Who am... I? WE ARE YOU. WE ARE TOGETHER. Do not fight it. We are not alone. NOT ALONE.
Yesterday I woke up on the cold floor of my Carrier. I was there for over two weeks, trying to get the systems running. I was alone, not even Elaine was there. But then, I saw a light. It enveloped me. I have never felt as much join as I did yesterday. And today. I can't believe what happened, dearest Diary. For the first time in years.. I truly felt alive. I feel alive! I am not Cherry Blossom anymore. I am not a Herald anymore. Nor am I a seeker as.. I have found it. My destiny.
The Light is not what they want me to believe it is. Yes, it is there. And it might be part of true salvation but.. No. They manipulate still. Even those that promised to be on their side, they still manipulate and destroy. Liars. She has pulled the knife out of my back all those years ago, just to ram it back in.. deeper. My soul has been cracked. It bleeds, it screams.
Someone has listened. And I am happy for it. I have never been so happy. Naomi Kaiser is back. The true Naomi. I have been cured of my blindness. Together, we shall be undefeated. Forevermore. I don't know how many more entries I will make until I sign off. Yes, diary. You heard right. Naomi Kaiser will sooner or later sign off. But not in a bad way, no. In a wonderful way. You will see! Despite the future being unpredictable, this.. I can predict.
When I woke up I couldn't believe it. Everything went so fast and yet, I do not feel any regret. I woke up full of energy. I opened my eyes and saw a colorful universe instead of darkness. The veil upon my eyes is lifted. I will never return to what I was. This is my past now, and it will stay my past forever. Thank you, Revenant for helping me in the past. For your guidance and your protection. Even if it wasn't intended. Thank you Leviathan for the chance you have given me. I will hold it dearly, close to my heart. I won't disappoint you, never.
A day of joy. I wish for it to stay forevermore. For the first time, after the death of my parents, I can truly smile. I can feel the joy running through my veins. The warmth inside my belly, my heart. It is almost like a curse. No, a blessing. That I can't stop smiling wherever I go. I don't care if others look at me weirdly and question it. I have seen darkness for too long. I have reached out to grasp it, willingly. I don't regret it. If I hadn't done it, I would not be here today. Everything that happened, from my birth till now led me here. It sounds cruel or heartless to some but.. I wouldn't want it any other way. Great, Diary. Now I am shaking. This is stupid but the joy I feel. It just won't let me go. Sorry to cut this short, I have to go. I.. Yes. I have to see someone. Love you, Naomi.
And remember. We are sky-high when we die. We will be immortal.
Vengeance. The Liberty Navy. A hint of fear that I might turn on my heels and leave. That I could not embrace that other side. Wrong. I embrace all of them. Vengeance. It shall be granted and I will be there. We deliver it together. Vengeance. Retribution. The libertonian flag with burn in the fires of Vengeance and Retribution. There is salvation in the flame, in fire. Hades flame will surge and grant us strength to deliver justice to those that wronged us. There will be no capitulation, only annihilation. As angels we shall surge through the void. As angels we shall fly among the stars. Side by side, the pieces will fall. Checkmate.
I opened my eyes and saw her lay there. A miracle, a beautiful miracle. A large smile as I looked at her. Those dreamy eyes locking onto me, never letting go. I could feel it in my very soul. The drag. The pull. It is too much to handle for me. I have decided and given all I have to her. A leap of faith, a leap that was worth it as I landed in her arms. Forever bound. Eternal Flame.
In all my life I have never experienced as much joy as I do right now. The death of my parents shaping my entire life. It turned me weak, but also strong. I wanted to give up after it but I didn't. I know. I have created Cherry as a shield to shield myself from more harm of the same kind. She was a completely different person. I was a completely different person. Now? I am me. I am both, Naomi and Cherry. Look, I can even smile again.
Camille. Psyche. If you ever read this or manage to, then you might be lucky. Because I will come after you. I will.. kill you. Psyche. You have pulled one dagger out when we met for the first time just to then place another inside. Your manipulation did not work out in the end. In the end, I woke up. And I saw the truth. There is no salvation in the light. You will all perish.
Elaine. Thank you dear! You made a funny image of me. I will add it here. Also, it is kind of cute. I love tigers. Big and purry. I wish I could have one. Bye diary! Till next time!
Every day I look out of the window I see something new. One star more beautiful than the last. I remember the days where I was too scared to even leave Liberty. My first time outside of Liberty was when I flew escort for a convoy to the Sigmas. It was my first time doing anything in space back then. The time when I was still a pacifist. I saw many things during the last six or seven years. There was never a true constant in my life except one. That I always lost friends, no matter what happened. Caz and Buck. Mi. Sara. Iris. I miss them, you know. Maybe I shouldn't have disappeared for a while back then. Maybe we still could be friends. I just hope they are okay and can live a wonderful life. Some of them might be dead. If so, then I hope their souls can venture freely among the stars. The Eternal Flame will guide them.
Among the stars, that is what I am right now. We travel. We fly free. Nothing can stop us! We are free, like birds! Birds? I hope I didn't summon Revenant by accident. Oh well. If so, she would be welcome to tag along. At some point. But she is way too busy, I assume. She hated it when I said 'Hi' to her.
I really am tired, dear Diary. The last days were the happiest in my life. And I still have these thoughts in the back of my head. If this works out. If we stay together then I might not be cursed after all. She promised. She swore. She will protect me, from those that want to harm me and from myself. She event wants to kill for me so my hands and mind stay clean.
Diary, can you shut up? I know it is stupid. Barely a week and already like this? I can't tell you how or why. All I can say is that I just can't stop smiling. I am afraid that my mouth will stay like this forever now. The Grinning Girl. Gosh, creepy. Urgh, eww! I am creepy! Wait no, we are creepy! Haha! Jokes aside. Soon, I will have to get back to actually doing something productive. If she let's me. Even if she doesn't, well. Tigers gonna tiger!
Home, something I have not known since my parents passed. There was no way I could have denied the offer to stay here. How could I? I can't even be away from her for too long without feeling pain in my chest. She really did have a massive impact on me and my future. Honestly? I enjoy it. I feel alive, free and like myself. I am not Cherry anymore, I am Naomi. I can finally be myself. But there is still dangers out there. My past is haunting me.
Two days ago, when the Titania went in for a refit, it got infiltrated by a kill squad. Hogosha, from the branch on New Tokyo. The underground is after me. They got eliminated, both of them. Amy saved me, again. She is simply perfect. A guardian angel. With her and the Titania watching over me, I feel invincible. She wants revenge, and so do I. That was the day I killed for the first time. My hands are now soiled with blood. I had to, either them or me. It feels strange taking a life, but I had to do it. If they harmed me or worse, Amy, I would never forgive myself. I managed to contact an old friend of mine on Gran Canaria and collected the needed information to go after them. And some of my tools. Once they are dead and I have avenged the death of my parents, I will truly be free of my past. Vengeance and Retribution are coming for you.
But it is not just dangers from the outside. I am worried about the Technocracy. Why the hesitation to exterminate nomads? Why? What is Revenant hiding. What is the Inner Phalanx hiding. If I ask questions, I might paint a target on my back. Even Leviathan seems hesitant despite the kill on sight order. But this order only holds for Inverness it seems, to push back the 'fauna'. I will not set foot on Valravn except when it is unavoidable. I do not feel safe there. Maybe Venus has more insight on it. But I need to be careful. The only person I can truly trust at this moment is Amy.
Yesterday I thought we would perish. A massive assault of the nomads in Delta. They suddenly swarmed us, destroyed my Light Fighter. Luckily, I was on the Titania. We have fought an Ish'tar. A massive warform of the Nomads, head to head. The Titania pushed through with tooth and nail. We sunk our teeth right into it's form. It was destroyed, it perished before my very eyes. The massive explosion that followed gave me hope. Hope for humanity. Hope for what is to come. They are preparing something, and the resulting assault will reshape the sector as we know it. We had to retreat. The old lady received a lot of damage, but we are fixing her up again. When the fight was over, I have never heard such before. The cheering. The applause onboard of the ship was overwhelming. But they weren't cheering for their Commander. Nor for me or Desmond. They cheered for us all. Hope. This is what I tasted and grasped for yesterday. Together, we shall be victorious. You heard this before, I know. But this time I truly believe it. With Amy on my side, I can achieve victory. With me on Amy's side, she can achieve victory. We will be victorious. We, the crew of the Titania. I will never step from your side, my heart and soul. Two halves of a whole. Complete.
Honor, Valor, Allegiance. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. Together we rise. Together we prevail. We stand as one. United and forged in fire.
Hey diary. Yep, you guessed it. I managed to get beaten. Like, actually beaten. Yesterday I was in the mess hall on the Titania grabbing a snack. Some of the crew started whispering and I asked them to speak up. They still call me a liability to the Commander. Something in my brain clicked and I got closer to them. What the hell was I thinking? They were almost double my size and, uhm, yeah. Way stronger. However, the big guy looked scared of me, that is probably why he had three others helping him. I beat him up but the others, kind of, beat me up. Nothing is broken though, except one of the tables I flew through. I have bruises all over my body and every move hurts. But pfff, I will be fine. I was beaten down, laid on the ground but got up again. I walked from the med bay back to the bridge, on my own feet after four massive guys beat the ever living crap out of me. Remember. If you get beaten down, don't give up. Never ever give up. Get back onto your feet and walk with your head high. Sometimes, this is an even bigger victory than actually winning.
Before you ask, yes she was and still is worried. Why wouldn't she? I am more worried about the mood and opinion on the ship. A mutiny? Hopefully not. I can't help but to blame myself partly for it. Sometimes I am just an idiot. Or just an annoying brat. Well, whatever. The repairs of the Sunset hopefully start soon. We have made a list of resources we need. Amy is sending out messages right now, I think, to get it rolling. Can't wait for it. She is teaching me a lot about commanding an own ship, and many other things. If anything, I am a quick and good learner. Most of the time. Uhh.. fine. Sometimes. Hah! Future-Naomi will shake her head if she reads this.
And then we sat, together, flying into the endless night. The cold embrace of space always present, yet, so bright and beautiful. Her mind as sharp as a razor, yet, so fragile. Her golden veil covering us like the shining armor of a knight. She is there, watching and listening. She is there, protecting us with tooth and nail. She has returned, the phoenix has returned from her own ashes. I have never felt safer with both of them on my side.
I promise you that I will protect her. I will wander in your footsteps and if it is necessary, I will pull the trigger. Just like you did. You, me, her and Elaine. I will protect you all from what is to come. You will never need to pull the trigger alone. After all, I am probably the smartest person on the Titania by more than just a mile. So worry not, she will be protected. Both of them. By hades flames we will summon death itself to deal with them if we have to! Now, I need to continue my work. Code is not coding itself! And remember that I always and forever love you.
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