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Doc listened carefully as Doctor Hope and CS spoke. A light smile crossed his face when the opened the bag. He was just happy to get rid of the stuff. He understood their distribution as he himself kept just enough on all of his facilities for the same reason despite his hatred of it.
"It is funny that you mention Stabiline. I too have been substituting it wherever possible. The jury is still out whether or not it is an effective substitute but if the Outcasts fear it as much as they do then it must work somewhat at least," he explained.
His smile grew. "Getting it is easy for me. Planet Denver has plenty of it and I have a working agreement with Cryer. If you want some, I can get some for you. That is research and results that we could share. It works well on the psychological effects without all the bodily effects." He shrugged. "The last time I saw my daughter I gave her some inhalers with Stabiline. She did not notice the difference but that was long ago." He paused before finishing. "Oh, I feel that one day she will come to me for something, probably emphysema from her heavy smoking habit."
He returned to his seat. "Dr. Hope, I know I cannot force anyone to undergo testing or research but I have faith that at least one female or even more would like infertility reversed. If for now the best you can do is ask for volunteers then that is a start. I am sure they were not thinking of that side effect when they started the habit."
He sat down again and sighed. It was obvious something was on his mind and the matter was deeply personal.
Doctor Hope let out a long winded exhale from her own helmet, the whistle of the air valve easing off as she prepared to speak once again. "We hope for the best of those we protect, and those lives that could have truly flourished... If it wasn't for the evil that abused their curiosity."
CS sat there with the same look as he always had. An unreadable pilot helmet who's visor hardly shines. But behind those layers of ballistic glass his visor was reading the anxious Doctor like constantly flow of sensor data: rate of perspiration, pupil dilation, movement cues, temperature map of his body. "Doctor... John, we are a people who value compassion and mutual trust above all. As such nothing in this room gets released without consent... As I've said, we're not in our diplomatic conference rooms."
CS once again turns his view to Doctor Hope, who in turn tenses up her posture before speaking to the visiting physician. "We can consider this doctor-patient confidentiality, if there are any issues you want to raise that you don't want attached to yourself, please speak with trust in us."
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Doc was calm even if he was upset not at the Platform but at the evils of cardamine.
"CS, we have much in common," he said gently, "we place a higher value on mutual trust and compassion than most. It is what I teach my students and interns, to be those things first before being doctors. We also value confidentiality with our patients and clients and this is no different."
He sat up with a perplexed face. "Did you know that there are some who consider me incompetent because I will not release patient records to them to settle their curiosities? I even had one man who wanted records for all of my people as well. He hates me now because I said no." He paused and sat back. "I will not compromise my integrity nor will I violate Med Force Standard Operating Procedure."
He sighed. He had much on his mind but managed to continue. "I will do what I can to help you. I just need people willing to work with me on a study. I will promise this much, no one will be hurt and it will remain confidential."
"People question my loyalties all the time, hate and superstition takes over because of non-compliance, sometimes it's hard to tell if I've become numb or if I'm really still trying to fight for something... It took a heavy toll during my time in Thuringia, but I found that integrity in the Void herself." CS looks aside, away from anyone elses gaze, staring off at the distance in the room... Or rather a screen that showed an outside view of the shattered planet of Gotha. "I think a combination of the choices I've made and the events I've witnessed are enough for me to do what I do at the expense of myself in more ways than one, even now I have a level of professionalism that allows me to communicate to you in a formal matter, although my home of Thuringia is unforgiving and has asked me to leave behind the conformity of civilian life and a chance to even experience it, or even a chance to smile again. I never want that burden to happen to anyone else."
"Enigma and Cipher have arrived..." Doctor Hope quickly after the conversation as the doors they all entered in opened once again. Two more fully pilot helmeted and flight suited individuals walk in with a exactly mirrored pace, side by side without fault as they both held one hand down by their side and the other tucked under the sling of their hoisted rifles. They both stood still at the end of the table where the bag was placed, Cipher keeping his look fixated on Hope, while Engima took a few seconds to divert his attention silently to Doctor Holiday before switching to CS while taking the bag quietly from the table and holding it down by his side.
While similar initially like CS and Doctor Hope, their detailing was ever so slightly different and personalized, Cipher had red embroidered pattern and was reminiscent of tree branches in the fall sparse with leaves, it's colour matching the deep red opaque tint of his own visor. Enigma on the other hand was met with a floral deep blue embroidery on his combat webbing, that also like his compatriot, matched his opaque and depthless visor. They soon both turned towards Doctor Holiday and gave him a simultaneous nod in his direction... Nothing said yet, the natural hum of the station being louder than any of their movements.
"Sorry Doctor, this is Cipher and Enigma, they... They give you their salutations."
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Doc listened carefully as CS spoke. He was no mental health expert but he new depression when he saw it. He rose to his feet and approached him, placing a kind hand upon his shoulder.
"It is called depression, CS," he stated. "Feeling nothing or numbness as you stated when you should feel something is a classic symptom. It might also be why you question what you are fighting for." He removed his hand and but stood close.
"What little I know of Thuringia is what I have heard in tales," he stated before shrugging. "Hell I have no clue where it is or even how to get to it but suffice to say it sounds like it is best I leave it be." About this time the others arrived so Doc returned to where his seat was while staying on his feet for the moment.
"Sorry Doctor, this is Cipher and Enigma, they... They give you their salutations."
Doc returned a courteous nod to the two. "It is a privilege," he told them.
He noticed the patterns and was curious. "If I may ask, what are the patterns representative of?"
A hand on his shoulder, a hand of comfort or false assurances, if it wasn't for the helmet and flight suit keeping a majority of him from being readable, the visiting doctor could at least feel a cold and rigid muscle on his shoulder... But CS didn't seem to make any movement in response, no looking, no relaxing, no tensing. But he knew the Doctor was a non-threat, even if echos in his mind screamed to get that hand off of him. Meanwhile Doctor Hope had stood up to greet Engima and Cipher physically, first Enigma received her custom as their hands grasped each others forearms and their grip seemed tight, holding position for a few seconds before letting them drop down again. The same repeated for Cipher. Enigma meanwhile zipped up the capsule stuffed bag and held it down his side with one arm before they both departed... Steps in sync, not a single word spoken until the two had left the room and that airtight door had sealed behind them.
"Now about your query with out health, that is a difficult subject..." He said with reluctance. Doctor Hope was actually for once obvious about her feelings for the subject, her visors gaze already taking off towards an empty space in the room and hands gripping eachother tightly with interlocking fingers. She didn't wish to partake... "Words again don't describe what was waiting for us when we enrolled, it's hard to when what takes place there when it is as silent as a sarcophagus, depression would be an applicable word unless it was engineered to the optimal functioning parameter... Personal joys became personal vulnerabilities that needed to be stripped in replacement for adaptations to the Void herself, what was left was a shell of a human dedicated to its environment and service to the 'public good' rather than a constantly changing regime and it's greed, but learning our lives were on the line for something equally destructive and corrupt... But the more we learnt about who took advantage from our service, arguments and division with 'higher ups' were bound to happen. So now we take that oath to the public good officially within the Platform... Even if my self-deprecating humour seems to be intact, I'd rather be depressed about something I know I don't want and have an active route to resolution, rather than live an existence where depression is incompatible to the function you're enforced to carry out and being fully aware that your efforts are detrimental to happiness." The quote, hardly far from humorous, but for him, it's more than obvious that it doesn't need to be stated with all seriousness. A circumstance lived through day by day, no matter the cost.
When Doctor Holiday queried about the uniforms and their faint detailing, CS soon held a bit of his combat webbing, his gloved thumb running down a padded shoulder strap. "Yes, you may... Some tell stories about us, some are expressions of ourselves and a rare journey to reseek what we've lost, it takes time to read and interpretation we leave upto any onlookers." The embroidery were seven horizontal swords in oscillating directions, on the other strap, three swords point down until the last at the bottom is laid horizontally. "We struggle to bring ourselves to speak directly about our experiences, it's better to encourage tales and myths to avoid the damage that can be caused by the knowledge we hold to become... Abused. Humanity for all it's might has many faults the more powerful the individual becomes. Sometimes it's safer to accept that we are just somebody and nobody at the same time." He seemed adamant about staying out the spotlight, although time would tell if this would keep the attention away or spike a craving for those who wanted to dig deeper into the abyss of Thuringians.
"The cell of the 'Damnatio Memoriae' are not the civilian governing type, so it's thankfully balanced by the others cell capabilities for civilian welfare and regular political frontiers. We are purpose built do deal with... Extra-stellar events and to give the Platform and Bundschuh the knowledge to survive them."
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"Humanity does indeed have many faults," he answered. "We see it quite often as unintended consequences. A good example of that is cardamine. It is used by the Outcast to enhance their abilities but look what it does to fertility and now I seek to treat that. Also, make friends with this group and then another group considers you hostile. The list is quite endless."
He was disturbed however at the reference of being a nobody. This was something he didn't believe but he did see their point.
"I like to think that everybody is somebody. Maybe it is just me seeing the glass as half full," he explained. "At Med Force Enterprises, everybody has a purpose and is somebody."
He sighed, "It disturbs me when people see themselves as nobody because everyone has value no matter how small."
He was intrigued by the detailing. He got close enough to where he could see it better but not so close that he would make them uncomfortable. He nodded as he looked at it. The historian in him came out.
"On ancient Sol, a lot of native people would wear what were known as tribal stripes upon their skin. It was permanent but it showed courage, honor and respect for the tribe they came from. Each tribe had a history and each was proud. Your designs remind me of that." He then backed to where he was, his hands behind his back to present an open front.
"So I have given you that bag with what I can spare which I am guessing is going to last awhile. How often will you need more as cardy is not something I get a lot of. I get just enough for patient use."
While the Doctor described his interpretation of their markings, Doctor hope was also holding her own webbing and caressing her thumb over a particular emblem. The Rod of Asclepius, albeit some twisted inverted version of it, upside down and the rod skewering the serpent in its neck by it tip. Her other hand down by her side resting atop her equipment belt and gripped a particular holster with a rather oversized side-arm. "Irredeemable..." She muttered, in a low, self-condescending tone.
While CS was happy to acknowledge the doctors understanding and concerns, he braced his arm on Hope's wrist ever so gently but refraining from fully wrapping around her to grip it fully. "Not to worry Doctor, we're all quite content with our position. We know what we do, and we do it well. Even with the public uncertainty and suspicions with us dealing with sensitive matters. I think the best way to put it is the Bundschuh have valued us more than just being equipment that is common in our History... Even if its only a slither of an understanding what our lives are like. It means a lot."
Hope slithered her wrist out of CS hand as he allowed and released his grip, she learnt forward towards with her hands now firmly placed on her knees to carry on with her discussion. Even if it was already hard to keep her composure in check yet the rarity of outsider dialogue was something she wanted to partake in. "With how things are going, we may see an increase in our need to obtain supplies from other providers, but our distribution networks would be more than happy to try a support a few thousand doses a month. Our goal is to sustain them, not flood their systems with the substance. In return we'll be requesting anonymous samples to anyone willing to provide them for your... research. I know there are many who would want to find ease in their difficult dependency." She gave him another data-padd, showing a list of drop-off locations across the borders of 'civilized space', dead drop locations and their corresponding symbols. "These are especially for you and your trusted associates, use these with appropriate alibi cover if you would please, we're not a fan of finding any trackers or tails on our scheduled pick ups."
She placed her hand inside her flight suit pocket, handing him a small domed shaped trinket with a single button on its flat rear, it was unoffensive yet hardly attractive to say the least but by design. yet its weight was dense as it placement on the steel table was muffled heavily under her fingertips.. "Tap once and keep it in the shadows, that is If you ever need to find us doctor, we'll find you. if you could please stay somewhere suitable for us to get to you without too many prying eyes... Usually a rooftop, somewhere out in the wilderness or in the dark corners of the Void herself."
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He listened as she spoke. He studied the trinket as she explained it and gave an understanding nod about it. The list seemed reasonable enough.
"Where John Holliday often goes, no one follows," he stated. "My retreat on Erie is very secluded and private. Only a friend of mine and a young care taker are ever their besides me. Consider that an option when I get there. Also, I have a facility in Baffin where I do a lot of research and no one ever goes. Consider that an option as well."
He paused a moment. He felt as if they were getting all they wanted and he was getting nothing except some gratitude and even that was hard to come by nowadays. "Medically, I would like to be able to help you all if you are willing and if anyone is willing to help me in my studies that I mentioned, I would be most grateful."
Hope and CS turned to each other, CS seemed to relax in his shoulders while Hope tensed up again, her shoulders coming closer in together... The two were conversing with each other, extensively, a range of positions in that would normally be found in a deep conversation... One with much worry, yet with equally as much gamble. Doctor Holliday's concerns were heard, albeit to ears who have great instinct to avoid even the slightest replication towards such endeavours A great moral and ethical complication while many consider a silent voice in the mass population.
"Doctor... This type of research. What we do understand that this dependency is brought around from long term exposure and an adaptable way of life to a land that was chosen by many. I know many see Cardamine as a great evil... But this type of genetic research has the ability to open doors to unconventional weaponised formats. While our laboratories in Thuringia are of a specialist nature and usually for our own physical maintenance, this sort of work brings attention we might to be weary of from medical monopolists and black market overlords. "
"In a more palatable sense, we hope this research will be used only for those in truly desperate desire or consent for such treatment. If we are to open up our 'laboratories of the Void' to this type of work, we need to know this isn't going to aid someone's need to control or profit maliciously from the vulnerabilities of others... We have some insight and skills we're not proud of, and they're usually kept locked away for good reason."
"We have some genetic studies on physical adaptations linked to anomalous environments, I have my distaste for humanity's constant drive for forced evolution being as easy as a pill... They make beings like us in the expense of so much that they don't see. Yet the Void and its natures have a way of unlocking possibilities if we're willing to shoulder a burden that we might not fully understand at first. I... Am willing to work with you Doctor, the Laboratories of Tennstedt may be a whisper to our local neighbours but theres a great deal of work in the field of otherworldly adaptations that we are gently grazing the surface of..."
"We could try asking during our next gathering at the consecrated grounds...?" CS interrupted, not losing faith in those who may be secluded within his cell, but need that barrier to break free... He yearns for them to dare and reach.
Doctor hope twisted her head a little, belayed in thought as she considered co-operative options. "We could... I do believe this would make quite the task for us, if we're able to ensure security of this research then I'm sure we can see about offering our secure facilities in hopes you also maintain its seclusion. As our engineered instincts have kept us alive this long, we don't like too many prying eyes into our other sacred endeavours, we are a means of desperation in the healing of the Void and its souls, not for personal embellishment."
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