Evangeline Anastasia McDowell

[Bazza]

Entry#: 155
Date: 17 - 07 - 819 AS @ 21:11 SUT
Title: Untitled.

In a return to a style I'd thought long since lost I now find myself staring blankly out the bridge window of In Silico as we meander across the Kansas system, headed towards the only safe way out of the system - the jumphole to Magellan.

I completed running through everything I own and have assembled a rough idea of what I'm actually worth.

The Alsatia - my trusted and work-hardened transport. If I took off everything I could and sold it for 1/3rd the original price on the second-hand market, and then sold the ship as a standard model, I would expect to receive in the vicinity of 143,000,000cr.

The Working Girl - the salvage platform I purchased from a deceased estate. These old hulks still fetch grand sums when in good working order. Such an imposing vessel is hard to come by on the alternate ship markets, after all. Unlike the Alsatia she is more-or-less a "ready to use" example. If I sold her as she sits today I would be placing an asking price of no less than 60,000,000cr.

In Silico - the transport Admiral Hale gave me as part of that " hostage " " negotiation " involving Remus Sius. Without massive changes to her original design and almost still bearing that "new ship" smell. Not that I'd actually consider selling something gifted by the ever-gorgeous Admiral short of a life-threatening situation, but if I did so I'd be asking for no less than 27,000,000cr as she stands.

The Maelstrom was the most troubling thing to put a value on. There isn't a single soul in this universe crazy enough to buy her as a ship. However, if I were to disassemble her and remove every component of worth and then sell the hull as scrap, I'd expect something around 370,000,000cr. The armour plating I installed would, even second-hand, be worth a huge lump of credits to the right person.

And then there are the other things.

Propane Nightmares - my bomber, an ROC Civilian class. It hasn't seen the light of day in some time and I may actually consider getting rid of it. The asking price, with a full compliment of heavy-duty ammunition, would be no less than 12,000,000cr.

Rounding out the things which are worth mentioning is my little old surveillance drone, White Devil's Proxy - tipping the credential scales at the grand sum of 150,000cr.

Last but not least is the Outflyer-II, which Vincent gave me. Credit value is 0 for the pure and simple fact it isn't mine to sell. But the ship is an important aspect of my life now, so it deserves a mention regardless.

Then there was the stock take of the goods I have floating about, tied up in various places.

Turns out I had a lot more gold than I thought I did. I went and cracked open two cargo pods that've been lying around for ages in the back of the Alsatia which I thought were full of raw iron ore - thus not worth caring too much about. However, upon pouring the contents into another, less recognisable container, I spotted a few armoured canisters in the mix. I ground work to a halt and inspected them.

Of course, being armoured and locked, it took some work cracking them open. But the result was worth it. They were full of gold!

"Someone" was up to no good. I'd be willing to bet it was all stolen... before I stole it again. Whoever is, or was, missing those containers is probably cursing the day they ever met the Alsatia... poor bastards.

So all of that gold along with just about anything and everything I could cram into In Silico's cargo bay is now on its' way back to the black markets of Liberty.

Alsatia - the base - now contains only a relatively small amount of goods which I'd consider for sale or barter. It did feel good getting everything clean(er) and (somewhat) organised, finally - the place has been a mess since day one. The fact huge swathes of it were isolated by a lack of air and, of course, the resulting lack of comfortable warmth meant it all got ignored in favour of the small areas which were required to be online for us to live in.

Loading all of our spoils all into the ship, however, seems to have taken its' toll on the girls - everyone else is sound asleep. I'm left here all by myself to do nothing but stare into the deep abyss before me, occasionally breaking the monotonous blue-grey ambience with a glance across the radar or control console.

Even little Sanya. The highly vocal hellspawn who has seen fit to deprive all of us of sleep since the day she entered this universe. She's out like a light wrapped up in her cot on the bridge beside the captain's chair.

I may be a lot of things but a bad mother is one label I absolutely refuse to be suitable for. She almost never leaves my sight and on the occasion she does it is only under the strict supervision of Misaka, Kana or Fumika. I don't even trust friends outside the family with her.

I abhor bottle feeding and I will see that she is fed properly - the natural way - for as long as I am able to provide for her. No matter the time, whether I am asleep, flying or even in a business meeting. If she's hungry, she gets fed. Having the knowledge that her life truly and totally is dependant on mine... it's a unique experience. One that I believe only comes with motherhood.

When she's asleep like this, I get a moment to myself to think about her. What she has in front of her. How she's going to grow up. It's just the two of us up here now, mother and daughter together.

I imagine this is how my mother would have felt when I was Sanya's size - I look at pictures of when I was a baby and I can't even tell who is who beyond the fact we have different coloured eyes - the one aspect she's borrowed from her father. The one thing setting her apart from me.

Her father isn't coming back. I can lay that sequence of events in my history to rest. My own mother dealt with the same situation; now it is my turn. Both mum and I have extensive, supportive families surrounding us. We can move on.

The woman I plan on making her second mother - my wife - is sound asleep in my bed, hopefully dreaming of the many positive aspects of the life I want to give her from now on. The day I propose to her may not come immediately, but I can say with absolute solidarity it will come. Marriage has been a subject fated to not sit well with me since the day "he" decided to break my heart with it. One day soon I will stand atop that taboo and destroy it, opening the gates for the real, true meaning to enter.

Sanya's older sister - the adorable little ratbag who's accepted way too much influence from her adoptive mother has her own, permanent room on the ship now - insistent on that fact after having been forced to share a bed with her mothers for the early stages of her time in our family because of a simple lack of space. It could only be expected, really. She's old enough to understand that grown up mummy's sometimes want the bed to themselves - granted she's not fully aware of the exact reasons. An upside of the new arrangement is it allows Misaka and myself to enjoy more of the things our grown-up relationship permits without fear of exposing the little angel to things she's not quite old enough for yet.

As for where the night-shifters Kana and Fumika are... they're no doubt asleep in each others' arms - as always. Having finally been able to secure a real, genuine bed over hastily-erected bunks, both girls have been taking maximum advantage of their new, private quarters. The two of them have reached the point where they are quite content to spend the rest of their lives together; whether that is spent working with me is yet to be determined, however. As much as I enjoy their company and having reliable, earnest employees, I can't realistically expect them to be here forever. Should the day ever arrive where they decide to forge their own path I'd have nothing but absolute support for the two of them. I'm paying them enough to be able to save up for their own endeavours, something I am utterly insistent on. What they do with those credits is their own prerogative.

Wouldn't mind seeing Fumika as a groom and Kana as a bride. I wonder if they've ever considered it... heh. I think there'd be no doubt who would play the masculine role in that relationship. Fumika's gallant, noble pride stands out well above anyone else I know whilst Kana offers a sweet, innocent aura as someone who should be protected and nurtured by a person like Fumika.

Pondering if I myself would want to wear a tuxedo or a dress leaves me once again staring out in front of me, with barely a single entity to pique my attention beyond my imagination.

However, something feels different. The past year has been a rocky, treacherous part of my life. But I feel like it's over. I can return to a safe, nondescript lifestyle and live without further regrets.

I wonder if I could even still call myself a Junker... it all feels so far away now - like a bad dream.

A bad dream that has now been broken.

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